The Mindy Project

Previously on "The Mindy Project"...

- Dad, that's it. - We'll take it.

- You don't want to get married? - I don't.

Karen, it would seriously rule if you would be my wife.

- Yes! - Oh!

You are remarkable in every way,

and you shouldn't be with somebody who doesn't appreciate that.

I'm not ready to get married.

I got cold feet and snuck out.

What're you doing here?

I want to get married. To you.

By now you know that I love romantic comedies,

and why wouldn't I?

I was a nerdy Indian kid

growing up in Concord, Massachusetts,

AKA Snooze Town, USA.

Thanks to asthma and corrective shoes,

I didn't have much adventure in my own life,

but at least I could still always watch

two beautiful white people fall in love

against the odds.

But the real reason I love

romantic comedies?

They always end the same way.

Marriage. Marriage. Marriage.

And then I got married.

Morning. I'm making your favorite food.

A pile of something.

I wish I could stay, but I'm actually headed to spin,

and if I don't get there early, bike 69 gets taken,

and then what's the point?

Spin class? Really?

'Cause the last time you worked out,

you coughed up blood like you were a character

dying in an opera.

Yeah, I'm not proud of that,

but now that I'm married,

I thought it'd be nice to be a little,

I don't know, more heart healthy.

Plus, I love how in spin,

it's easy to get away with farting,

as long as you're not near the candles.

You know, Leo's with his dad this week,

and Lindsay's with her mom.

I was thinking, you and I, we could hang out,

open a bottle of wine,

watch "Star Trek: The Next Generation."

Data always gets you going.

Ugh.

I love his waxy skin and his yellow eyes.

Mm-kay. I'll be there.

Can we start the meeting without Dr. L?

I have to go to the bathroom.

Hello, look who decided to show up.

You know, I was on time,

even though I have a devastating injury.

Okay, I didn't tell you to fall off your bunk bed.

- He wasn't even on the top bunk. - Shh.

It doesn't matter how I got hurt.

And for the record, you guys have to sign my cast.

I'm the only one that signed it.

I'm starting to look like a real loser.

Hello? Doctor... Doctor Z?

Morgan, we've spent enough time talking about your injury.

I've already agreed to buy your NeckStrong bracelet.

For $49, which, I might add, is a ridiculous price.

- Thank you. - Yes, Karen?

Sorry to interrupt, Dr. Reed,

but I noticed over the weekend

that it's your anniversary as managing partner,

so... I baked your favorite cookie for everyone.

All-bran digestives. Extra fibrous.

Karen...

Mmm! So dry and coarse.

Just how I like it.

Thank you so much, Karen.

You've really made such a difference to this office.

Every countertop is clean.

Every brochure is crisply folded.

I can see my reflection in our uterus model,

such is its polish.

- None for you. - Come on, I'm starving!

You know I need to add mass

if I'm gonna desegregate men's wrestling.

I don't bake cookies for people

who leave me at the altar.

I didn't leave you at the altar!

I left you at the engagement party.

Ah... in other anniversary news,

Anna and I will be leaving early today

to celebrate our first eight months together.

When you find out what we're doing,

you will die with envy.

We're going to a lecture on 12th-century embroidery at the Cloisters.

She's been needling me about it all week.

Well, I hear the lecture is quite a stitch.

That's very good.

Why can't you just be normal

and bone down in the office

like the rest of us?

Meeting adjourned. Bye.

- Pleasure. - Is it good?

Hey!

Walk much?

Damn it, Karen!

Everyone, just so you know,

I can walk.

I can walk much.

- I don't think she can walk. - I don't she can.

- I've noticed that about her. - She definitely can't run.

Oh! Hey, Tamra.

Hey, Dr. L.

Did you finally accept my offer to run my social media?

Even the Chinese bots that I paid for

won't follow me anymore.

No, I just quit all social media

as a social media stunt,

but I'll be back on in a week.

I'm actually here as a patient.

Here's the deal.

I have a lot of love to give,

and I'm sick of wasting it on losers,

and I finally found something I like more than myself.

The idea of another me.

Oh. I don't do cloning.

If I could, there'd be, like, eight Chris Pines in here...

No, no, Dr. L.

I want you to help me get pregnant.

Oh. My God.

You want to be a single mother by choice?

You must have been inspired by me,

your same-age mentor.

Oh, yeah, you do have a kid.

What's his name? Leon?

Well, look, don't tell anyone, okay,

especially not Morgan, he still has feelings for me.

He's always coming up with these dumb excuses to hug me,

like, "Happy Monday," or, "Whoa, made it through another Monday."

I won't tell anyone.

Part of this procedure would require you

to give yourself daily hormone injections.

We do have an injectables class.

Oh, my God, I am a nurse, okay?

I'll be fine.

I could find a vein

on a former child actor.

Jeremy, I love you and Anna together.

I still can't believe that you guys are dating.

Well...

Hey, tell me about your sex life.

You're both so smooth.

Do you just, like, slide all over each other?

It can be a concern.

We keep the windows closed.

Yeah, I'm sure.

I need you guys to fire Karen.

Karen's gone too far.

When I got to work,

there were worms in my desk.

And she took 'em! I was going fishing.

That is ridiculous.

We're not firing Karen.

She's wonderful.

She keeps my clear nail polish stocked up

in the men's powder room.

Can you just make Karen be nicer to me?

You know what? No.

Because the way that you dumped her

was pretty damn mean.

And this is coming from someone who was left for dead

in the Adirondacks by her ex-boyfriend.

Well, then, you're gonna reimburse me for my worms.

Man, it is crazy

that an office romance is devastating this workplace,

and you have nothing to do with it, Dr. L.

You're right. That's cool.

I guess me and Anna really beat the odds.

You know, I'm actually thinking

of asking her to move in with me.

And as someone who's had to live with

with the consequences of terrible decisions

their whole life, I would love to get your advice.

Oh, my God.

There is so little that I'm wise about.

It would be an honor.

You know, I was actually thinking

we could dish over bubbly tonight

at Tiara's Champagne Palace.

There is a Roxette cover band playing.

What? Roxette? "She's got the look"?

- All right. - You knows it.

And I'm in too, and I have some thoughts

about your relationship.

I'm psyched for tonight.

I repurposed our leftovers from last night

into kind of a cool soup.

I wish I could, but Jeremy's going through

something big right now, and I need to be with him.

I'm all yours.

Can you tell Dr. Reed