Spanish Masala (സ്പാനിഷ് മസാല)

SPANlSH MASALA

16 years ago...in Delhi

The Spanish Consulate...a celebration

Sir is drinking a little more Than his usual quota today

l think he is feeling sad to return to Spain

l don't think so

Will anyone fell sad to go back to one's own home?

lt's not that

Wasn't it on one such birthday His wife left him for good?

No, if the wife left for good One will only be happy

ls it because he has retired From post of ambassador...

...and worried that he is now jobless?

- Look here - Hmm?

When you are in Spain looking after that kid

Don't forget to see to my VlSA okay?

ls he the darling little baby of the moon

Or the little one of the beautiful lotus flower

ls he the sweet nectarwithin the flower

Or the soothing rays of the full moon

ls he the tender new vine of the coral flower

Or the sweet prattle of little parrots

ls he the graceful dance of peacocks

Or the sweet notes of the singing nightingale

Next day at a government school in Kerala

Twinkle twinkle... Yes continue

Twinkle, twinkle... Come on recite the rest of it

Twinkle, twinkle Christmas star

You are an expert in buffoonery And being a smart alec in class

But a complete zero in studies

lt's such a pity you are not able To recite even a nursery rhyme

l do not want to learn English lt is full of confusions master

Do l see a Herman Gundert? What is wrong in learning English?

Put and But spell the same But are they not pronounced differently?

Knife is pronounced ''nife'' Why leave the K out of it?

K is silent in that word

Then why is it put there Can you not leave it alone?

Leave all that

Take Machine which ought to be pronounced Ma chi nay

Write something And pronounce it differently

How am l to learn all that?

Do l not learn our Malayalam perfectly? ls that not enough master?

Charlie English is an international language

We are forced to learn it Out of necessity

Not only English, it's good for kids to learn different languages

lf so, do you know Kannada Which is just next door to our Kerala?

Master you don't even know Tamil Which is also just next to our state

You are asking me to learn English that lies across the 7 seas

l will learn only Malayalam Learning English is out of question

You are talking impertinently Get out

This hater of English language Had to stop his studies

This lover of his mother tongue ls the hero of our story

Finding faults and justifying his lack abilities

He represents an average Malayali

But a Malayali always shows spunk When it comes to living...

...in unknown lands And among unknown people

Oh you have come!

As years passed fate presented a similar situation to our hero too

16 years later The city of Madrid in Spain

As seven colours swing a veil With sugary smile on mirror like cheeks

Laughing at the play put up by

- Did you see that Charlie anywhere? - Must be there somewhere

Where is that Charlie? lt's his mimicry item after the next 2 songs

- He was here just now - And?

lt started itching badly

After wearing Jose Prakash's gown So l soothed his itch by scratching

Look if he is there somewhere

Charlie

Welcome Mr. team manager You are invited into my den of bandits

Very good my son! You are doing a good job scratching

What the hell are you up to?

Jose Prakash asked me to scratch his back

Who?!

- Charlie asked me to scratch his back - Out! Get out

Will not allow me to be useful!

Hullo Mr. Team manager

You have to instruct them To wash this gown at least once in 6 months

Otherwise this team manager Will become food for my pet Alligator

By the way Mr.Viji D'cruz Ravi Paerera lf you do not listen to me

You will soon hearthe toll of death bells

- Shut up! lt's your item afterthat song - l see

- Hope you remember all l have told you - Sure!

After your performance Just disappear from here

Don't wait to bid goodbyes Not even to me

Will it be dangerous Ravi'aetta?

Dude! l have dealt with 4 people like this ln another country without a job VlSA

Now 3 of them are in good positions

What about the 4th one?

He is in jail

Don't scare me Ravi'aetta

Well you have to show some guts in such situations

l understand your situation That's why l am aiding you in all this

No for money alone

Of course! Don't l know that!

Are you sure my job here is confirmed?

l have arranged for all that

You don't know any other language Otherthan Malayalam, isn't it?

l go wrong in Malayalam itself Just imagine my plight with other languages

- They speak Spanish here - ls that so?

- Do you speak it? - No

l am hearing the name of such a tongue For the first time

Since l do not know any language lt is of no consequence to me

l will not understand what they say

Neither will they follow me, so what's the problem

You have to keep these 3 papers As safe as your passport

The first paper tells you Your destination in Spanish language

l have marked it specifically

Show it to a taxi driver He will drop you there

You have to pay him 5 euro from this

This is the address of the foreigner You are supposed to meet

Anyone will help you find this house

After you reach the house You have to hand this letterto him

He will immediately confirm yourjob

Please come here for a moment

l will come you go ahead

Lord! Please guard me from getting lost in Spain

Preselo street? Get in

Enthiran? ls he a Tamilian by any chance?

Thank you!

Thank you!

Okay fine!

Gracias? Did he mean thanks?

Or was it grass?

Did he say something in contempt For giving just 5 Euros?

Oh doesn't matter As long as no one heard!

lt's 9 P.M and still like broad daylight The sun is working overtime here

Now l do not need this any more So let it stay here

Couldn't he have written this in Malayalam?

Who shall l ask this address to?

Don't go please

Stop! Oh God!

Good lord!

YOU are sitting inside the Church And making me desperate is it?

l will show you!

Please don't forsake me God!

How do l get hold of it now? There is neither stick nor rod here

That traitor has not written any address here!

What a tragedy God!

Policia!

lf they take me away and beat me up l wouldn't be able to even explain

Oh mother!

What have you dealt me with my good Lord!

Money? Did he think l was a beggar?

Chey! What a shame!

How can l take that?

Hey don't go! Stop!

The address is having a bath Go and take it

Oh Jesus! lt's gone!

This address-less letter What can l do with it!

Angel!

Look! There's an elephant ln those clouds

Sometimes angels appear in clouds To show you a way out

Sometimes it closes your path ln the form of Satan

These early morning habits are so troublesome

What will l do now To attend to natures calls

lt's getting worse

lf it was back home Anybody's fields would have been enough

Here it's so neat and tidy Why do they live like this

l needed a toilet can you help?

To go and relieve myself like this

Can you not speak Something l can understand?

Don't you understand anything l say

Just you wait! Come to lndia to play football

No l should not do that! l cannot run even

l should have at least worn a diaper When l started out from lndia

Don't they have a bus stand Railway station or any public place?

The cabin of a telephone booth would have been enough

Oh this should do

Oh goodness! Smells just like Kochi

When l found a place for my ass The vehicles seem endless, God!

ls this lndian restaurant?

Why the delay in coming here?

Were you waiting for me?

My beloved, to come to me

Hullo brother Let me take my dhoti out

Hullo brother Where the hell is it?

Who is this? Kala Niketan Charlie?

Charlie!

Don't press too hard lt will be too unpleasant

What a surprise! Yesterdays program was superb

l wanted a snap with you and came to the green room

But you'd just disappeared

-Anyway, God has sent you to me - No! Don't!

- l need to urgently go to a toilet - First of all let me take a photo

Will anyone snap a picture of someone in a toilet?

Not in the toilet Here right now!

Now can you please show me Where the toilet is?

Now one with us together

Now will you please show me the toilet

l am a big fan of you Charlie

Please mimic that actor lnnocent please?

l will do whatever you ask me to After my visit to the toilet

The toilet is there Please do it for me?

- Toilet? - Mimic first

Oh mother! Why are you torturing me like this?

l am losing control okay?

You rascal! Playing the fiddle while Rome is burning

Your grandmother's...is this enough?

That was excellent!

Now mimic Suresh Gopi

Oh no! Not him, l cannot That needs a little stress