Powerless

I just feel like the office could be friendlier,

which is why I think wearing nametags

with your favorite movie on them is actually a great idea.

Ooh, did I tell you I think I found an apartment?

You promised me that we were going to

- stand in awkward silence. - You're funny.

It's in this up-and-coming neighborhood called Mu-To.

Cute, right?

Mu-To is short for Murder Town.

Aww, so that's why the kitchen had drains in it.

Oh, finally. I hope these are worth the wait.

Hi, I'll have two bear claws, a chocolate scone...

Special delivery!

Nailed it!

We're out of everything.

Oh.

Oh, here's something cute in East Charm City.

Oh, near the cute insane asylum?

Or near the cute, abandoned mannequin factory

- where all the pedophiles live? - I have to

- increase my price range. - Mm-hmm.

Anyone else stay in a hotel carved out of ice this weekend?

Mm, I slept on a pile of clothes

at my weed dealer's mom's place.

Harrowing.

Anyway, I was in Iceland,

at the Wayne Industries managers retreat.

You were in Greenland.

There was a lot of ice.

Anyway, our division has made a lot of noise

because this one has whipped you all into shape.

Ooh.

I don't need to tell you why you shouldn't...

I regretted it immediately.

- Hmm. - They are green-lighting

your anti-rubble umbrella.

That's amazing!

Bah! Nooo!

The Rumbrella.

Strong, stylish, lightweight.

- Just like you, Teddy. - Thank you.

That's fantastic. We will have it done by the end of the week.

- Corporate's gonna be like... - Oh...

"What? Who's this squad of bad asses?

Let's give them more projects."

Or we could pick a reasonable timeframe

and Corporate's gonna be like, "What? Who's the squad

of sensible individuals who know how to achieve

- a work/life balance?" - Yeah, yeah.

What? I like Emily's idea better.

Get crackin'. Or as they say in Iceland,

- What does that mean? - "Sir, please don't urinate

in the thermal hot springs."

I only remember it 'cause I heard it a lot.

No one tells a Wayne where to pee.

Yeah, but isn't it funny?

They look like they're having fun.

Hey, do you think they'd wanna go... I don't know...

Bowling or something Friday night?

Definitely.

Oh, with you? No.

- Okay, I know you're joking. - I'm not joking.

But I'm still new in town.

I mean, I work all the time.

It can get kinda lonely, you know?

Listen, you seem like a nice person

but you're also their boss,

and a boss can't be friends with their employees.

Well this boss can.

And here we go, here we go.

All right, I laid out the schedule for the Rumbrella.

It's ambitious, but we're not afraid of a little hard work.

Fuh-fuh-Fantasy Superhero League update.

- All right, hold that thought. - If you've got the top pick,

- I'd shy away from Superman. - Mm.

Sure, Supes can save an entire building full of people,

but some weeks he only saves Lois Lane.

- And that's just one point. - That's a fact.

Didn't Teddy pick him with his first pick last year?

Oh, I know he did. That was a rhetorical question.

- Suck it, Teddy! - Oh!

Hey, I will suck nothing. All right?

It was the right pick at the time.

Oh, yeah. The right pick

if you want to come in last.

- Like a bitch! - Ooh!

- Yeah! - Oh, fantasy league, huh?

Sounds like my kind of fun. Mixing it up with some friends.

I can bring the trash talk.

You do not want me coming for you on a group e-mail.

Sorry. League's full.

Oh. Well, I am super busy anyways.

Otherwise, I would bring it... like a bitch!

Did you just call yourself a bitch?

I am better over e-mail.

Let's see where we're at on the Rumbrella.

Okay, so there's a massive super battle above,

but fortunately, our customer is holding her Rumbrella.

In my mind, it's my sweet grandma.

- And she's bringing me soup. - Nice touch.

- Mm. - Rubble starts to fall and...

No!

Grandma!

Ooh, looks like we're gonna be working late tonight.

Doesn't mean we can't have fun. Should we order pizza?

Jackie, what is wrong with this picture?

There are no women or minorities?

Be serious!

What is wrong is I am missing. You can only see my shoulder.

- How did you let this happen? - I wasn't there

when the photo was taken, Van, because you forgot

your ivory cufflinks and made me fly 3,000 miles

- to go and get them. - Oh, so I'm supposed to

wear the gold ones two days in a row like some kind of

certified pre-owned car salesman?

You know what? Maybe I ask too much of you.

- I agree. - Maybe if I want

something done right, I should just do it myself.

- I'd love that. - I'm trying to say

you are incompet... you don't even feel shame properly.

Didn't make the Dream Team, huh, Van?

Hello, Samuel.

And you know that I did.

That...

That is my shoulder.

Really? Well, that's my face.

See, usually people prefer to have those in pictures.

Which is why I'm on Facebook and not Shoulderbook.

Ha ha ha.

Hey, Van.

How come you're not in that photo?

Oh. I like her.

Samuel Greene. Head of Human Resources.

And fully visible member of the Wayne Dream Team.

If you need anything at all, you let me know.

Mm-mm.

Well, he seems nice.

So do chimps. Until you dress them up

and have them perform "12 Angry Men"

for your Yale buddies.

Yes, that happened.

Guys, I can't stress enough the importance

of peoples' heads remaining attached to their bodies.

Fuh-fuh-Fantasy Superhero League...

Have you just been playing that fantasy site?

Emily, we're creative people.

We can't just grind away for 15 hours straight.

I totally get that you have a process,

but Corporate said they need this done by Friday.

No, you said you need it done by Friday,

which makes me think you don't fully understand

the meaning of the word need.

It's like when I say I need to own a pet shark.

I don't need one. I just really want one.

Emily don't worry about it, okay?

We're gonna finish this. We know how to manage our time.

Fuh-fuh-Fantasy Superhero League update.

I think I'm gonna go with the Flash this year.

You always wanna go with the Flash.

- You always go with the Flash. - You know, he's sleek.

We can't even see what he's doing.

- That's the point of it. - Why won't they listen?

There has to be a way to motivate them.

There is. It's called being a dick.

Yeah, but then they'll hate me.

What would that look like? Any different than this?

Look, I'm sure you look at me and think,

"She probably has a million friends."

No. Not once. Not ever. I never thought that.

The other day, I took the elevator up and down,

just trying to meet people.

Oh, my gosh. That's so sad.

There any footage of that?

Look, you're the boss. You've gotta be the bad guy.

Susan?

Little pin-up of some beach bunnies, eh?

Inappropriate.

That's just my daughter's swim team.

Makes for an uncomfortable work environment.

Get rid of it.

If you want people to do what you say,

you've gotta be the bad guy.

Or someone does.

What's your policy on people using company computers

to play Superhero Fantasy League?

Usually we turn a blind eye, unless it's causing a problem.

What if it is causing a problem?

- Then things get fun. - Mm.

Van, I think I know how to fix the photo situation.

Already done.

I am solving this in a way

that your little mind couldn't possibly comprehend.

You're taking a picture of yourself to Photoshop it

into the picture of the Dream Team,

and then you're gonna mount that in the lobby instead.

- Oh. - Van, please let me help you

before you do something very stupid.

Too late!

It's already done.

Jackie, I know what I'm doing.