The Comeback

Lord, imagine if you'd just be tuning in

and that's the first thing you heard me say.

Don't worry, no one's just tuning in 'cause it's a podcast, not a radio show.

- Yeah. - Oh.

We can cut that, right, Patience?

It's fine, right? 'Cause it's going so well.

- Mm. Yep. - Right? I mean, just a guest

makes all the difference.

So much good stuff.

We're gonna go over the hour, I think.

Well, how long have we been talking?

12 minutes.

Okay.

Yeah, so you know what? Maybe we don't cut it, right?

'Cause fun blooper.

- Mm-hmm. - Right? It's really fun.

And it's a podcast, they're supposed to be

sloppy and unprofessional. That's the charm.

Do you wanna open it?

Today on Cherish the Time,

my guest is the delightful Tommy Tomlin, part-time hairdresser on I'm It!

And will be doing me full-time on my new show, How's That?!

That's right, folks, she's dragging me

- out of retirement at 85. - Well, why not?

Age has nothing to do with quality, alright?

Had a 30-year-old woman do my hair on Mrs. Hatt,

and she just was not good. Had to do it myself.

She should be whipped. I'm serious.

You have one job. Do it well.

Well, good thing I wore a hat.

Still. Fuck her.

Okay, Jane's here.

Sorry I'm late. I got stuck at Trader Joe's.

Just as suspected.

Podcast gold over here.

Says whatever's on his mind.

- Guys, let's go. - Oh, what do I care? I'm 85.

The avocado shipment came late

and the day crew had to stay and stack 'em.

- Oh. - Will never happen again,

as of tomorrow. I switched to nights,

and I have Tuesdays off for show tapings, so...

- Oh, well, there you go. - She works at Trader Joe's?

- Yeah. - You told me

she won an Academy Award.

- She did. - If I had an Oscar,

I don't think I'd be working at Trader Joe's.

Okay, Mickey, don't.

- Tommy. - Tommy.

I want you to know,

I love you, Beth Benedict.

- Okay, go ahead. - I don't know how much time we have.

Casting. It's what makes or breaks a show.

- I love you. - Vulnerable actors

putting themselves on the line.

I don't know how much time we have...

Oh, no, not this one.

- I want the good one. - I'm home!

Well, well, well.

I told him you were back.

- Hi, Jane. - Hi.

Widen out to include Mark.

- You hear that? - What? Yeah.

I wish we had a Jane on the show I'm doing

saying stuff like, "Widen out to include Mark."

- That'd be cool. - Ah.

Did Val tell you I'm doing something called Finance Dudes?

Yeah, she did. And what the fuck, Mark?

Well, why should I be the only person not on a reality show?

That's right. Got our own Mauricio right here.

Yeah. Marky Mark, can you help me with this?

I can't get this casting site to move forward.

All I get is this guy, and I don't wanna see that!

So Mark, you quit your actual finance job to do this?

- Why? - I love you.

Yeah, 'cause starting a new chapter. It was time.

Yeah, I don't know how this works.

Okay. I'll figure it out.

- You got ink on the chair, Val. - I did?

Yeah, the suede chairs you had to have.

- Yeah. No, I see it. - No, don't rub it!

You need OxiClean.

Okay. We can fix that.

We can fix it later.

- Pardon me. - We can do it later.

Why did Mark just get upset?

Doesn't work, you know? This site doesn't work.

Why can't I just have paper with a list of names and headshots on it?

Why don't I have that anywhere?

Oh, I do. Here it is. Oh.

Ha-ha! Lifesaver.

- I love you, Beth Benedict. - Okay.

"No notes!" Straight to rehearsal.

Can you believe it, Jane? No notes?

No notes from NuNet! No, No, Nanette.

That's a show. Yeah. I never saw it, but I know the title.

Hey. Nice hat!

Mrs. Hatt fan.

Oh, look at this.

Stage 24, our new home away from home for the next six years, huh?

Fingers and toes crossed.

Ah.

Oh, look at all the movies that shot here.

Oh, wow. Oh! Look it. Private Benjamin.

Ha-ha! Do you believe it?

Oh! Jane?

Now, Voyager. 1942, Bette Davis.

That was Mickey's favorite movie, and it was shot right here on this stage.

You know, Mickey would always say,

you know, whenever there was something disappointing,

you know, like a dressing room or lunch order

he'd say, "Let's not ask for the moon when we have the stars."

Cute, huh? To say that? Aw.

Look at all these legendary movies!

You know, and now How's That?! Can be the big TV hit

for Stage 24, huh?

Let's go in. We should go in, though. That was good, right, Jane?

Look at that porch.

- Oh! - Beautiful.

Don't you just wanna have tea there?

- Mm-hmm. - Excuse me.

Jimmy.

- No notes. - Hi, Val. Yeah, I know, I know.

And the script still needs work.

- Well... - Is the studio

afraid to say that to The Matrix?

- Jimmy. - When is R2-D2

gonna roll in here and collect our souls?

Not really supposed to talk about that.

Don't worry, Val, I know what the drill is.

I'm here to see how this works and bust some balls.

I'm going for a smoke break.

Bev, call up and find out when the writers are coming to the stage.

Oh, excuse me. They're not.

They're not coming today. But they said that

if you guys have any notes, that I can send them up for you, so...

And who are you, darling?

Marco, the writers' assistant.

I think what we need is...

I think what we need is a new sweet scene.

- Something with some heart. - That's what I was thinking too.

Probably between Beth and her nephew, right?

'Cause they're the only family they have left now.

- Right. - Yeah.

Maybe slip it in at the end of the pottery scene

- to cut the slapstick. - So good.

- Yeah. Good. - Sent.

- Already? - Yeah.

- What? - Looks almost human.

Okay, kids, we're gonna start in 15 minutes

with the cold open where she finds her brother dead.

And it's a comedy.

- Brother dead. - Sorry, my stomach's bloating,

and I had to go home and change into a looser pair of pants.

There was mold at the table read, and I...

- Okay. - think there's actually mold here, too.

- Oh, yeah? Okay. - Yeah.

- Good to know. - Okay.

Well, you were all so great at that table read!

And I knew you would be, too.

Oh.

And this is my doc crew, so just act naturally.

- Yeah. - Okay, yeah, I gotta go.

- Camera's up. - Okay.

Well, you are so handsome and talented.

Thank you. Thank you.

And you.

You're a real bitch.

You're a real bitch.

I just meant in the show.

I didn't mean...

I thought we were doing improv.

Oh. Oh, okay!

That's fun, okay.

Oh.

And hello, my "long-time unrequited love interest."

- Hi, Valerie. - Hi.

- Frank Flynn. - Hi.

We met before on the set of Tom Peterman's show?

Nicky Nicky Knack Knack. I was Gary the worm.

Couldn't recognize you 'cause I only saw...

- Oh. - this much of your face in that hole

in the worm costume, right?

He was in a wormhole? That's funny.

Yeah.

- That's hilarious. - Walter, I'm so thrilled

- that you're doing the show. - Oh.

I really am, 'cause I've seen you in everything.

- Thank you. - Thank you. Yeah.

- Valerie, hi. - Hi.

Peter David Prince. Everyone calls me PDP.

- Easier. - Okay, PDP.

So hilarious as those crazy triplets.

You know?

Leaving, coming right back as another one.

- So fun. - Thank you.

- I feel like I already know you. - Huh?

You worked with my twin brother, Ivan. Ivan Prince?

Is he an actor, too?

No, no, he was at USC. You hired him to work crew