Ring Ring

We're gonna rot in jail forever! Fuck!

So we went upstairs to kill one...

One. Which we did. All right? We did that.

Do not think about...

And yeah, I didn't think about...

He might come home!

I mean, you just casually walked upstairs

and tried to poison two innocent boys...

Because you're stomping around

and they think we're running a daycare!

-Fuck you! -

-Stop! -

[arguing on TV, voices garbled, echoing]

- -

JT Renovations. Please hold.

- - JT Renovations.

We also renovate kitchens...

[telephone solicitors reciting sales pitches]

Great, we'll put you down for three.

Uh-huh. Thank you so much. I got another one.

Bedrooms, bathrooms, dungeons, you name it.

Whatever you need.

Let me tell you about a special promotion. Hello?

I will go fuck myself, thank you.

Yo, take nothing personal.

Oh, tight, dude, you're trying to get fired?

Cool.

All right, this is where all the magic happens.

The main floor, the headquarters.

Let's say hi to, um, Will and Martin.

What's up, guys? How you doing?

Excellent decorations. Sweet office.

-Oh, sweet air. - Let's, uh...

let's keep moving.

Hi, is this Rick?

Hi, Rick, this is Martin from JT Renov--

Excuse me?

What the fuck did you just say to me, you little fuck boy?

Listen here, Rick, I got your address right in front of me, dawg.

Why don't I come to your house and skull-fuck your wife until she loves me?

How would you like that? I'll adopt your children and make them my own.

Fuck you, fuck you!

I thought you said don't take it personal.

Oh, I didn't take that personal.

No. I'm just gonna skull-fuck his wife and raise his children.

Cheap-ass Daniels.

Willie?

Hey, Jason.

How's the tour with the newbies going?

Have you even seen the numbers the past month?

We're running on fumes. No!

Just keeps hiring more idiots to replace the other idiots.

Hey.

- Hey. -Jesus, where did you come from?

I'm a ninja.

Fuck, I need a cigarette. You guys want one?

I can't, they give me the squirts.

Well, thank you for sharing that, Jason.

Will?

-Yeah. -Come on.

-That was gross. -Be careful.

They give you the squirts. Hey listen, Saturday night.

I'm doing a party. It's a Halloween party.

It's gonna be huge! Tell it to your friends.

I'm going to... I just did.

-Kelly? -Yeah.

Nice day today, huh?

Sorry, what?

I said, "Nice day today, huh?"

Oh, yeah. I guess.

How's it going?

Fine.

You go to school around here?

I bet a lot of guys hit on you at school, huh?

When everything is said and done,

I'll have... $12 left over.

We could just man up and ask Daniels for higher commission.

Amber, he won't even replace the coffee pot.

The coffee pot, Amber.

Point made.

OK.

Hey, you can still give me a ride to work tomorrow again, right?

When are you going to get your car back?

When are you going to start buying your own weed?

Oh, great, it was so nice to speak with you, uh...

Thanks so much for your business.

You have a good day.

Yes!

Where's everyone going?

Check your email. Daniels is calling a floor meeting.

- - Shh!

You all know this year has been less than moderate.

The result had nothing to do with your work ethic.

The company is going to be taking a new direction.

Unfortunately that does mean closing down both branches in our district.

- -Listen. I commend all of you,

all of you, for the time you've given to the firm

and I wish you all the best of luck.

So we'll finish out this week

with the payroll ending on Friday.

-That's it. - He just fired us.

- I think so. - Oh, no!

That's it!

It's always something.

This is awful, what am I gonna do?

- -

- Why do you do that? - Do what?

What? You always compare our kids to Ryan and Bethann's.

- No, I don't. - You just did it.

I just did it in that situation because I just think it's a good idea

if Billy and Asher would play some kind of sport.

Our kids do play sports. They play softball and they hate it, OK?

-Well-- -And it's a girly sport.

It's not a girly sport, it's the same thing as baseball, it's just the ball is soft.

It's not even soft, it's just bigger...

I know the shape of the ball, Marty!

- -I go to the games, you don't.

Softball is a good thing for them to mingle with other children.

Sir, could you please turn the music down?

I'm trying to have a discussion with my husband.

Someone's getting one star.

Great. You know what, I'm sorry.

Don't ever get married, and if you do,

don't get married to this guy 'cause he's an ass--

Leave the driver out of this. Don't bring my relationship--

We're in his car! Leave him out of it?

Pay for a therapist, don't use the ride driver as our therapist!

You are not the man I married.

Hundred bucks says Daniels has a nice comfy chair

and comfy desk just waiting for him at the new branch.

You think they care about us? Hell no.

They don't care if we have student loans,

rent to pay, they don't give a shit.

What was that that Daniels said again?

"I commend you

on your hard work; unfortunately,

we're a piece of shit company--"

Listen, Amber...

I'm just gonna say... this is making my balls tingle,

but it's highly illegal.

The company stores a list of every client

we've done business with, right?

-OK. -If I were able to get

a copy of the list,

we could technically use those clients ourselves.

I mean, we already have the manufacturer's contacts and they don't care

where the business is coming from, just as long as they're getting paid.

We just need to set up an LLC for the invoice.

Yeah, but then we would need to get into Daniels' computer

and for that we would need his password, so...

- -

-No! -What?

Nothing. Fuck.

I gotta go.

I just thought of something.

Let's just talk about this later.

Hey, Amber...

everything's gonna be all right.

That wasn't the worst part, though.

It wasn't even the fact that I got arrested

for possession of crack and heroin.

The worst part wasn't even that the judge gave me two to three years.

The worst part was that when I crashed through the table,

I killed my neighbor's dog.

I guess they'd been sleeping underneath there.

It's one of those little furry terrier types.

Hell...

I feel bad because it was the only dog she had, right?

You know, she loved that thing.

It hadn't done anything to anybody, you know?

Just goes to show you that

it's usually the most innocent ones

that hurt the worst, right?

Well, that was 321 days ago.

I was sober for 320 days.

Yeah.

Jessica, right?

Ta-da!

Mm.

How's your shoulder been?

Been worse this week. They put me in stocking.

You know how heavy those boxes are?

But, you know, everything's a give and take.

-You still upset about the car? -Nah, I'm good.

I mean, Will's helping me out, so...

That Will is a great boy. You need more friends like him.

Um, by the way, I forgot to tell you,

I got some really great leads this week, so this is for you.

No, honey.

We'll be OK.

We'll be OK.

I promise.

-Hey. - Hey. So I was thinking about the plan,

and it's a cool idea, but it's probably an A1, probably A2 felony.

Are you sure we should do this?

Yeah, let's do it.

It's best if we wait till lunch.

Nine times out of ten, Daniels orders from the deli

across the street; usually preorders it

so it won't take him long to leave and come back.