Shrinking

Grandpa, this was so nice. I feel like I haven't seen you in forever.

Yeah. Sorry, Dad. If I knew you were coming, I would've got us some beers.

Oh. No problem.

Thank you for the hot, uh, Black Cherry White Claw.

You're welcome.

My mom taught me to never show up empty-handed.

Lucky that car show was in Irvine.

- Best one I've been to in a minute. - Hmm. Mmm.

They had a pristine 1968 Ford Mustang GT Fastback.

Same one Steve McQueen drove in Bullitt .

I don't know what any of that means.

Oh, it means… "I'm a man, and I like man things."

Yeah. Hey, I noticed that, uh, '72 vintage Bronco outside.

- Great car, son, but, uh… - Yeah. Thanks.

Oof. Baby blue?

- That's a… That's a badass color. - Is it?

Yeah. It's like driving Frank Sinatra's eyes.

Huh. Frank would've had you killed for saying that.

He's a singer.

Oh!

So, uh… Wesleyan, huh? That is amazing.

Are kids still doing fist bumps?

Only for you, Grandpa.

Boom!

How 'bout you, Jimbo? What's going on with you?

Just living my life, not going by the name "Jimbo."

You seeing anyone?

No.

There is a woman named Sofi.

Word on the street is he's too afraid to ask her out.

- Hey… - Why, pimp?

Go get some divorced strange, dawg.

Nothing wrong with divorced strange.

Look, we don't even know if she's into…

mopey widowers.

Jimmy's always had trouble asking girls out.

Every time he tried, he got a nosebleed.

- That was one time. - Hmm.

I used to get nervous when I talked to girls, but I got over it.

Okay.

- I'll take these in. -

Grandpa, I wanted to ask you something about graduation…

Oh, uh, hey, kid, can you help me with dessert in the kitchen?

Sure.

You are exactly my mom's type.

I'm okay not talking.

Hey.

You know how I love it when you give me shit, right?

- No, you don't. - I don't. I hate it.

But I allow it because my heart sings when you include me.

But him…

I'm glad you guys have a good relationship, I really am.

For me, it's, like… it's, like, a little more complicated.

I get it.

- Yeah? - I do.

- Thanks, kid. - Yeah.

Your friend showed me a picture of her mom's tattoo.

I'd like to leave now.

Summer! She's not even single!

We have some stuff to go over because we're about a month away from D-Day,

which is "delivery day" for us, and "doomsday" for your bajingo.

- What now? - Maybe we skip that part.

Now, I wanna make sure everyone's clear on their roles for the actual birth.

Charlie, you're gonna deal with the anesthesiologist,

take her through breathing, and hold her hand the whole time.

I've moisturized, and I'm ready.

And I'm gonna be like one of those 1950s dads chain-smoking

and saying things like, "Can you believe they let broads become doctors?"

Wrong. You're gonna be fetching ice chips.

For what? Rosé?

Also, if you do look down there,

you are not allowed to say "ew" when you see how stretchy it is.

- Ew. - Wow.

Ava, I want to introduce you to the other nanny

that's gonna be "helping out" on the six days a week that I'm not there.

You're very tall.

I am, thank you.

And I'm also just so excited that this baby is finally here.

And I have been instructed to say that,

"Serving under Liz will be the privilege of a lifetime."

Not as sincere as I'd hoped.

- Not great. - No.

Regardless, Kellie is amazing and has tons of expertise...

- I have a deep training in Montessori... - But not now.

- No? - No. Thank you so much for stopping by.

- There ya go. On your way. - Yeah. Thank you so much.

Bye, Kellie. Please don't quit yet.

Hey! Remember,

the hospital will not discharge unless that car seat's installed.

I want that purchased by tomorrow.

I have a business trip.

- Uh, but Brian can handle it. - He can't.

- I can't. - Derek will join you.

- Can't he just go by himself? - I'll fucking kill you.

I'm so excited that you guys are gonna be there when the baby comes.

- - I invited my mom too.

Oh.

Well, the more the merrier.

She said no.

She's not really on board with what I'm doing.

- It'll just be the three of us. - Four of us.

I miss Kellie.

All right, meeting adjourned.

Sean!

Marisol.

Koala!

God, I missed this.

I'm sorry I'm late, but it's so good to see you. How are you?

No, wait, wait. I wanna go first because I just moved back from Miami.

And I'm so excited to be with my family

and to, like, end the day in the same bra that I started it in.

It's very sticky there. You know, things get sweaty.

That's too much. Okay. Your turn.

Right.

- You look great. - Thanks.

Before we catch up, we obviously need to talk about how things ended.

Especially how badly I behaved…

Ew. No, who cares about that?

Okay, I know that I was late, but I'm-I'm trying to get into fashion,

and I met this girl who has this cousin who's like a sick designer.

And she said that I could meet him if I met her in 15,

so I can't stay, but I still wanted to see you.

And now I have.

And you're still hot. Thank God.

Oh, my God. We should have dinner tomorrow night.

You can cook for me, and since I don't have a job yet,

- you can buy all the food. - I don't know…

- Why, are you busy? - No, I just-just...

Okay, great. I'll see you tomorrow night.

- Koala! -

Wait. You koala me.

I'm kidding. I'd die.

You're crazy.

I'll see you tomorrow. Bye!

What the fuck just happened?

- Bye, Grandpa. - Aw.

- Love you. - Love you too.

Hey, didn't you, uh, have a question for me before?

It was nothing.

- It was nice seeing you, Dad. - Oh. You too, kid.

Maybe I'll see you again if there's a car show in a 30-mile radius.

You can count on it.

All right, Jimbo.

Every September 16th

I think, "This is the year my dad's gonna call on me my birthday."

Never does.

Your birthday's September 16th?

That means your parents were fucking on Christmas.

Was that helpful?

Hey, so, Paul, how you doing?

I'll be back in the office in no time.

Give me the scoop. What's going on with that patient of yours?

- Maya? - Yeah.

Oh, I fucked that up real good. She still won't return my calls.

Why don't you tell her the truth?

That you were messed up because Jimmy was BFF with the guy who killed your BFF.

- Is that how we're describing this now? - That's the way we're describing it.

Paul, I don't know if I want to be that forthcoming with Maya.

There's nothing wrong with self-use.

It can build trust when you confess your own flaws.

That's why Jimmy's patients trust him so much.

He's basically a walking mistake.

I'm only hearing the compliment.

Okay, I'll tell her. Why the hell not?

Oh, shit, I gotta run. I'm covering one of your patients at noon.

- Oh, yeah? Who? - Sean.

Oh…

- Terrific. - "Terrific."

- Somebody's jealous. - I'm not jealous.

All right, I'm a little bit jealous.

Yeah, that's fine.

You jealous little bitch.

- - Paul.

Matthew hated getting in the car seat.

We had to play the Wiggles on repeat just to get him to sit still.

- Derek. Focus. -

Wait, I'm about to be a caring father. I should practice.

How is Matthew? Have you heard from him since you kicked him out?

No… …but I know he's staying with his brother because Liz tracked his ass.

She, like, put a GPS tracker in his clothes?

Sure.

In his clothes.

Okay, now, find the one with the fewest crevices

because you're gonna be hosing poop out of that thing twice a week.

- That sounds like a Charlie problem. -

This one's not bad.

- Holy crap. Holy crap! - What?

Ava went into labor.

- -

I'm having a baby.

Congrats.

Oh.

Oh! This isn't how I imagined

- this moment at all. - What?

I thought I'd be at a boozy brunch with my best gays,

and as I ran out of the pool area, everyone would've formed two lines.

It's like I was a guest on the Jennifer Hudson show!

Okay, hey, everyone!

This man is having a baby!

- He's having a baby! - I'm having a baby!