The Marriage Ref - First Season

You're showing your music videos

To fathers on the carpool at preschool.

It's embarrassing.

Do you think michelle obama would have said,

"you're working too hard. Stop it, please.

Like, you know..."

Please don't compare yourself to president obama.

"you want to be president, you have daughters."

Never. She would be, "absolutely, I believe in you."

Oh, my god, I can't even go there with you.

You're so delusional.

Christopher columbus, albert einstein,

All their spouses,

All their significant others,

I'm sure had been encouraging,

Not demoralizing.

You haven't even heard my latest tracks.

What are the latest?

It's gonna go on for ten more years

Till you're 50?

- No. - And have no hair? And what--

Great, I have no hair.

I go to the gym, and I work out,

And I shave my head, I grow a beard, I flip it.

You know what, erin, successful people have to work.

They have to- but you're not successful!

* *

Now, obviously, she didn't see this coming,

And a lot of women don't.

This is what we like to call a jack-in-the-box moment.

They think they have one husband,

And then,

"I'm krispy now!"

So the issue here is, should kris the businessman

Be busting rhymes or punching the clock?

Panel, what do you think?

I didn't think the video was so bad.

"I crave the hot light, the spotlight...

Of broadway."

No, it's bad. It's bad.

Yeah, I have to agree with jerry.

I think the bottom line

Is that his rhymes isn't dope.

As a 37-year-old white dad rapper, you know,

In the rap world,

You might as well be andy rooney at that point.

Yeah.

"why do they call it

"spitting rhymes?

"I don't spit when I rap,

Least not intentionally."

I think, uh...

My favorite moment of that whole package there

Was when she informed him

That he was never going to be j.Lo,

And he genuinely seemed shocked by that news.

I think what she's saying, though--

I mean, I kind of understand where she's coming from.

I think it's the way that she says it.

Right.

I mean, I totally agree with her,

But I think that she's really kind of like,

You know, bang bang, and he's going...

Crush him. Right.

Yeah, but he's deep into this world.

You know, he needs a little bit of a shake.

He needs a-

I think that's why she's being a little aggressive

Is because this is a--

I mean, look at that picture on the top right there.

I mean, I love the little hair.

I love this doing this with the hair,

Like people are gonna go,

"what kind of crazy dude is this?"

You got two little girls.

This is gonna be the provider here with...?

He's krispy.

And the "nyc."

I love moving the "y" up between the "n" and the "c."

Crazy.

But alec's right.

I mean, she's really tough on him.

At one point, she hits him with what we like to call

A chinese gong moment.

But you're not successful!

Bong!

"I'm not successful?"

That is tough for a man to hear,

Like, right in your face from your wife.

Yeah.

"you're not successful!"

Well, if she's not careful,

He's gonna bust a cap in her.

That's what I like about you, kelly.

You're so street.

See, what I need to know,

Is this an achievable dream for a guy like this?

And at any point in the show where I need a harfact,

I go to our just the facts ma'am,

Nbc news' natalie morales.

So, natalie--

Natalie, how many

Successful white rappers are there?

Well, the music industry considers there to be

Exactly 11 successful white rap acts.

All right, and of the 11 successful rappers

That are white,

Have any of them emerged from the business world?

No.

Were any of them

Already in their late 30s,

Married, with a wife, and two daughters?

No.

Regular carpool shift?

No.

All right, so it could be tough.

I have a question.

Who are the other ten white successful rap acts?

No, he's not in the 11.

No, I'm thinking of eminem.

Oh, eminem and, you know.

Actually, eminem started late.

He started in his late 20s,

And he was already married and had a kid, so...

This guy's methuselah compared to him.

His late 20s.

It's a very slim pool.

He's gonna keep it going. That's what's--

He says if he's still failing at 50,

He's just gonna flip it.

Sad.

Nobody said being a visionary was gonna be easy.

Well, it's not like he's a limbless guy

Who wants to become an olympic skier.

But it's close. It's close.

Very close.

According to natalie, it's very close.

Big dream. He's dreaming big.

He is dreaming big, but it might be too big.

Look at the guys he compares himself to.

This is unsettling for a wife to hear.

Christopher columbus, albert einstein,

All their spouses, all their significant others,

I'm sure had been encouraging.

I love the idea of christopher columbus'

Significant other, that's a...

Yes, mrs. Columbus.

"yeah, well, no, I can't really commit to you.

I'm on the road a lot, I'm exploring, you know?"

Christopher columbus' wife: "you're not successful!"

"you're going around the world...

And what?"

All right, after this break,

We'll find out which way the panel would like me to go,

With the husband or the wife.

Coming up...

But you do think that you couldn't defend--

Is that where I went wrong?

I smell a spin-off.

We're back with the palestrinis.

He wants to rap, she wants to slap him.

You're gonna be a rap star at the age of 37?

I look like I'm 27.

Just trust in me.

In your rapping skills.

Yeah, just say, "I trust you.

I trust you."

I don't trust in your rap career, sorry.

I can't say that.

* can't be stopped *

* till the krispy kreme's on top *

This is so embarrassing.

I don't know. I mean, part of it is okay.

He's trying to make a career,

And he's trying to do something, like, big and crazy.

But he's also just a guy doing something on the side.

I mean, he's wearing ridiculous clothes,

He's spending hours doing something

That'll never amount to anything.

Is this any different from golf, really?

Really.

Who's more delusional?

Him or some guy hacking away

In high grass for six hours?

Yeah, but it's just a thing.

He's a guy doing a thing.

Guys--guys have--

Don't you think guys have to do irrational things

Just as a way of functioning?

Don't you do things that you couldn't defend?

Yes.

Don't you have some sort of activities,

Including this, by the way?

Can you explain...

What reason you really have to be here?

Do you have a hobby?

Do you have a thing that you do?

Do you--

* yo, I have a hobby *

* and you know what it is *