Aperture Kids and the Mysterious Neighbor

Listen.

Do you hear it?

It's the clock.

It mocks me.

Because it knows my secret.

Shh, he's here.

- Maybe you should just stop.

Just don't do it.

I can't.

Why?

- Because I've gone too far.

Show in 30.

Jessica!

Jess!

- And the little fairy returned home,

never to fear again.

Jess!

Jessica!

Jessica!

Jess!

Jess, get this blasted thing off me, would ya?

Hold on a sec!

I got an idea!

Jessica, where are you going?

I, I can't breathe!

Jessica, what are you doing?

See, it worked.

What worked?

My idea.

- Your idea of what, pain and suffering?

No, of getting you free.

See, you're free.

- You know, I don't think I like your ideas.

Nice knowing you.

Where are you going?!

Who do you think they were?

Bad guys.

Hey guys, it's--

I think I have a bad connection.

I'm running a little late.

Alex, heat up the leftovers from last night

and don't forget to feed the dog.

Oh, and tell your sister not to overfill the bathtub!

Jessica!

Don't overfill the bathtub!

Please don't eat me!

Thanks, mom.

This'll sorta make up for the lame birthday.

Hey, yeah, um, I'd like to order a pizza.

Hey little ewok,

dinner's ready.

Let me in!

Excuse me?

- The carpet, Jessica, it's like a swamp down there!

- I'm sorry, but I'm a lady,

and I'm inappropriately dressed at the moment.

You'll have to come back later.

Ugh!

- Alex, uh, it's, it's dad again.

Did you know that conviction is an uncommon thing?

Only when you lay your head down at night

do you feel its gnawing teeth.

Maybe that's why I can't sleep at night.

And my writings only bring conviction.

Who is it?

Who is it?

The pizza guy.

The pizza guy?

You don't sound like the pizza guy.

Open the door.

Cool!

Pizza!

Delivered.

- Some nice man left this for you.

Um, thanks.

- Why don't you try knocking next time?

Total extraction.

Alex, English.

I am tired.

- I was totally ripped out of a place I knew.

You know why, come on.

What, dad?

Your father left us.

I was running out of options.

He left us?

Then why is he still there and we're here?

What?

He didn't have to pack.

He didn't have to move.

We moved.

So how did he leave us?

- He completely abandoned his role as husband and father.

I consider that leaving.

Over something he loves?

No, over something he hated,

like being a responsible father!

- There's nothing really wrong with what he did.

- Do you wanna go to college one day?

It requires money.

- He said he's gonna pay it all back.

Oh, really?

Well I'm extremely impressed with your vast knowledge

of personal financing.

Alex, you're 17.

- I know what comes after 17 too.

- Oh good, I'm glad you can count.

And when I'm 18...

- I'm sure the Army would love to have you.

- I'm thinking there's a better option,

and he lives across town.

- Why can't you be more like me and less like your father?

- Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot.

You're perfect, aren't you?

Alex, that's not what I mean.

Almost perfect then.

No!

You know what?

God's holy couldn't live up

to your self-righteous standards!

How dare you!

- Let me share a little story with you.

Dad still loves you.

He didn't want us to leave

and he's sorry for what he did.

Alex, stop.

- This Sunday you'll be wanting to go to church.

You'll be hounding me to come along.

Well you can tell the congregation he's gone fishing!

No!

- Okay, that's for making mom cry last night.

- I'm gonna make you cry in two seconds!

Stop it!

- Mommy's at work, but she left this.

"Jessica, clean that den of squalor you call a room."

I'm not sure what squalor means.

Do you know what that means?

Just go on.

"Alex, the last time I checked

"you still are unemployed and need gas

"to operate your motorized vehicle.

"Therefore, I strongly suggest you mow the lawn."

Wow, mom sure has a way with words, don't she?

Just stop it!

- Hey kid, hold that fence plank still!

That should do!

Let go!

Are you okay?

I saw what,

accidentally saw what happened yesterday.

- Huh, guess I need to work on that.

Tell your sister to wash up.

The yard looks pretty good.

- Wish I could say the same about dinner.

Okay, I'll tell her.

Tell me what, sweetie?

- Something's going on next door.

See, I said it.

What kind of stuff?

Scary stuff!

- What she's trying to say is I spoke with dad yesterday

and he doesn't like the neighborhood.

I'm gonna have to agree with him on that one.

- Okay, so now you have your father involved?

He's just concerned.

He really misses us

and he's been voice messaging me lately

and some of the messages have been kind of, you know.

What?

- Odd, bizarre, strange, you pick.

- Well it is your father you're talking about.

That doesn't surprise me.

- He did a safety check on the neighborhood.

What did that show?

A lot of red dots.

Yeah, mommy,

and I think the guy next door

is involved with criminal stuff.

Right, Alex?

Uh, maybe.

Dad said one of those red dots showed up next door

and he wants us out of here and back home.

All right, that's it.

You stay out of his yard and out of his sight.

You got it?

I was talking to a friend at work

and she invited us to church.

Oh joy.

Oh no, it gets better.

She needs someone to help out with her yard work.

- Isn't Jessica a little young for that?

She is, but you're not.

Oh come on!

You need the money.

- Can't I just work at the mall or something?

People who go to church make me feel uncomfortable.

They're always so self-righteous.

- You think they're gonna judge you on how you cut grass?

No, there's other stuff.

Oh really?

Are you confessing?