The Adventures of Philibert, Captain Virgin

THE ADVENTURES OF PHILIBERT

Coast of Brittany 1550.

One! Two!

And one and two!

One! Two! And one and two!

Smoother!

And spin around!

Livelier!

Good!

Is Philibert a dancing girl now?

Not dance. Gentleman's exercise.

A gentleman here in Faouët? News to me!

Don't listen, Philibert!

Back to work!

Play, Mirbille!

Come taste my rod instead,

Sir Philibert de Faouët!

My pleasure!

Philibert,

when you decide to practice, come fetch me!

Come, Mirbille.

I felt your rod and found it limp!

En garde!

Fight, Tugduall!

Come now, fight!

Arzhul, what's the rush?

So... what about a girl?

Where is she?

Right here!

I have hay in my eye.

All your thrashing about made a mess of me.

There's nothing, Jeannick.

Maybe you're looking in the wrong place?

Fill me with joy, Philibert!

No, Jeannick.

I won't tell anyone our secret.

A smidgeon of joy.

I cannot.

A tiny bit.

Out of charity.

Father's dying! Father's dying!

Father!

- Father! - Philibert...

The end is near.

- Father... - Philibert...

I must tell you

a secret.

I am not your father.

But Father...

And my father?

He is dead.

Father...

Your real name is not...

Philibert Le Fillanchiaux.

No?

You're not the son of

an artichoke farmer.

No!

You were born...

Count...

Bérendourt de Saint-Avoise.

That's your real name.

Count...

Bérendourt de...

Saint-Avoise?

And my first name?

Eudes.

I like it! Because Philibert is a little...

But Philibert is better.

Twenty years ago,

I was coming back from a fair in Nevers.

I was still several days from Faouët.

All of a sudden a man jumped onto the road.

He handed me a basket.

And inside the basket... was you.

He bade me to raise you

like my own son.

He said to flee.

Bless you, good man.

His name was

Fulgence...

Bérendourt de Saint-Avoise.

Your father.

Bless you, good man.

I turned around.

Before my eyes I saw the poor man killed.

Bless you, good man.

Seek revenge, Philibert.

Against whom?

- Who was his murderer? - The Count d'Artois.

A vile wretch from Burgundy.

Just when he was giving

your poor father the final blow,

I saw that he had

a birthmark

on his neck.

A birthmark

shaped like a rose...

Father?

Get going, boy.

Rise to your rank. Avenge your father.

Go to Burgundy, now.

But Ma...

I'm not your mother either.

Yes.

- And my mother? - She died in childbirth.

Mother...

Mother... Madame...

What about my lessons? Riding in 10 minutes. Ethics at 5.

Forget your lessons.

Forget them? You insisted on them!

Exercise with Flaviolles the Knobby and Mirbille.

Catechism every morning.

Bagpipes on Monday.

Now.

Tights...

I'll take red. It goes with everything.

Green, for everyday outings.

Yellow...

Yellow always comes in handy.

I have something to say.

Go on, Ornave.

Here goes.

I'm not your brother.

You were always Father's favorite.

While I wasted my youth on artichokes,

you were dancing, cavorting

strutting about.

As a kid, I felt rejected.

I even thought I was adopted.

Now that the truth's out,

I need to rebuild myself.

Farewell, Philibert.

By the way,

this is not your room.

Farewell, Ornave.

I was ready to succeed my father...

Monsieur Le Fillanchiaux.

I was sure I'd end up in artichokes.

My life's over.

God made you Count Bérendourt de Saint-Avoise.

By His grace you'll become.

Count Bérendourt de Saint-Avoise again.

You believe in Him?

I believe in God!

Almighty Father who made Heaven and Earth.

You love Him?

More than myself!

And so He shall help you.

He'll guide you along the way.

Your education is complete. You're ready.

Ready to go seek revenge.

Come...

Count Bérendourt de Saint-Avoise.

You're still Flaviolles?

Yes, Flaviolles the Knobby.

Because everything's topsy-turvy.

Fare the well, Faouët.

Come back soon, Philibert.

Have sweet revenge.

And remember what I taught you. It will be a great help now.

God keep you!

He shall.

For my cause is noble.

And He is love.

We're off, Triskell!

Vengeance shall be mine!

The Count de Saint-Avoise rode his vengeance far.

The Count de Saint-Avoise rode his vengeance far.

To avenge his father's murder, efface the family scar.

His courage is immense, treacherous his foes!

A villain from Burgundy with a birthmark like a rose!

Trouble, wee one?

I fell.

My ankle hurts like hell!

- I'll draw blood. - I'll draw yours!

Your purse, stripling.

Or pay with your life!

No, with yours!

En garde!

Remember, villainy never pays!

Fear not, wee one. The rascal's gone.

Zounds! Another scoundrel!

So be it!

Don't kill me!

I'm just a wee one. Don't kill me.

Make me your valet.

By Jove! Who'd want a valet like you?

Spineless, sly and short.

And sporting hideous pants!

Yours are ridiculous.

Ridiculous?

Mine are technical attire. Light and flexible for combat.

Give me one good reason to hire you.

I have none.

So kill me.

Kill me...

Kill me!

So be it. You're hired.

But one false move and you're dead.