Slow Horses

Ingrid, how simply delightful to see you. I would offer you tea or coffee,

but I think what you really need is a big slice of humble pie. What's this?

My resignation. Let's get this over with.

No need to go that far,

unless there's some personal scandal I don't know about.

You set a tiger team on MI5.

What's that? I'm not familiar with the jargon.

A tiger team is a unit employed to test an organization's defenses.

So, sort of set a thief to catch a thief.

Pay someone to check whether your security systems are any good.

That's it.

In that case, yes, I did do that. Guilty as charged.

But isn't it more to probe weaknesses,

test whether said organization can pass muster under pressure?

Yes. All of that.

And how did MI5 fare?

One of our agents was blackmailed into breaking into the Park

to steal the PM's vetting file.

So far, so bad. Did they get it?

- No. - Shame. I'd love a gander.

Is it true he gets his wife to piss on him,

or is that just a rumor I started? I forget.

They got close enough that this counts as a major security breach on my watch,

which is why I have to go.

I don't want you to go, Ingrid.

Then what do you want?

Finally.

You made me look like a muppet by bringing me a fake diamond

just so you could sneak into the Park.

Look, this has just been one big misunderstanding. Okay?

Please. For the 1,000th time,

I believed that Catherine Standish's life was in danger.

Relax. Chieftain are handing her over now. Standish is fine.

I know she's fine.

F-- God's--

Come on! Fuck.

Well played, mate. Well played. Mission accomplished.

Tiger team are a roaring success. And the beers? On me.

I don't drink.

Okay, well, have a shandy then. But a celebration is in order.

Chieftain beat the spooks. They're supposed to be the professionals,

and we turned one of them into our puppet.

This is great for business.

Gonna get a lot of contracts out of this. A lot.

And you, my friend, can have first dibs.

I think I might have a rest after this.

Okay. Well, let me know. Well done, son.

Who is this? Am I going with him?

Maybe you don't know. You're obviously not in charge.

Miss Standish, I'm here to take you wherever you want to go.

She's not getting out, you're getting in.

What the fuck are you doing?

The operation is over. This isn't part of--

Hands on your head.

Don't.

Hands on head.

Have you lost your fucking mind?

Take his gun. Tie him up.

You move over, please.

- Stop! - No!

Come on! Fucking come on!

The fuck are you playing at?

Perfect. Brilliant.

- Head down. - All right. Fucking hell.

- Yeah? - Yeah.

So am I now an actual hostage?

MI5 has become rather stuck in its ways.

So I'll be bringing in advisers from the private sector who can help

with streamlining and efficiency so that the taxpayer gets value for money.

I see. And am I to assume these people will be from Chieftain?

Having just got the better of your security systems,

I feel that they're more than qualified to tell you where you might be going wrong.

The CEO is an old friend of yours.

I happened to be at school with Sly Monteith,

but I was at school with a lot of people.

Do you have any financial links to the firm?

That's a very impertinent question, Ingrid, and one I'm unable to answer.

As you know, all my financial assets have been placed in a blind trust.

If you have any more questions,

I wonder if I should fish that letter out of the bin

and give Diana Taverner a call.

No, that won't be necessary.

Good. I look forward to a new phase in our relationship...

in which I am the daddy.

Jesus. Elton John live bootlegs.

I'll have to borrow this. Cure for my insomnia.

God, you're ignorant.

The greatest songwriter of the last 50 years, Elton John.

- God, this is boring. - Geez, it's like being out with my kids.

What, you check gambling websites when you're out with your kids?

Looking after their financial security.

By remortgaging?

Ho told me.

I'm remortgaging 'cause we're getting the loft done.

Nothing to do with my gambling.

Not that it's any of your fucking business, by the way.

You're the one that wanted to partner up.

You're hardly selling yourself as a prospect.

- At least I don't get high on the job. - I never get high on the job.

God, you're always here to bring me right fucking down.

- Hey, where you going? Why? - In there.

To see what we can learn about the man that's got Standish.

We don't have a warrant.

We didn't have one for Catherine's flat.

That's different. We knew her, and technically, we shouldn't have done it.

Stay in the car then.

Shut up.

- Come on. - Fuck's sake.

God, you're so good at this.

Can you just wait a second?

Just leave it.

Seriously?

See? Easy.

Just in case you're stupid enough to still be sitting on Donovan's flat,

you can get back to the office. It was a tiger team.

They took Standish to pressure Cartwright to break into the Park.

Shit. Did he do it?

Yep.

Lamb. Catherine was taken by a tiger team.

What, so we staked this place out and broke in for no reason?

Well, at least it got us out of the office.

- We better get back there. - I'm gonna take a piss before we leave.

Make it quick.

I'll take as long as I like, thanks.

If you like listening to women pee, I think there's websites for that.

You need to come and see this.

So what? It's just the planning for the tiger team op.

Knew they were watching us.

There's another wall.

"Grey Books"?

Yeah. MI5 compendium of conspiracy theories.

Yeah, I know what the Grey Books are. Thanks.

But what's this bullshit got to do with Catherine?

- Where are those from? - Donovan's flat.

What are you doing in there? I told you it was a tiger team.

Yeah. Well, we were kind of already in here.

So Sean Donovan's a conspiracy nut with a phase two?

Yeah. Phase two is the Grey Books, MI5 compendium of conspiracy--

Yeah. I know what the Grey Books are.

Right. Well, it looks like he's gonna keep hold of Standish

till he gets a look at them.

Well, document everything and get it to Ho. Right?

And do not let anyone outside of Slough House know about this

until I've worked out how much of a nut bag Donovan is.

- You're fucking mad, you are. - Yep.

Through there.

Stairs.

There's a similarity between you and that other man.

- Is that a coincidence? - Shut up.

Clearly a sore point, which makes me think it's not a coincidence.

I said, "Shut up."

You didn't have to look for the light switch,

so this is your house, isn't it? Your family home.

And that other man must be Ben, so you're either Sarah or Alison.

Stinking pile of dog shit.

Smile.

Let's see what Chieftain make of this.

They'll rain blood and fire on you.

Oh, yeah. Can't wait. Get in.

Sit tight. Wait it out, and it'll be fine.

How long before Chieftain call?

No idea.

Now we've got one of yours and one of MI5's.

If you want them both released unharmed, you need to do exactly what we say.

Are you listening?

Lamb.

Well, you got nerve.

First you turn Slough House into a sorting office, then you stand me up.

Well, they're doing a total security reset. It's mayhem down there.

Yeah, I can see that. What's the fallout?

Remains to be seen. Tearney's with Judd as we speak.

Well, what are you doing? Measuring curtains for her office?

I have learned never to underestimate Dame Ingrid. She is a survivor.

Yeah, she is, and Judd may have crowed too soon.

Tiger team's gone rogue. They won't let Standish go.

Why on earth not? Surely the operation is completed.

Well, I thought they might have already been in touch. They want the Grey Books.

They told you that?

No, kidnapper's wall planner. Name of Sean Donovan.

Well, I haven't heard anything.

And if they were demanding the Grey Books,

I'd know 'cause they've been relocated to the facility under my supervision.

Yeah, which means they're one up from toilet paper.

In return for the heads-up, I would like Cartwright back.

As I'm sure you're aware,

I do not have command of the Dogs right now.

Send him out, Diana, or I'm coming in.

Get up.

Get up!

You know, I'm kinda fine down here, you know?

I'm not gonna ask you again. River, get up.

Whatever issues you have--

That you clearly have, that you're working through--

Maybe you should just talk to someone.

Because based on this, I just-- I don't think violence is making you happy.

Don't know why you're crying, son. You got nothing between your legs.

Yeah, you need to get this out of your system quickly

before Lamb comes to get me.

You think I give a fuck about Lamb?

I kinda do, actually. Yeah.