Mike & Molly

You know what looks good? The French toast.

I thought you were on a diet. I am.

But you're not.

I am not gonna be your surrogate eater again.

You know, you're just selfish.

You were born with a body that can eat French toast.

I wasn't. What?!

It's just weird you watching me eat.

Just leering, barking out commands.

"More syrup." "Slow down""

"Don't ignore the whipped cream""

Come on, Carl.

Nobody around here's ordered anything I want.

You two ready to order?

Oh, where's Samuel?

In the can the last two hours.

Want to hear the specials?

That depends.

Did Samuel eat a special?

Two hours? Should we go check on him?

Yeah. All right, hold our booth. Two black coffees.

And he'll have the French toast,

whipped cream on the side.

He doesn't know to treat it.

Sam, are you in here?

Come on, man, I know it's you.

I recognize your wide stance.

Go away.

Come on, Samuel. That toilet's been busted for months.

Yeah, he should know. He was a material witness.

I had nothing to do with that.

You can't convict a man just 'cause he's got priors.

I appreciate your concern, but I would like to be alone.

I've just received a very disturbing letter from home.

Aw, geez. Did-did someone die?

No.

Anybody sick?

No.

Okay then. We'll get out of your hair.

"Dear Son...

"Our village is once again in the grips of a horrible drought.

"Tribal warfare threatens to break out at any minute.

"So it is with deep sadness I inform you

"that this month

we can only afford to send you $164."

Wait, your family lives in Africa

and they send you money?

I know. I'm pathetic.

Well, no, no, now, you know...

Well.

Yeah, I'm trying to put a positive spin on this,

but I keep picturing a guy covered in flies

writing you a check.

Out of 14 children, I was the one they sent to America.

Look at me.

I'm a complete failure.

They put all of their ostrich eggs in the wrong basket.

No. Now-now, you know...

Well.

My family can't afford to support me anymore,

and I can't afford to live here.

They're telling me I should come back home.

Sorry, pal.

What am I going to do? Oh. Okay.

All right. Okay.

I might as well get up in this, too.

Oh.

Can you give us a minute? We're just finishing up in here.

* La, la-ba-dee-da *

* La, la-ba-dee-da *

* For the first time in my life *

* I see love *

* I see love *

* For the first time in my life *

* I see love *

Hey, Mol.

Taste this.

Mom and I are perfecting our smoothie recipe.

It's got flax seed, protein powder, kale,

and three different kinds of rum.

Whew! That's got quite a kick.

Well, at least I can't taste the kale.

Hey.

Hey. How was your day?

Not good. Got some bad news.

Looks like Samuel's gonna have to move back to Africa.

Wait, he's leaving?

Yeah, he just doesn't have the money to stay...

Oh, smoothies!

Oh, no. That's terrible.

Wait a minute, how bad is it?

Not bad, man... more rum, less kale, you got a winner.

No, I mean Samuel.

Oh, I don't know. I didn't ask.

Well, when is he leaving?

No clue.

Well, what's he gonna do when he gets back home?

I don't know. Probably African stuff.

So Samuel is going through something like this,

and you didn't find out any details?

No, I did not... it's called respecting a friend's privacy.

When a guy's going through something,

you don't poke your nose in, you avert your gaze

and let him go down the drain with dignity.

He's your friend. He's not a dead goldfish.

You don't get it. The last thing a guy wants

is for his friends to see him vulnerable.

It's like when we shower at the gym... eyes forward.

The naked, wet man next to you is invisible.

That's ridiculous.

Well, you say that because shower time for you gals

is an excuse to get in each others' business.

Giggling, tickling, lathering each other up.

You forgot the mud wrestling before we get in the shower.

Mom, don't... he's gonna think you're serious.

Mike, friends help friends whether they ask for it or not.

We're not gonna just do nothing and then let Samuel leave.

Molly,

sometimes nothing is the kindest thing you can do.

Mike,

that's a load of crap.

You just don't want to do anything

that has real emotions involved.

Exactly. You get it.

We're saying the same thing.

That was a very nice dinner. Aw.

Thank you for inviting me over.

Oh, no, that was Molly's idea.

I'm a friend. I didn't want to go anywhere near you.

No, the reason we had you over, 'cause we're concerned and...

we care about you.

Right, Mike? Yeah, yeah.

What?

I said yes.

Then it might be nice

for your friend to hear that... from you.

Okay. I care. He knows that.

Doesn't mean I don't like to hear it.

Listen, Samuel, I know that things haven't gone

quite the way you wanted to since you moved to America.

You mean the fact that my health plan

is the first aid kit from Abe's?

And that my best hope for retirement is to die at 45?

Well, at least you still have your sense of humor.

Did I say something that was funny?

No, no, no. Uh, the...

my point is that maybe we should not be talking

about why you should leave the country

but maybe why you should be staying.

You know, that's actually not bad.

Well, thank you.

I mean, it's really about creating an open dialogue

- so he feels heard... - Molly...

Just a sec, Samuel.

And how you can give him something positive

to take away and keep with him

even when you're no longer there to kind of encourage him.

You know what, I was just afraid to see my friend

crying in front of me.

Sometimes when you open yourself up to other people's pain,

you're the one that ends up getting healed.

You're amazing. Aw.

So we really haven't solved

how I'm going to stay in this country.

You know what we're gonna do?

We're gonna have cake.

Huh? Do you want cake?

Want cake? Cake? Cake it is! Sounds like a plan to me.

Okay, remember, we're just here to offer Samuel moral support.

So be nice and treat him normally.

Which is it? Are we being nice or treating him normally?

I'm just saying, sometimes

when you open yourself up to someone's pain,

you might be the one who's rewarded.

Hmm. I know I was last night.

Molly and I couldn't keep our hands off each other.

Uh, uh, hold on.

Uh, I think I almost have enough for the buy-in.

Just put that crap down. We got your buy-in.

But I can't take your money.

He has his pride.

Can I have my five dollars back?

You shut up. You sit down.

That is very kind of you.

Ah...

It's good to be with friends.

I'm gonna miss this.

It could actually be our last poker game.

No.

Oh, you mean together.

Yeah, probably.

So...

five-card stud, quarter ante.

Yeah, well-well, look at the up-side, man.

I mean, you may be a penniless foreigner with no prospects,

but you know what you do have?

You got a great head of hair.

I'll sell it to you.

I feel bad

for you, kid. It's tough being an immigrant.