Doctor Who

# Hmm-hmm hmm, hmm-hmm

# Hmm-hmm-hmm

# Hmm-hmm...#

AMY GASPS

RORY-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y!

Rory, it's starting.

Ah. OK, OK...

False alarm.

What? Well, I don't know what it feels like.

I've never had a baby before.

METALLIC THRUMMING

Mmm!

No.

I know - leaf blowers. Use a rake!

No, it's...

I knew.

I just knew.

Rory. Doctor. I've crushed your flowers.

Oh, Amy will kill you. Where is she?

She'll need a bit longer. Whenever you're ready, Amy.

Oh, wahey! Wahey.

You've swallowed a planet. I'm pregnant.

You're huge. Yeah, I'm pregnant.

Look at you. When worlds collide. Doctor, I'm pregnant.

Oh, look at you both. Five years later and you haven't changed a bit.

Apart from age and size.

Good to see you, Doctor.

Are you pregnant?

Ah, Leadworth.

Vibrant as ever. It's Upper Leadworth, actually.

We've gone slightly upmarket.

Where is everyone? This is busy.

OK, it's quiet.

But it's really restful and healthy.

Loads of people here live well into their 90s.

Well, don't let that get you down.

It's not getting me down.

BIRDSONG I wanted to see how you were.

I don't just abandon people when they leave the TARDIS.

This Time Lord's for life.

You don't get rid of the Doctor so easily.

You came here by mistake, didn't you? Yeah, bit of a mistake. But look,

what a result. Look at this... bench. What a nice bench.

What will they think of next?

So. What do you do around here to stave off the, you know...

Boredom. ..Self harm.

We relax...

THE DOCTOR MOUTHS SILENTLY

..We live,

we listen to the birds.

Yeah, see, birds.

Those are nice.

We didn't get time to listen to birdsong back in the TARDIS days. BIRDSONG GETS LOUDER

Oh, blimey. My head's a bit, ooh...

No, you're right,

there wasn't a a lot of time for birdsong back in the good...

..old...

..days. What? No, yes, sorry, what?

Oh, you're OK.

Oh, thank God. I had a terrible nightmare about you two.

That was scary.

Don't ask, you don't want to know.

You're safe now. Oh, OK. That's what counts.

Blimey, never dropped off like that before. Well, never, really.

I'm getting on a bit, you see.

Don't let the cool gear fool you. Now, what's wrong with the console?

Red flashing lights...

I bet they mean something. Doctor, I also had a kind of dream thing.

Yeah, so did I. Not a nightmare, though, just...

we were married. Yeah.

In a little village. A sweet little village, and you were pregnant.

Yeah, I was huge. I was a boat.

So you had the same dream, then?

Exactly the same dream? Are you calling me a boat?

And Doctor, you were visiting.

Yeah, yeah, you came to our cottage.

How can we have the same dream? It doesn't make sense.

And you had a nightmare about us. What happened to us in the nightmare?

It was similar. In some aspects.

Which aspects? All of them. You had the same dream? Basically.

You said it was a nightmare.

Did I say nightmare? No. More of a really good...mare.

Look, it doesn't matter. We all had some kind of psychic episode.

We probably jumped a time track.

BIRDSONG Forget it, we're back to reality.

Doctor, if we're back to reality how come I can still hear birds?

Yeah, the same birds. The same ones we heard in the dream.

Oh. Sorry. Nodded off, stupid.

God, I must be overdoing it.

I was dreaming we were back on the TARDIS.

You had the same dream, didn't you?

Weren't we just saying the same thing?

But we thought this was the dream. I think so. Why do dreams fade so quickly?

Doctor, what is going on? Is this because of you?

Is this because you've shown up again? Listen to me.

Trust nothing. From now on, trust nothing you see, hear or feel.

But we're awake now.

You thought you were awake on the TARDIS too.

But we're home. Yeah. You're home. You're also dreaming. Trouble is, which is which?

Are we flashing forwards...

or backwards?

Hold on tight.

This is going be a tricky one.

Doctor Who S05E07 - Amy's Choice

by Mighty_Marvel

AMY GASPS

This is bad. I don't like this.

Argh!

Never use force. You just embarrass yourself.

Unless you're cross, in which case - always use force.

Shall I run and get the manual? I threw it in a supernova.

You threw the manual in a supernova?

Why? Because I disagreed with it.

Stop talking to me when I'm cross.

OK, but whatever's wrong with the TARDIS, is that what caused us to dream about the future?

If we were dreaming of the future...

Of course we were. We were in Leadworth. Upper Leadworth.

Yeah, and we could still be in Upper Leadworth, dreaming of this. Don't you get it?

No, OK, no, this is real. I'm definitely awake now.

And you thought you were awake when you were all elephanty.

Hey, pregnant.

You could be giving birth. This could be the dream.

Trust nothing we see or hear or feel. Look around you.

Examine everything. Look for all the details that don't ring true.

OK, we're in a spaceship that's bigger on the inside than the outside.

With a bow tie-wearing alien. So maybe "what rings true" isn't so simple.

Valid point.

TARDIS POWERS DOWN

It's dead.

We're in a dead time machine.

BIRDSONG

Remember - this is real, but when we wake up in the other place, remember how real this feels.

It is real. I know it's real.

OK. This is the real one, definitely this one. It's all solid.

It felt solid in the TARDIS too. You can't spot a dream while you're having it.

What are you doing?

Looking for motion blur, pixilation. It could be a computer simulation.

I don't think so, though.

Hello, Doctor. Hi. Hello.

You're a doctor. Yeah. And unlike you, I've actually passed some exams. A doctor, not a nurse.

Just like you've always dreamed.

How interesting. What is?

Your dream wife, your dream job, probably your dream baby.

Maybe this is your dream.

It's Amy's dream too. Isn't it, Amy?

Yes. Course it is, yeah. What's that?

Old people's home.

You said everyone here lives to their 90s. There's something here that doesn't make sense.

Let's go and poke it with a stick.

Oh. Can we not do the running thing?

Oh, hello, Dr Williams.

Hello, Rory love.

Hello, Mrs Poggit. How's your hip?

A bit stiff. Oh, easy, D-96 compound, plus...

No, you don't have that yet, forget that.

Who's your friend?

A junior doctor?

Yes. Can I borrow you?

You're the size of my grandson.

Slightly keen to move on. Freak psychic schism to sort out.

You're incredibly old, aren't you?

BIRDSONG

OK, I hate this, Doctor. Stop it, because this is definitely real, it's definitely this one.

I keep saying that, don't I? It's bloody cold. The heating's off.

The heating's off? Yeah. Put on a jumper. That's what I always do.

Yes, sorry about Mrs Poggit. She's so lovely though.

Oh, I wouldn't believe her nice old lady act if I were you.

What do you mean, "act"?

Everything's off, sensors, core power. We're drifting.

The scanner's down so we can't even see out. We could be anywhere.

Someone, something, is overriding my controls.

Well, that took a while.

Honestly, I'd heard such good things.

Last of the Time Lords, the Oncoming Storm.

Him in the bow tie.

How did you get into my TARDIS?

What are you? What shall we call me?

Well, if you're the Time Lord, let's call me the Dream Lord.

Nice look. This? No, I'm not convinced.

Bow ties?

Interesting.

I'd love to be impressed, but Dream Lord - it's in the name, isn't it?

Spooky, not quite there.

And yet, very much here. I'll do the talking, thank you.

Amy, want to take a guess at what that is?

Um. Dream Lord. He creates dreams.

Dreams, delusions, cheap tricks.

And what about the gooseberry here, does he get a guess?

Listen, mate, if anyone's the gooseberry around here, it's the Doctor.

There's a delusion I'm not responsible for.

No, he is. Isn't he, Amy?

Oh, Amy, have to sort your men out.

Choose, even.

I have chosen. Of course I've chosen.

It's you, stupid. Oh, good, thanks.

You can't fool me. I've seen your dreams.

Some of them twice, Amy. Blimey.

I'd blush if I had a blood supply or a real face.

Where did you pick up this cheap cabaret act?

Me? Oh, you're on shaky ground.