Succession

- Wow, really? - Oh, yeah. Yeah.

- It's a shit show over there apparently. - Yeah?

Yeah. Like, advertisers bailing, my dad is out of it, by all accounts.

You know, Gerri Kellman in charge?

Sorry. I mean, Gerri's great, I actually I actually love Gerri, you know,

but Gerri is a time server who's way out of her depth.

Meanwhile, on the upside,

the DOJ and I are in contact about the terms of my immunity deal.

So yeah. Does not look good for them.

Right.

All that's on background, you know, as we said a lot of moving parts.

- But.. but, yeah, please, let's... - So you're okay if I record this, right?

Yeah. Hey, am I okay? I am I am great.

- Great. Thank you. - Let's record. Open the kimono.

Thank you.

So will this be in the piece?

"Kendall Roy ordered a shaved fennel salad and picked at it, inquisitively?"

You're quite concerned with how you're gonna come across.

Not really. No.

Am I? No, look, I come from a world of image, that's the family business.

I mean, did you see the Sophie Iwobi monologue?

Yeah. Well, she did a bit "Oedipussy"?

It's funny, right? But, you know, it doesn't hurt now because,

because I am who I am.

And, and, and I wanna plant a flag,

I wanna physically get in and plant a flag,

you know, for that inside my family's business.

And in terms of your family business,

one question that people do have is about your siblings.

So where are they in this? Have you managed to stay close with them?

You know, sure. Absolutely.

There, there are issues, but, uh

essentially, yeah.

I'm just really happy in my headspace.

And I hope they're happy in theirs.

Hey. El Presidente. How's your headspace? You happy in it?

Uh, yeah. You like the ending?

"Oh, I love my kids, what are their names again?"

"Blur Face and Who Cares?"

- All right. - Oh. And let's press go on that sale,

the Israeli machine learning operation.

- Okay? - What?

What... nothing. Good. Let me get into that.

- Look at me. - No, I am.

- Hi. I see you. - Action stations.

Strategy meet. Time to go tickle my dad's balls.

- Yeah. - Hi, Karolina.

I just hope our acting CEO isn't getting too fucking acting.

I'll tell you what's a scary story we should maybe reboot.

Pinocchio. A puppet that comes to life.

Oh, come on. Let's get started.

- They can catch up. - Hey, Dad. How's your headspace?

I hear Gerri's looking at the Israeli outfit.

-Uh, pretty insignificant. - No, no, no, no, no, no.

I have a shape of things in mind for that.

GoJo Go, I don't know, streaming.

No. Kill it, okay? Just kill it.

What? What? Are you checking the chain of command?

No. Um...

What does he mean by "plant a flag", huh?

Please, don't fucking hover.

Um, there's talk that, uh, Kendall's planning to come in.

- You're fucking kidding? - Uh-hmm.

- In here? - Uh-hmm.

That rat steps one foot inside this building, I'll punch him in the nose, okay?

Well, I think that's the grown-up solution that keeps everyone happy.

Find out what this fucker's planning.

- I don't need him in my teeth right now. - I can I can scope that out.

I can catch him tonight, if you'd like, at the journalism dinner.

But, you know, what are we doing to counter?

Yes. Yes! You should all be out there, call him out on this.

well, we did discuss the town hall event?

Yeah. I like it. It brings everyone together.

- Yeah. - Open, anonymous questions. Employee facing.

Yeah. I'm happy to lead it, if it's about change.

Oh, you are? Now who's planting a flag?

In terms of getting proactive,

Hugo had Frankton's put together some full-page responses.

Yeah. There were a there were a couple we liked.

Full-page, with, a number of pledges, we can figure out the verbiage.

And the tagline "We Get It."

I thought it was quite funky.

"We get it." A bit like those ladies on the cruise ship got it?

- Gerry liked it? - Yeah, it's a little,

"Yeah, yeah, we get it already, stop moaning about the rapes."

Logan, um, we have agents on the phone,

asking if Waystar's willing to accept service of a document subpoena?

- Tell them to fuck off. - Oh, okay.

- Kerry, hang on, he's kidding. - Dad?

Logan, I'm just wondering, uh, when we might start to play ball.

I mean, everybody cooperates.

Maybe I don't do that dance.

And how does that feel in regards to the shareholder meeting?

We don't accept service, in an hour, there's gonna be two agents here to serve you,

and while they're at it, they could subpoena you to the grand jury.

Fuck 'em.

- Logan? - Tell 'em to fuck off!

- FBI, hands up! - Hey.

- How's it going? - To be honest? Not great, Greg.

It's looking pretty bad with the investigation, and, um,

Logan says we have to take these.

Cyanide pills. The whole team.

It's a mint, you doofus. Take one. Your breath really does stink.

Hey, can I show you something?

- Mmm. Yeah. - Come on.

Gregory, my chief of staff, leggy princeling of ATN, you deserve a new office.

What do you think?

I mean, it's, it's not very nice.

That's rude, rude boy. It's your new place.

Okay. I see this is punishment, right?

This is because I'm not taking the company lawyer, right?

- And I am I getting demoted right now? - In the middle of an investigation?

No. No. This is just part of a totally standard office rationalization.

No. No, no, no. You do whatever you like, you know.

Hang out with Kendall. Take your own counsel.

I hear you have a really great lawyer.

Is it true you can find him anytime day or night?

- Yes. - Because he has one of those bowties

- that lights up and spins around? - He's actually really good.

I'm very, very happy with him.

Listen, on the level, buddy,

On the level, there are a million knives being sharpened right now.

The DOJ's gonna be like a combine harvester in a wheat field of dicks, okay?

So I understand, I get it. I see that this is tough.

I have gone Waystar, I think that's safest.

But tonight, I'm actually seeing a pal to get an objective take on my situation.

And if you want, if you want, I can fold you in.

- Tonight? - Yeah. I just thought, you know,

over a beer, we could kick back and recall what happened,

and make sure that we remember it exactly the same way.

- What? - No. It's just Ken.

- Fuck Ken. - Yeah. No, fuck Ken,

- a hundred percent,but... - But what?

He's... it's stupid, he's giving me a watch tonight to say thanks,

- um, for so, I don't know, I... - You sold your ass for a watch?

I'll buy you a watch, dickwad. Just fucking come over!

Okay. I'll try to come. I wanna come.

Stay.

You know, your dad just wondered,

since the public discourse about your father feels really one-sided...

Yes. We would love your help getting more dimensions.

It would be totally controlled business interview, with some softballs at the end.

Yeah. So Shiv, or someone like Shiv,

sharing some memories and feelings about your dad.

Yeah, I see. I think I think I'm best placed neutralizing Kendall.

Okay. Well, you or someone like you.

All right. Yeah, fine. Fuck you. I'll go out and I say I love Dad.

Why not? I do. So yeah, fuck you.

Aww, look at you. Cutest cheerleader in high school.

Is it true you let the track team finger bang you for lunch money?

- Stop projecting your memories onto me. - All right.

I like it. I like it. It's a good weight, I...

Ken? Real quick, can you, can you just give me the green light on this?

It's very expensive. I mean, I usually just use my phone

- for all my time needs. - Yeah. Fuck it.

Fuck it, man, you deserve it. Dude, your phone is a widget, a button.

Every janitor in America has one.

Your watch is a Mona-fucking-Lisa.

Okay, hey, shut the fuck up, Reece. Guys, it is game time.

The game is Good Tweet, Bad Tweet!

Oh, shit!

Okay. You crazy fuckers better have these ready when I call them out.

- Start it already. - Okay. And... good tweet!

"Okay. Allies, don't always come in the form we like."

But what Kendall Roy did was important and brave."

Boom! Boom, that's the shit! All right, all right, all right. Bad tweet.

I got it, I got it, I got it.

- Bad tweet. Bad tweet. - "Kendall Roy is not a hero, fam."

"He's bootleg Ross with a daddy complex."

- Love it! Love it! - Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.

- Good tweet, good tweet. - Okay. Keep them coming, motherfuckers.

"Maybe it's just because he's murking his shitty dad,"

"but I kind of wanna fuck Kendall Roy?"

- Oh, hell yeah! Booyah! - Yeah, girl.

- Bad tweet, bad tweet, bad tweet. - Hit me up. Hit me up.

Bad tweet, bad tweet, bad tweet, bad tweet, bad tweet.

Okay. "He clearly has mental health issues and crazy guilt"

"coupled with addiction. That's all this is and it's sad."

- Boo! - Boo! Boo! Boo.

That one sucked! That one sucked! That one sucked! That one sucked!

- Hi! - Hi!

- Hi! Wow. - Let's speed it up, fellas.

Should I give them something? - Yeah.

Fuck the patriarchy!

All right. Do we have like a safe word to get out of here?

Excuse me.

- Shiv-fucking-Roy. Great to see you here. - I always come.

The Committee for the Protection and Welfare of Journalists?

You're into that, but you like to keep them protected in hutches, correct?

With the little feeding bottles, kind of like hamsters?

Yeah. Yeah. Adorable. We do keep more newspapers alive

and employ more journalists worldwide than any other company, so I guess we're doing our bit?

Uh-huh. The Soviet Union employed a ton of journalists, too.

Oh, Nate, we got to Stalin so fast?

Is Gil still turning up on Russia Today by mistake?

- Hey. Hey, man. - Hey, Ken.

- Good to see you. - It's a family affair.

Yeah, I didn't think you'd be here. I thought

the newly-minted President of Waystar Royco would just be too busy.

- I'm on the advisory. - Oh, right.