black-ish

So, this is why you took a sick day from work...

To make a slide show?

Do you know how hard it is to choose just the right song?

You know, I tried it at first with "I'll Make Love to You."

It felt okay over Obama

but got a little weird over Sasha and Malia.

Yeah.

That's where it got weird.

Okay.

All right, then.

She doesn't get it.

With Obama leaving office, it's made me think.

Obama was more than just the first black president.

He was the culmination of years of struggle

to make sure our votes counted.

1869... Congress passes the 15th Amendment,

giving black men the right to vote.

1896... Louisiana passes the Grandfather Clause

to keep former slaves and their descendants from voting.

Registered black voters drop from 44% to 4%.

Through the 1940s, poll taxes, literacy tests,

and violent threats prevent blacks from voting.

1964... the 24th Amendment makes poll tax illegal,

and over 250,000 new black voters are registered.

2008... Obama.

2011... three states pass restrictive photo I.D. laws

to try to stop us from voting again.

Where we are is so tenuous

and can be so easily taken away.

That's why this current election is so important.

No, not this one.

This one.

Junior is running for student body president

against this guy.

It may seem a little crazy

that I'm investing real time into a high-school election,

but the world's losing one black president.

And I want to make sure to give it another.

The future of our entire race rests on Junior.

Okay, which one's more believable?

This one? This one?

One more time. This one? This one?

This one? This one?

Yep, this is my guy, and getting him elected

was going to be harder than tricking America

into putting a black man in the White House... twice.

Why aren't you answering?

Why do we keep getting this magazine Black Braids?

I don't know. Why are you asking me?

Uh...

Okay, it's mine.

Too damn old to be ashamed of my proclivities.

Yeah. Okay.

Keep an eye out for Tax Evader.

It won't have my name on it, for obvious reasons.

Ooh, ballots came today.

- Huh. - What?

- They changed our polling place. - Of course they did.

They want to make it harder for us to find them.

That there's the reason I don't vote in the first place.

You're kidding, right?

You vote. You have to vote.

Of course you vote.

You don't vote, do you?

Why should I? The election's rigged.

He's right. Why else you think Bernie isn't the candidate?

Because Hillary got more votes.

- Or did she? - She did.

Maybe that's just what they want you to believe.

- Because it's the truth. - Whose truth?

- I'm not doing this with you. - And I'm not voting this year.

What's wrong with you? We weren't raised that way.

We were raised to boycott non-hemp fibers

and use leeches as Band-Aids,

so that argument's not great.

Sideshow Bob here's got a point, Rainbow.

The system is broken.

No, you're broken.

And you are setting a bad example for my son.

No, they're right.

- They're rigging the vote at school. - What are you talking about?

We're "supposedly" voting for a new class pet.

They say it's between a parrot, a snake, and a guinea pig.

But who are they kidding?

They're not gonna let us get something cool like a snake.

Damn right, 'cause that's a free-thinking animal.

And it's not like they want our vote anyway.

They're having it during lunch on chicken stars day.

Yeah, no one's gonna show up for that.

- Classic voter suppression. - Okay.

You need to suppress your face.

So aggressive.

Ooh, is that the new Black Braids?

All right, guys, I'm gonna need all hands on deck for this campaign.

- Zoey, public liaison. - Nope.

Copy that. Jack, you are on snack duty.

- Huh? - Uh... never mind.

Diane, accounts manager.

I will do everything in my power

to make sure your candidate loses.

You know, I appreciate your candor,

but I'm gonna need that button back.

Oh, let me see this, Junior.

"A new day with Andre." Okay.

"Friend to some, acquaintance to many,

unknown to most."

- Huh. - Don't worry.

I've been preparing for this day since I started high school.

If elected, I would be the most qualified president ever.

- Mm-hmm? - Perfect attendance,

stellar grades, every committee allowable,

and I hit every janitor retirement party.

Why?

You sound like my opponent.

There are three keys to the perfect election-day outfit...

Breathability, walkability, sensuability.

We didn't fight for civil liberties

so Grandma could vote in sweat pants.

Who are you voting for?

Whoever the Democrat is, baby.

Without knowing where they stand on any issue? Seems ignorant.

Would it seem ignorant if I slapped the taste out of your mouth?

Oh, sweetie. Oh, sweetie, I'm so sorry.

Sometimes Grandma forgets she's been saved.

Listen, precious. Listen.

Ignorance is being unaware of the dangers of the kitten heel.

Oh! Oh! Oh!

No!

No! Not Buchanan!

90% of Buchanan votes

were because the elderly picked the wrong shoe.

Your priorities seem off.

God, Idris, alimony.

My priorities are just fine, darling.

Lord, why is this child testing me today?

Zoey, guess who I saw at the store.

- No. - Cara's mom.

She said Cara got early admission into Princeton.

- That's incredible. - Well, not really.

Cara looks like somebody who needs to be smart.

Okay, you know what? Say what you want to say.

She's going to Princeton.

Hey, how is your application coming?

You want to bounce any essay ideas off your mom?

I mean, I know I'm a doctor, but I'm also kind of a wordsmith.

You know, God gaveth with both hands.

I'll be fine, Mom.

I have a 3.6.

3.6?

Pssht. Those are army grades.

Excuse me. I had a 3.6, and I went to Brown.

Yeah, back when Coke was a dime.

Good luck, soldier.

Everyone needs to see this.

We can get him a third term.

- That's what I'm talking about. - Mm-hmm.

I will pay my own money to take this around the country.

Or we could just put it on YouTube.

I kind of wanted to see America.

Okay. M-Maybe we can take it to the YouTube office.

Is it in America?

- Yeah. - Okay, cool. I'm cool with that.

Hey, what are you guys watching?

Dre's Obama memorial.

Did he die?

- No. - Oh.

He's just leaving office.

So he can go and die?

His term is over.

Oh. You mean, his... his life term?

What is your deal with Barack?

My deal is that there are thousands of children out there

who have never had a white president.

How are they gonna know that they have opportunities?

This is crazy.

Barack Obama is the best president we've ever had.

Uh, yeah,

if Reaganomics never took root

and saved the western world from living in caves.

Fact.

Boom. You both know my son Connor.

Never seen him before in my life.

Oh, I'm sorry. You probably know him as the New Haven Ripper.

Excuse me?

It's just a silly name that the "victims" gave my baby boy

for crimes they couldn't prove

that he was aware that he had committed.

Anywho Obama's a bad guy.

Yeah, you want to talk about strangling,

just look at what he's done to our economy.

Who's talking about strangling?

We're not... per the settlement with the families.

This is exactly what I'm talking about.

As soon as Barack leaves office,

they're gonna forget all the good he's done.

Well, I'm not gonna forget that Barack Hussein Obama

is a foreign-born Muslim,

and he also let Bin Laden sleep in the Lincoln Bedroom.

Okay, Connie, now, that's just home talk,

- but, yes, fact. - Yeah, right?