Life of Riley (Aimer, boire et chanter)

LIFE OF RILEY

Based on Alan Ayckbourn's play Life of Riley

It's springtime. One day in May...

There.

I can't say I like this marmalade much.

No, nor can I.

Why did you buy it?

I couldn't tell. I'm not inside the jar.

- They didn't have - - I'd rather go without.

Just a second -

- What? - Let me finish.

- Really? - I have more lines.

- Are you sure? - Look.

I say,

“They didn't have the usual.”

Then you say,

“I'd rather go without.”

- I thought you'd said it. - What?

“They didn't have the usual.” I thought you'd said it.

Not at all. You didn't give me time.

I didn't?

You went right on with, “I'd rather go without.”

Before I could even say, “They didn't have the usual.”

So of course it made no sense.

Could you possibly listen to what people say sometimes?

Colin, you don't listen. You never listen. Do you?

I was listening.

You never listen in real life.

You weren't speaking. I thought you'd finished.

That was a pause.

The script says “slight pause.”

How am I supposed to know?

Try following the script.

Right here.

You keep pausing. How can I tell?

When you stop, I go.

There are two characters. If you stop, it's my turn.

I don't know why you agreed to be in this play in the first place.

Nor do I.

I mean it.

You don't take it seriously, you skip lines,

you interrupt others.

I really can't figure out why Peggy Parker picked you.

Saved by the bell.

- God, that phone! - I'll answer it.

It hasn't stopped ringing from the moment I got in.

We leave in one minute.

Peggy Parker hates us being late for rehearsals.

Monica!

Monica!

What are you doing, Monica?

- You're out here? - Hello.

- What are you doing? - Tidying the playroom.

Ah, that's right. Are rehearsals going well?

No one's here yet.

Hello.

Good trip?

The usual boring conference.

You get the picture.

Long way to go to get bored.

Is Tilly around?

Your daughter's at a party with a boy.

That's the second one this week!

The third.

Right, I'll go and unpack.

If you have any washing,

just leave it there.

- I'll put it with the rest. - Thanks.

- Nice hotel? - What?

Was it a nice hotel?

A basic chain place, a broom cupboard with a kettle.

A pack of ancient biscuits, a narrow little bed.

You could have taken a double.

A double? What for?

I was thinking on my way home, Tilly has a big birthday soon.

In September. There's plenty of time.

We need a huge party to celebrate it.

You said that for her thirteenth.

How many huge parties do you plan to throw?

Sixteen's a big one. Age of consent, after all.

I think she's jumped the gun there.

I don't understand.

- It's not what she told me. - Obviously.

I'll get changed.

You bastard.

Are you ok?

I get the impression you came out for a quick smoke.

Monica.

Come on, old pal.

I moved in here way too soon.

We should have waited.

I couldn't have waited.

You're kind. I'm a real pain, aren't I?

Are you sure you're all right?

Yes.

Damn it!

Damn it all to hell!

- Who was it? - Nothing. Just work.

You were talking for ages.

What time is it?

The clock in the hallway

struck six fifteen minutes ago

and the living room one

just struck five.

They're out of step again.

Sort them out. It's driving me mad.

I'll see to it when -

Besides, which one is right?

- Neither one. - So what time is it?

Seventeen minutes to seven.

That's it, we'll be late.

We're late.

- Are you all right? - Yes.

It was a colleague, a specialist from Manchester.

He had some rather bad news.

Manchester?

He's quite renowned. Hinchwood.

Jeremy Hinchwood.

Hinchwood? Do we know him?

No, I don't think so.

A leading cancer specialist.

I referred a patient to him a week ago.

He's just given me his diagnosis.

- It's not very good. - I see.

- Yes. - That's life.

In this case, only one or two months more of it.

- One month? - Six at the most.

That's dreadful!

Does your patient know?

Hinchwood said he'd written to him.

He called him earlier to explain the situation and the ramifications.

And I'm here to pick up the pieces.

That's horrible! Six months.

It's no time for anything.

If someone told me that, I'd die of shock.

This fellow won't. He's not the type.

When it happens, it'll happen fast.

For now, he has a few good months ahead.

- Do I know him? - Kathryn.

What does he do? You can tell me that at least.

For heaven's sake, you're not interrogating me!

You're such a gossip.

I can't tell you anything.

I'm his GP and I must respect patient confidentiality.

Surely you can tell your own wife?

No, not even my own wife.

Especially a wife who'll tell all and sundry.

Why be married to a doctor

if I can't hear things first? If you won't share?

Why am I married to you?

That's a whole other issue.

What does the man's job matter anyway?

If he's a bus driver, say,

it could be dangerous.

If he drops dead at the wheel

with a bus full of school kids.

And the bus crashes into a frozen lake.

Precisely.

I imagine the bus company has insurance for such an eventuality.

You mean the driver's covered?

Drowned and covered!

I wonder if it's the same for schoolteachers?

Schoolteachers?

So he's a teacher!

Maybe. No.

We should be going.

We'll be so late, Peggy will blow a fuse.

I'll get the car out.

Kathryn...

you'll try to wheedle it out of me

but I won't say a thing.

You mustn't mention a word of it to anyone.

- What? - George.

Not a word to anyone. You promise?

I'll be out front.

George.

A schoolteacher? George Riley.

Dear God, not George Riley, please!

Jack, it's Kathryn.

I have some terrible news.

I felt you should be the first to know as you're so close.

It's George.

- Yes, George Riley. - Kathryn!

Coming! Just a second!

Colin

let it slip out.

You know how he can't keep a secret.

He told me just now.

Promise me you won't tell anyone.

You promise?

You're sure? Six months?

That's what Colin told her.

Could they be wrong?

I don't know. I've no idea. Maybe.

George!

Not George!

I'm so sorry for you.

You're so close.

My best friend. My oldest friend.

Something like this takes the breath right out of your body.