Riverdale

For years, Riverdale had prided itself

as being the Town with Pep. Safe, innocent, utopian.

-But after recent events... -

...there was no denying

the darkness that churned beneath Riverdale.

The inequality, the prejudice, the fearmongering.

It had been bubbling to the surface,

and very nearly exploded.

Now, a re-shuffling was happening.

Now, some new way of thinking, of being

was required.

Principal Featherhead was stepping down from his cherished post.

The official story was "for personal reasons".

But word from the bird was that he'd been identified by an anonymous accuser

as an accessory to Mayor Blossom's Soviet shenanigans.

With a sudden vacancy in the Principal's office,

the PTA is initiating a county-wide search for a replacement.

-Mmm. -Here's hoping this one makes the grade.

Yes.

In light of recent revelations, and after much discussion,

Mr. and Mrs. Cooper had decided

to continue living on Elm Street as husband and wife,

though Mr. Cooper would be moving into the basement bedroom,

a decision that frankly flummoxed Betty.

You know the truth now, Betty.

Why didn't you leave Dad back then?

When you first learned about his affair with Mrs. Muggs?

I didn't want to break up our family over his indiscretions.

I didn't want you and Polly to grow up without a father.

Well, why don't you divorce Dad now?

What am I gonna do?

My life is so intertwined with your father's.

This is his house.

I don't own this station. I can't even open a bank account on my own.

And what, uh...

What about when you go off to college?

I'm gonna be alone.

You know that I have never been alone a day in my life?

I lived in my parents' house

until the day that I married your father.

It's just the three of us now, children.

May your idiot father and viper mother

both rot in a Russian gulag

for the rest of their miserable lives.

From your lips to Moloch's ears, Nana.

I always knew there was something squirrelly about Mom and Dad.

In the meanwhile,

it's up to us to ensure that the Blossoms rise from the ashes,

like phoenixes.

I wholeheartedly concur.

And rest assured,

I know exactly what my first order of business will be.

So, with Featherhead gone, who's gonna run the asylum now?

Well, not to sound like Chicken Little,

but what if it's Dr. Werthers?

There's got to be better candidates out there.

Like Captain Hook or Godzilla?

Just so long as they don't ask my uncle to step up.

Well, I actually know the perfect candidate,

but we would need support from the PTA to push it through.

My mom's president of the PTA, of course.

Well, that's a brick wall.

The last time we appealed to your mom's better angels, she let us down.

She did, but I think that we should give her another chance.

A lot has changed for her since then.

Well, in the meantime, I'm going to pay a house call

on good old Dr. Moldy.

Oh, I knew it.

Featherhead is barely out the door,

and you're already trying to take his office? So what's the plan?

Are you going to study us like lab rats

or experiment on us like some two-bit Dr. Moreau?

Alas, Mr. Jones,

I have no interest in being principal of this school.

No, I'm off to do real work, in Washington.

I'll be serving on the President's subcommittee,

looking into the causes of juvenile delinquency.

Specifically, its links to comic books

and other subversive forms of popular culture.

Well, golly!

Don't let the door hit you on the way out.

Oh, fear not, though.

My tribunal will still be doing the important work of regulating comic books.

Censoring them, you mean.

As a matter of fact,

here is our response to your latest issue,

which we rejected for the reasons outlined herein.

Good luck to you and your colleagues at Pep Comics,

while it still exists.

Damn, Red, you still got it.

I'm just buzzing, Reg. Buzzing.

Earlier this week, Ms. Grundy told us to read On the Road

by king of the Beats, Jack Kerouac.

Brought everything into focus for me.

"I was surprised, as always,

by how easy the act of leaving was, and how good it felt.

The world was suddenly rich with possibility."

You really got the bug, huh?

Yeah, I guess I do, Reg.

So much so, that this summer, I'm gonna ride the rails,

hit the trails,

I'm gonna be a vagabond writer.

Hop trains,

explore the country,

sleep under the stars,

and then write about my experiences,

wherever they may take me.

And what's your mom gonna say about that?

Mom can't say diddly-squat,

because I'm doing this during summer vacation.

Well,

jumping trains doesn't beat going to the best basketball camp in the world,

but if it floats your boat,

good on you, Arch.

So as a parting gift, Dr. Werthers rejected Zip Comics number 42?

And what was his rationale, may I ask?

Well, it's got to be because of the last story in that issue.

The Comet.

What?

But that one's the cat's pajamas.

I know. It's based off a W.E.B. Du Bois story

that Tabitha clued me into last time she was in town.

It's so romantic and philosophical.

"After a comet hits and destroys New York City,

a man and a woman come together and fall in love."

Their problem is that

it's a Black man and a white woman who find each other.

I haven't even told Mr. Fieldstone yet.

I think it's gonna crush him.

I'm sure. That Cometstory is a masterpiece.

Honestly, my first thought when I read it was,

"This would make for a fantabulous movie."

Well, if anyone wants to get in touch with Du Bois' representatives,

I have all their information.

Just saying.

Mom, this is your chance to do the right thing,

to make up for sitting on your hands

when I asked you to report on Emmett Till.

I know you regret that.

Mrs. Cooper.

When Riverdale High integrated,

three of the Black schools in town shut down.

And suddenly, dozens of great teachers were kicked to the curb.

There's this incredible educator

who spent the last year driving a cab.

Girls, I would love to help.

-But the rest of the PTA-- -Mom.

Make them understand.

Riverdale is at a turning point.

Now is the time for a fresh start.

Good morning, students.

I know you've all had a difficult year.

I know your previous principal

wasn't exactly open to change.

To new ideas.

To addressing the needs of all his students.

Well,

let me make one thing clear.

I'm here for every student.

That said,

the challenges that face us are enormous and systemic,

and if you're not part of the solution,

then you're part of the problem.

So I challenge you all.

Be kind.

Be decent.

Be better.

Now let's get to work.

Whoo!

Principal Weatherbee?

-Yes. -Hi.

I'm Archie, Archie Andrews.

Please, sit.

What can I do for you, Mr. Andrews?

Well, there used to be a teacher who worked here,

a real top-notch teach.

She was falsely accused of being a communist,

and she was fired for it.

Her name's Mrs. Thornton.

I know Edith Thornton very well.

She is a wonderful educator.

I know. Well, that's why I was hoping that--

Let me see if I can't right this wrong.

Get Edith back here.

Well, that would be swell, Principal Weatherbee. Thank you.

You're welcome.

Hold on to your pom-poms, my beloved paper-shakers because...

Cheryl, this is a private practice for Vixens,

not has-been daughters of Russian spies.

Now that Principal Weatherbee is ushering in a new golden age at Riverdale High,

I am launching a coup to take back control of my Vixens.

Therefore, Evelyn, I am challenging you to a dance-off.

Winner takes all.

-I refuse your challenge. -

- -

That's not an option.

Your turn.

Today marks the beginning of a new era for the Vixens.

To that end,

I have decided to live in the light.