Family Tree

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Idiot...

LA, baby!

Al and Kitty have invited me over

to pursue the Chadwick bloodline.

And the timing just felt right.

You know, with the breakup

and the-- the redundancy,

it just felt like it was time to, you know,

stop sitting around and waiting for my life to happen.

So...

here I am at LAX,

Los Angeles...

X.

- I don't know what the X-- There he is.

- Tom! - Here, look-- whoa!

- Oh, Tom. - Tom!

- So sorry. - No.

- The traffic. - Are you late? I didn't even notice.

- Great to meet you. - The freeway was a sardine can.

So lovely to meet you. Hi.

- Oh, look. Hey. - Look at what-- look.

- Aw! - I made this today.

That's so sweet, Kitty.

- Yes. Do you like it? - Come on, I got the car right here.

- Great. - Let go.

- Let go. - Okay.

Remember, we're having a BBQ tomorrow.

We're having a barbecue in your honor.

You're gonna meet your relatives.

- Rick Tillman from the Tillmans is coming. - And Julie.

- And Julie. Rick and Julie. - Julie, his girlfriend.

David Chadwick's coming all the way from the Carolinas.

- Oh, my God. - He's on a road trip.

He drove his car across the whole country.

- That's great. - I'm gonna make a big salad.

You're gonna see all your relatives.

- Oh, it's... - Do you like music?

I do, yeah.

- Do you like R&B? - R&B?

Put it on, put it on.

Yeah. Oh, great. Wow.

Check it.

Mm-hmm.

Uh-huh.

How about it? How about it?

Does R&B mean the same thing here?

- Yes, rhythm and blues. - Oh!

It's so beautiful.

Someone's got green fingers.

- That's me. - Is it?

We love this neighborhood.

- It's just perfect. - We just love it, love it, love it.

- Palm trees on your roads. - Yeah.

Here we are.

Ooh!

It's lovely.

Thank you.

This really is quite beautiful, guys.

- Oh, thank you. - All her keen eyes. She did all this.

- No. - I did, I did.

I actually got a book and I read a book

about how to redo a house, and that's how I learned.

Well, it worked. It was a good book.

Well, thank you. Thank you.

And sí casa c'est mi casa.

Well, I think you're trying to say, "Mi casa es su casa."

"Our house is your house" en español.

Oh, yeah. I saw there was loads of Mexicans at the airport.

Yeah, it's... California.

- Yeah. - While you're here, anything you need,

anything you want, you just tell us.

- Thank you. - I grew up in this house.

This was my father's house and there's a lot of--

a lot of great memories in this house.

I can't, for the life of me, remember any of them, but...

So, you wanna see your room?

- I have my own room? - And your own loo.

Stop it.

Well, I'm Al Chadwick

and I was born and raised in Glendale, California.

And I'm a podiatrist, the son of a podiatrist.

I can say I successfully followed in my father's footsteps.

Met a lovely lady some years ago.

Seated to my left here.

I saw her number on a bathroom wall.

She's not that kind of girl and I'm not that kind of guy.

Some prankster put her number there.

But it was kismet. It was serendipity.

We were destined to meet

and we've been in love ever since.

We have. We have.

- This is your suite. - Oh...

Our daughter's away at grad school, so this is all yours.

It's been a while since I've been

in a college girl's bedroom.

- Oh, really? - Hopefully this will be less harrowing.

Well, she won't be back for a while.

Terrific. It's great.

Well, this is embarrassing. So just--

I was fostering a senior citizen basset hound

who had a little bit of a bladder control--

- We've gotta recarpet this. - I know, but in the meantime--

- We'll throw something over it. - Some sand or something.

- We've all been there. - Yeah.

And this is your bathroom.

- Your very own. - Sweet.

That's great, actually.

That's about to see some serious action.

Oh. Well, it's all yours.

And I am gonna get dinner started.

What would you like to drink?

Uh, I'll have a lager. That'd be great.

Oh, that's a beer.

Oh, a beer. Yeah.

Now, it's cold. Do you mind?

Shall I heat it up for you?

No, that'd be fine.

- Cold works-- - Cold's okay? Okay.

- Cold works well. - Lager. Lager.

Lager. That's close enough.

- Thank you. - Okay.

Oi.

- Hello. - Tommy...

- it's me. - Hey, Pete.

Hey! How are you?

- I'm in America! - Yay!

You're in America!

- What's a bear's favorite pasta? - What?

Oh, shit-- I don't know, Pete.

What's a bear's favorite pasta?

- Tagliatelle. - What?

Teddy! Tagliateddy.

Oh-- tagliateddy, not tag--

you all right?

I'm great.

I mean, I'm a bit jet-lagged, but I'm all right.

What time is it there?

Uh... I'm still on old time--

wait, what time is it-- it's really late there.

It's 3:00 in the morning here.

- Where are you? - I'm at work.

I've been up all night.

I've been helping the zebu give birth

to a little baby zebu.

It came out of its mom's... front one.

Yeah, that's how that works.

Any-- listen,

- I can't wait to see you. - You too.

It's gonna be amazing.

Yeah, I'm looking forward to seeing you, man.

All right, buddy.

Love you!

- Love-- - Bye!

Yeah.

Oh-- toilet.

"I'm looking forward to meeting Pete."

Yes, that's gonna be fun.

I'm excited that Pete is coming to visit.

I'm a little worried how Kitty will deal with him.

Pete's great.

But when he used to come and visit

when I was living in Ireland with my mom,

he-- he would insist on sleeping naked.

Which is fine when you're at home.

But when you're camping

or sleeping on your friend's mother's couch,

it's a little-- it's different.

So this would be

my great-great- grandfather Charles.

- Yes. - And this chirpy little chiquita

- is his wife Rebecca. - Rebecca and Charles.

Yeah, this would be a brother of your great-grandfather Edward.

Edward. So this would be my great-granduncle.

That's the one.

And here he is in his military garb

during the Civil War, but there's a button missing.

And I found a couple of buttons in--

in Victoria's box.

I don't know what that one is for,

but this one looks like it's a match.

- Isn't that amazing? - Let me look at--

The British are coming! The British are coming!

There he is!

- Hey. - Sorry, my bagpipes are in the shop.

Your Majesty, I beg your indulgence.

- Enter, sir. - Mike.

- Hello. - How are ya, Al?

- Very good, Michael. - Seen anything mysterious lately

- you want to report? - Just now I did.

- Hi, I'm Mike. - Hello.