Into The Dark - Second Season

Wait, he sent you to the Ambassador

to grab his golf clubs?

‐ No, no, honey, hang on.

He mentioned he was thinking about playing golf,

but that he left his clubs at the Ambassador.

Excuse me.

It is not enough to accommodate

his whimsical desires.

You have to anticipate his whimsical desires.

That is what it takes

to get a Christmas bonus around here.

But fetching his golf clubs?

‐ It's like everything‐‐ everything is a test.

Jesus!

Heads up, man!

Are you okay?

‐ I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine.

Ted, I know you're trying

to prove yourself to him,

but is it really worth

giving yourself a heart attack?

‐ Honey, I'm here, I gotta go.

Okay, I love you‐‐

‐ Ted, did you just rush off and get my golf clubs?

‐ I did.

My Honzu Japanese Four‐Stars?

Well, you did mention

you were thinking about squeezing in a round, so...

Are you mad?

That's a $75,000 bag of clubs.

Have you any idea what the winter grass will do

to the platinum‐plated fairway driver?

Jesus, Ted.

Even a weekend duffer would know to grab

his Ping G10s, not his Honzu Four‐Stars.

‐ I can zip back right now.

It'll just take a second.

Don't bother.

Gavin, would you pop down to the Ambassador?

I would ask Ted, but I'm afraid

he'd come back with my polo mallet.

‐ Nice try, Ted.

‐ I apologize, sir.

I was just trying to show a little initiative.

Hey, who knows, maybe in the spring,

I could join you at the club

and you can teach me the difference.

("We Wish You a Merry Christmas")

‐ Just tell us.

Do we get a fucking Christmas bonus or not?

Come on.

But no.

These sadists make us sweat it out.

- Here we go. - Well, I wanted

to wish you all merry Christmas,

but I've been told that I must consult Legal first.

It is good to learn what to avoid

by studying the misfortunes of others.

A bit of wisdom from a fellow called

Publilius Syrus in 45 BC.

But that ancient Latin still makes

very sound business sense today.

We've seen a number of private equity companies

fail in this last year,

and the common thinking is

it's something to do with the excessive bonuses

paid out to those at the top.

Well, I'm not going to lie to you,

it's been a tricky year for Falconheart.

So in the spirit of learning

from the mistakes of others,

there will be no end‐of‐year payments

to our executives.

Now, I can't ask our executives

to do something I wouldn't expect

of the entire team.

And so I've decided to suspend all bonuses

to the entire company this year.

We will all bite the bullet together

as any family would.

And someone suggested a jelly of the month club,

but I think you would all prefer

the dignity of shared sacrifice

to some fancy jams.

Am I right?

Now more than ever,

we must abide by the motto of Falconheart Ventures:

"Brave solutions, steadfast commitment."

Happy holidays.

I'm so sorry, sweetheart.

‐ The dignity of shared sacrifice.

Are you fucking kidding me?

At least we could have eaten the goddamn jelly.

We'll figure something out.

Don't get worked up.

Why don't you go outside

and take some deep breaths?

‐ Yeah, you know what?

I should go outside.

Good.

Just don't take this too personally.

I'm sure your boss sees how hard you work

and all those extra hours you put in.

‐ I gotta go do something.

Wait, what do you mean?

Ted? ‐ I love you, sweetheart.

What are you do‐‐

‐ Are you all right, Ted?

‐ I just wanted to wish you a merry Christmas.

And let you know that it's an honor to work for you.

‐ Well, I'm glad you came out here, Ted.

There's something I want to share with you

about some changes coming to the firm.

I'm taking the money we usually spend on bonuses

and I'm using it to create one more high‐level job.

I'm implementing something

called the Opportunity Initiative,

which will give employees

the chance to reach executive status.

Needless to say,

a life‐changing transformation.

‐ Yeah, yeah, I imagine it is.

‐ Kiwi and I are giving a dinner at the house.

Just a few folks from the firm.

I'd like you to be there.

Ring up your wife and see if she'd care to join us.

Yes, thank you, I will.

Ted. ‐ Hey.

Are you sitting down?

Oh, my God.

What did you do?

‐ Put on something nice.

We've been invited to the boss's house.

‐ This is so huge for you.

‐ Maybe.

I mean, you've seen how the guy works.

He probably thinks this will be

a hilarious way to fire me.

‐ Sweetheart, I know this whole thing

with the golf clubs was humiliating,

but you have to get past it.

You are incredible at your job,

and you deserve a promotion.

‐ Honey, promotions don't go to the people

who deserve them.

They go to ass‐kissers like Gavin.

‐ I don't understand. When you first started,

you really believed in yourself.

You didn't used to be so cynical.

‐ Yeah, well, I don't believe

in Santa Claus anymore either.

‐ Why do you keep looking at my earrings?

‐ I just‐‐ ‐ What?

Nothing.

- ‐ It's a holiday party. - I know, I know.

It's just‐‐we're going to Steven Essex's house,

and those just‐‐ they kind of scream,

"I'm from Des Moines."

‐ I bet he's gonna love my earrings.

Wow.

I can see the company is really suffering.

Okay, I'm going to take your cynicism

and keep it in the glove compartment

for the rest of the night.

- And your sarcasm. - Well, now you're asking me

to go in there naked.

‐ They're gonna love naked Ted,

and they're gonna love my earrings.

‐ I don't get why there are no other cars.

Jesus!

You've gotta be kidding me.

‐ Are you okay?

‐ I'm fine.

‐ Ted.

What are you doing here?

‐ Well, I knew wherever you were going,

that's the place to be.

‐ Sarcasm in the glove compartment.

Uh, you guys, this is Missy.

Missy, these guys.

‐ Hello there.

Falconheart's brightest and best have arrived.

I don't understand.

He has the same job as you,

the same salary,

how does he drive a Porsche?

‐ Like an asshole.

Good God, Missy.

I only invited Gavin so I could see

what you'd be wearing.

- Mm! - Oh!

Don't wait up, Gavin.

‐ Hello, my dear.

Are we entertaining on the front lawn tonight, Steve?

Kiwi's got a wild hare up her ass tonight.

Oh, hi, I'm Tatum.

‐ Just give her your coat.

Jesus, I would have thought

you had made drinks by now.

I don't know how he is as a boss,