iCarly

In five, four, three, two...

Hey! Welcome to iCarly. -You know who we are.

You don't know? Okay then, I'm Carly. -I'm Sam.

Now you know! -Now you know!

So guess what?

We've been watching some action movies.

We love watching dudes fight.

Even though we know the punches aren't really real.

The actors just swing and miss, but they play a sound effect.

Like this!

Looked like I punched her, right?

Oh, my God! Are you okay? -I... I think so.

'Cause they also use fake blood!

And now moving on...

Last week,one of our viewers

submitted an awesome video clip to us

right here at iCarly. Com.

It's from Keri Mackler of Providence, Rhode Island.

She's a singer. -This girl can wail.

Freddie, play Keri's video clip. -Playback.

Hi, Carly. Hey, Sam. I love your web show.

Okay, check this out.

This is one of my mom's really good glasses.

Okay, now watch.

Yeah! -Nice!

Did you see that?

Why can't she sing that note next to our math teacher's head?

All right, now to finish off tonight's webcast,

my brother Spencer... -An amazing artist.

...is gonna show you his latest sculpture.

His coolest one ever. -So hit the applause button

and say hello to my big brother, Spencer.

Yo! Yo! Yo!

Tell the iCarly viewers about your latest masterpiece.

Okay, so the other night,

I'm watching this TV show about building houses, right?

And this one guy asks this other guy which he likes better,

a nail gun, or a hammer.

And the guy goes, "Personally, I'm a fan of hammers."

And when he said that,

it inspired me to build this.

A fan of hammers! Sam, hit that button.

Thank you! I understand your excitement!

Hey, check this out. It actually works.

All right! -Fan-tastic!

Is it supposed to do that? -No, not really. No.

Hit the floor!

It needs to be adjusted.

In five, four, three, two...

I know, you see

Somehow the world will change for me. And be so wonderful.

Live life, breathe air

I know somehow we're gonna get there. And feel so wonderful.

It's all for real

I'm telling you just how I feel

So wake up the members of my nation

It's your time to be

There's no chance unless you take one

And the time to see

The brighter side of every situation

Some things are meant to be

So give your best and leave the rest to me

Leave it all to me

Leave it all to me

Just leave it all to me

iCarly S01E05 iWanna Stay with Spencer

I got it.

If it's Freddie's mom, don't open the door.

Hey, my mom happens to be... Yeah, don't.

Granddad. -Spencer.

Granddad! -Carly. How's my little gumdrop?

Awesome! Did you see my web show last night?

Yes, I did, and you were adorable. -Thanks.

So, what are you doing here in Seattle?

Why didn't you tell us you were coming?

What, a man can't drive 90 minutes

to surprise his favourite grandkids?

How come my grandfather just sleeps and burps?

'Cause he's related to you.

You remember Freddie.

Of course. Lives right across the hall.

And I think you met Sam last time you were here.

Yes, she borrowed $10 from me and then ate my sandwich.

Nice to see you again.

Carly, I got a little present for you.

Really? A gift card for Groovy Smoothies! Thanks.

How much? -Sam.

Thirty bucks. -Good man.

Let's go spend that bad boy.

I can't now. My granddad just got here.

Go have fun. I'll be in town a few days. -Okay.

Smoothie! -Later.

Bring me back a Blueberry Banana Blitz?

Sure. Be back whenever. -See you whenever.

I used to get the Strawberry Splat,

but then I tried the Blueberry Banana Blitz...

Are you out of your mind?

I should have got the Strawberry Splat?

I'm talking about your little stunt on Carly's webcast.

The fan of hammers.

You nearly took Carly's head off.

It was incredibly irresponsible.

It was an accident. And I am very responsible.

You think? A responsible guardian tells a 13-year-old girl

she can just come home whenever?

She's just across the street. And she's with two friends,

and she has her cell phone with her at all times.

You know I was not happy when you dropped out of law school

to become an artist. -Wow, really?

You could've been a fantastic lawyer.

I didn't wanna be a lawyer. -Why not?

Because when you're a lawyer, you can't do this.

You had such a bright future. -I'm sorry, I can't hear you.

I'm rocking out.

You could've been a brilliant lawyer.

That's all I'm trying to say.

But then you start making these weird sculptures and now...

And now you're putting Carly at risk.

So, maybe it's for the best if...

If Carly comes to live with me!

Carly needs a grownup. -I am a grownup.

And I really don't think Carly wants

to go live with you in Yakima.

And why is that?

'Cause she likes to have fun. -You don't think I'm fun?

That was impressive.

I'll be at the Parker-Nichols Hotel, two blocks over.

I love you, Spencer,

but Carly needs a responsible adult authority figure.

I'll see you tomorrow.

Hey, Spence. I'm back with one large Blueberry Banana Blitz.

Where have you been? -At the Groovy Smoothie.

For a half hour? -Smoothies are thick.

You can only suck them down so fast. -No excuses.

You're out of control. -Yeah, clearly, I have a problem.

I'll check into Smoothies Anonymous tomorrow.

When you live under my roof, you live by my rules.

So always try your best to eat your vegetables!

Okay, are you on some kind of

new medication I should know about?

I can't do this. -Do what?

After you left, Granddad told me

he doesn't think I'm responsible enough

to take care of you. -That's insane.

He thinks you'd be better off living with him in Yakima.

Yakima? I ain't going to Yakima.

He can't do that. Can he do that?

I don't know. -But you're very responsible.

Our grandfather doesn't think so.

Well, we're just gonna have to change Granddad's mind,

because I am not moving to Yakima.

All right. Don't worry too much about this yet.

Just go do your homework or something.

Okay.

I mean, you go do your homework right now, young lady!

Yes, sir. -And just say no!

Always. -And stay in school!

Maybe.

Will you chill?

I'll chill after Granddad's convinced

that Spencer's a responsible adult.

Yeah, good luck with that.

Hey, could you keep your hands off my equipment over there?

I could, but I don't think I will.

I'm wearing my suit.

Nice.

Isn't it kind of small on you?

Yeah, 'cause I only wore it once

in the tenth grade for a school play.

What role did you play? -Man in suit.

I hate it.

You're not supposed to like it.

It's supposed to help Granddad see you as a mature adult.

Okay, but can we have ice cream after he's gone?

Doorbell. -Smells like your granddad.

You smell like garbage. -Your butt's shaped like a ham.

Hey, no fighting tonight. You figure out how to tie your tie,

and I'll go downstairs and stall Granddad.

Okay.

What do you want us to do?

Get out. -Right.

Wait. The back way.

Granddad. -Surprise!

An "I heart Yakima" T-shirt. -For you.

Why'd you get me this?

Carly, come. Sit.

I got in touch with your dad last night. -Oh, man.

I told him I was worried about you,

you know, living here with Spencer.

And what'd he say? -He thinks Spencer is very responsible.

See? He knows what he's talking about.

Wait. Your dad also agreed that since he's not here right now,

I can decide what's best for you.

Well, what does he know?

He's in the Navy on a submarine three miles under water!

He's probably all dizzy!

Carly, you're coming to live with me in Yakima.

No! I wanna stay here in Seattle with Spencer!

Spencer needs to learn to take care of himself

before he can take care of a child.