Little Demon

Divina virtute, in infernum detrude!

Divina virtute, in infernum detrude!

Oh, God, please save our boy!

Cunning serpent, you shall no more

- dare deceive... - Dare deceive the human race.

Boring me over here, Father Cleare.

Get out of him, you son of a bitch!

Now!

Daddy?

Aw, that's actually kind of sweet.

Well, that's it, possession 101.

- Okay, you ready? - I think so.

When I'm inside, which button do I press

to make him kiss the priest?

Just visualize yourself going into him,

then bend your knees, clench your butt cheeks,

open your mouth, and whoosh.

Go on. You got this.

All right. Let's rock this possesh!

Get inside that little boy.

We can start over.

We can forgive?

Hello? Is... can anyone hear me?

Oh, I'm doing it.

Pee pee poo poo.

The serpent has returned!

I'll kill you, you bastard!

Okay, bye!

You little motherfucker!

- Die, you piece of shit. - Ow! Daddy, stop.

The um... The demon must be in me now.

Whoo! That kid smelled like a garbage truck,

but I loved it.

It takes demons years to mimic a human's voice.

You did it on your first try.

I want to possess a baby horse

when it's being birthed.

- You could. - Or a movie star

and do a car chase scene. Why not?

Or a sex scene with Regé-Jean Page.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

I know this shit's a rush, but you gotta pace yourself.

Come on, let's go home.

- Step on me. - Okay.

You go, girl!

Thank you, thank you. You're too much.

She's a natural.

Aw, come on.

Custody weekend's over already?

Awesome time as always, Daddy-o.

And next time, I'll teach you how to turn stuff into spiders.

Pregnant spiders!

- Bye, human girl. - Bye. Goodbye, now.

Couple more visitations with my girl,

and she'll be begging to ditch her mom to live with me.

Then zip, zap, zop, I'll be back on top, baby.

Let's get this party started.

Oh, shit.

Thought it was gonna be balloons.

Well, don't let the weapons go to waste.

Start killing each other.

Hey, tell the foreman if his son looks at me again,

I will shoot him with my nail gun.

When I yell fart, you yell face!

- Fart! - Face!

- Fart! - Face!

- Pee pee poo poo. - Now, this is content.

- Okay? Looks great. - Ugh, God.

See you tomorrow, Bill. It's fun!

Christina! Dinner! Now!

Well, someone's extra vinegary today.

I control your bowel movements, Erwin.

- Keep making that fucking salad. - Ooh.

Chrissy's weekend with her father

is getting to you, I see.

Look what he's got her doing.

I-it's devil in "The Exorcist" shit.

He's turning my daughter into an evil cliché.

And you're turning into a cliché

- of a jealous ex. - Chrissy!

I will not say it again!

Get back in your vacant corpse now!

Hey, Laur, don't you just love it?

Whoo! Makes you work up a sweat.

I might go for a jog as a deer later.

Animals are more difficult, but Dad says I'm a natural.

- You look thirsty. - Congrats, honey.

Soon you'll be butchering the clergy.

Just because I'm having fun with Dad doesn't mean

you have to lash out. Don't be jelly.

I'm looking out, honey.

I know your dad's endgame...

To win you over so he can use your power

to turn the universe into his hellscape.

Duh. What you don't get is I'm actually using him.

I know exactly what I'm doing.

Oh, Jesus Christ, Chrissy. No, you don't.

You have evil in your DNA.

Hey, come on, you're not that bad.

You keep doing what you're doing,

that evil will spread in you

and the normal life you said you wanted...

Friends, school, homecoming, sleepovers... gone.

You'll be a soulless shell of a human and become...

Honestly, like, a successful CEO in all likelihood.

So, what, I should just suppress

an entire side of myself?

You're not Billy Elliot. You're the Antichrist.

Don't suppress.

Be more conscious of your choices.

Maybe use your powers to do some good.

I just wanted to make the mailman fart!

That went well.

No tests today.

And if you see Chrissy,

tell her that she has a really cool,

normal-sized forehead.

That's what I want.

And, uh, pee pee poo poo.

"Pee pee poo poo" is my catchphrase.

That could be our generation's "Got Milk?"

So what's it feel like being in someone?

Each body's different.

Right now it's acid reflux and a deep longing

for someone named Pablo.

Mm. Hmm.

Like, how is this evil, you know?

Don't you think it's shady

to secretly enter people's bodies

without their consent?

No, I'm just entering them real quick.

- Right, sure... - I mean,

I'm just having fun with people inside them.

No... well, it's not like they'll remember it.

Oh, God, I feel like an asshole.

So what should I do?

Should I stop using possession all together?

Or, ugh, maybe my mom has a point

about using it for good?

I mean, if you're possessing people

for moral reasons,

like to help them make better choices,

- that would be... - Then I can possess my cake

and eat it too.

Can you actually possess a cake?

Don't you fucking touch that!

No gluten-free options? You're a fascist.

I'll rip out your heart and make you eat it.

- Oh, shit. Oh, no! - Yeah, get him!

Ooh.

It was always gonna end this way.

Now's your chance.

Get that cake!

Fight! Fight! Fight!

Wait, wait, wait!

Uh, I, uh...

I-I-I don't dislike your cooking.

It's me that I dislike.

Way past that point, asshole.

What the fuck just happened?

I-I'm sorry for taking

your criticism personally.

This is all I have in my life.

I love you. Aw.

What the fu...

Yes, and I love you too.

Ew.

Yes, and, uh, I'm your mother.

Yes, and now everything makes sense.

Let's never fight again, Mommy.

Oh, okay.

- Pee pee... - Poo poo.

What the fuck is wrong with everybody here?

Holy shit. That actually felt great.

You're kind of like a superhero.

Nah, I'm just your friendly, neighborhood Antichrist.

Come back here. I want to chop you up.

- You'll never catch me! - Okay, Snake with Arms,

any word yet from Jerrup and The Cootie Realm

swearing fealty to me?

Are you shittin' me?

I'm about to bring the hammer down

on time and space,

and they're dragging their feet

on kissing my ass?

All right.

Let's head over there and boil their firstborns alive.

Ta-da!

Hi.

Look who's here. As mode us.

Yes! The Grand Demon of Possessión.

Dark Lord of Ulrich.

- King of all the... - King douche of Crapstown.

Population, you.

Roasted.

This guy used to work for me.

Uh, I possessed hundreds of thousands of humans

in service of him, okay,

inciting a myriad of fratricides, holocausts...

Why are you here, Azzy?