Wings

Fay!

Are you all right?

My God, you scared me.

There's usually nobody here at this hour.

But--

What's wrong? Why in the world were you screaming?

Oh, that's how I start my day.

You'd be amazed at how it makes stress just disappear.

Morning, losers.

I'm back from vacation.

Wanna see my tan line?

Man, life is good. Isn't it, Joe?

I mean, who'd think that the planets could ever be

in such perfect alignment?

Did I wake you up?

No.

Good, 'cause I kind of feel like sharing, you know.

I mean, when something good happens to you,

it makes you want to rush immediately

back into the bosom of your family, you know.

Mom's gone, Dad's gone, so I guess that kind of makes you...

my bosom.

Anyway, you know, I've been walking around for hours

just thinking, thinking, thinking what it is I'm feeling,

you know, and then just suddenly it hits me, man.

I'm happy.

I'm happy.

Look at this face.

Look, do you ever see me look this happy?

I haven't, and I look at it everyday.

All day.

You know what else just hit me?

Bosom is a really funny-sounding word.

Come on, say it with me, "bosom."

Say it, "bosom, bosom."

Bosom, bosom. Right? Bosom.

Where was I?

Babbling about Alex.

How did you know?

Bosom.

I just--

I can't stop talking about her, because she is so incredible.

I mean, take tonight. You know what we did for six solid hours?

Six hour-- I don't wanna hear this.

We talked.

We just talked.

Stop--

See, you have no idea how wonderful she is, Joey,

because all the time you were chasing her,

you just wanted her for her body.

Me?

All right, me too, but that was last week.

I mean, I've discovered that I not only like her body...

I like her.

You wanna know about the real amazing part?

We still haven't slept together yet.

A whole entire week without sex? Are you gonna be all right?

Yeah, I'll be okay, thanks.

I mean, we've been having such a great time

that I haven't even thought about sex.

And you know me, everything makes me think about sex, right?

Cars, a warm breeze...

a cool breeze...

Wilma Flintstone...

a nice piece of fruit.

Wilma Flintstone?

Well yeah, Fred was out of town, she was parading around

in that short leopard skin number.

That's sick.

Besides, Betty Rubble, she was the hot one.

Now, Pebbles, imagine what a babe she would be today.

Anyway, anyway...

Listen to me, man,

: I just keep talking about myself.

Enough about me. What'd you do tonight?

Oh, well--

You know that new blonde waitress down at the club car?

With the--

Yeah, that is the one.

Well, she got off work.

Yeah?

She asked me to go back to her place.

: What happened?

I don't know, you woke me up.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

Yeah, okay, good.

I-I'd appreciate it, you know, if you just--

Went out,

because I gotta get up at 5 to take the charter.

Okay, okay.

Good night.

Have you seen Lowell?

I've been looking for him all day.

Don't you remember? We gave him the day off.

What for?

The Mather family reunion.

Oh, yeah...

Dozens of people all missing the same chromosome.

I am so angry right now, I could just spit.

I went out with this guy, Larry Thompson.

He's not a ten, but that's okay.

He took me to lunch, not dinner.

That's okay.

What's not okay, is he turned out to be an insurance salesman.

He only asked me out to sell me a policy.

Come on, you don't know that.

Over coffee, he said he would require

a chest x-ray and a urine sample.

It's not a great come on,

but it's a little more original than "What's you sign?"

Morning, everyone, I've got wonderful news.

Look what I got in the mail this morning, my registration card.

It's about time they started keeping track of you people.

I registered for classes at the community college.

Oh, that's wonderful, Fay.

When did all this happen?

You never even mentioned you were thinking about it.

Well, I didn't want to say anything

until I knew I'd been accepted.

I hear they've got a very strict admissions policy.

You actually have to have a pulse.

So, what are you going to study?

Oh, I'm taking Beginning Psychology.

Oh, psychology. Fay, good choice.

But remember, you don't get the pellet

til after you ring the bell.

Fay, how can you let him talk to you like that?

Uh, did he say something?

: I've learned to tune him out.

Well, I can't.

Roy...

What's wrong with you?

Gee, I don't know.

Why don't you put me up on the rack for a closer look.

Ooh, yeah...

Nothing I find sexier than a man with--

Baco bits in his moustache.

Hey, while you're grooming, you might wanna check your hair.

Looks like you're down a quart.

Oh, God, they're at it again.

Hi.

Hi, back.

Been thinking about you.

Oh yeah?

I bet I was thinking about you

before you were thinking about me.

Bet you weren't.

Excuse me... uh, would someone mind taking a hammer

and driving this into my skull?

Oh, I think they're sweet,

and I think you're a little bit jealous.

: Of what?

: Of what?

Well, for one thing, Alex picked Brian over you.

And for another...

he's got a smile that lights up a room.

Everybody says so.

Look, for the record, I am not jealous,

I just don't happen to care for

their public displays of affection.

I'm with you on this one, Hackett.

Some things should just remain private.

It's is nobody's business what goes on behind closed doors

between a man and a woman...

and another woman.

Well, I think there's a limit to how much affection

should be displayed in public.

I mean, after a certain point,

isn't that what bedrooms are for?

Or restrooms on 747's?

Well, as a stewardess, you hear things.

Come on, Joe, you're being too hard on Brian and Alex,

just leave them alone.

Are you telling me you enjoy

watching those two drool all over each other?

When did you become such a prude?

You know, it seems that I remember,

back when we were dating, that somebody got a little frisky

at the Museum of Fine Arts.

We never went to the museum.

Oh, well, you know...

You missed a great exhibition.

Joe, you gotta help me.

That guy Larry keeps calling me and calling me.

How do I get rid of him?

You don't, he's an insurance guy.

I'd say your best bet would be to enter

an insurance relocation program.

We'll have to alter your appearance and change your name,

and move to a new city.

Plan on doing it every few months because...

he'll find you.

They always do.

Hey, Joey.

Can you, uhh...

Can you take the late flight today?

Uhh, yeah. Yeah, I guess so.

Why, what's up?

Well, Alex asked me over to her house for dinner,

and I get the feeling that she wants me to stay for breakfast.