Cheers

"Cheers" is filmed before a live studio audience.

Hey, everybody. I'm back from my Florida vacation.

Yeah, good to be home again, back with the old gang.

Hey, how you been, pal?

Glad too, buddy.

Ah, look at that.

There's the old bar, huh? Hasn't changed a bit.

Hey, you're back. Good to see you.

It's good to be back. Oh, it's you.

You know, from behind, you look like a friend of mine.

Aw! Hey. You kidder.

I'll get you for that.

Eh, so, hi, coach. Hi, cliffie.

Boy, did I have a spectacular time down there in Florida,

basking up the old Florida sunshine.

Hoo! I tell you,

it really got my head screwed on straight, too.

You know, coach, that experience changed me.

I'm now at one with the cosmos.

No more getting caught up...

Um...

One with the cosmos, coach.

No more getting caught up in the petty irritations

of day-to-day life.

I'm just the kind of guy...

Yeah,

I stood on many a windswept beach,

felt the oneness...

Felt...

I...

Anybody want a mai-tai?

Ha ha ha!

Ha! Mai-tai, cliff. Cliffie, look.

You get it? My tie?

My tie, cliffie.

Afternoon, everybody.

Norm! Norm! Norm!

Beer, normie?

You know how to make it sound tempting,

you fast talker.

Guess who, buddy.

Cliffie. Missed you the last couple of days.

I, uh... I've been gone two weeks, norm.

I know.

God, I missed this guy.

So, uh, norm, how's Vera?

Any luck getting her in the family way yet?

Still working on it.

Hey, norm. You want a kid?

Not really.

I'm just kind of going along with it to shut Vera up, you know?

She says she wants to start a family

so she'll have something to do.

Poor norm here's been shooting blanks

the last couple of months.

Little louder, cliff. We'll dance to it, huh? Come on.

Hey, don't worry, normie.

You'll be planting your seed before you know it.

Hope so.

Doc says if something doesn't happen soon,

we may have to take a drastic step.

You mean...

Sleep together.

Our prayers are with you, big guy.

Thank you, thank you.

So, coach, how's Sammy been doing since I've been away?

Just about the same, cliffie... terrible.

You should've seen him the other night, cliffie.

He walks in here with this lady librarian, right?

She's off duty, right?

They both have a snootful.

The librarian's got...

Sam: Hey, gang!

Never mind. My story's obsolete.

Coach.

Yeah?

This is my bar, isn't it?

Yeah, sure is, Sam.

See? I told you I owned a bar.

Ooh, I like it, Sam.

Well, it's not much, but then again... I am.

Hey, Sammy, I think you got one over the legal limit there, buddy.

Hey, cliffie's back.

How was your vacation?

Oh, my vacation. You remembered, huh?

Atlantic city, right?

Yeah, it was terrific. Thanks a lot.

What branch of the service are these young ladies in?

I stole them off the front of a parade last night, coach.

At this very moment, there are 26 tuba players

marching right into the river.

Show them your stuff there, girls.

Ha ha ha!

God, I love it.

Excuse me, Sam.

While you're waiting for runway clearance...

Do you mind taking a look at this?

Well, this is a piece of paper, isn't it?

And those are words.

This is a letter or something.

It is Jo Ann's resignation.

Hey, girls, take a break and give your dimples a rest.

What?

We lost another waitress because she says

she found out she wasn't the only girl in your life.

Oh, nonsense, Carla.

She's been listening to vicious rumors.

Sammy, this means that I have to work alone again.

We can't keep a waitress in here

because you keep breaking their hearts.

Well, obviously, I need a good talking-to.

Sammy, this is serious!

We have gone through eight waitresses in six months.

Bet you I can remember all their names.

Dee Dee, carleen, Angela,

sneezy, dopey, donner, and blitzen.

Ok, girls.

Yo!

Step right this way, ladies.

Time for the halftime show at the sammydome.

There you go. Step lively.

Poor Sam.

Yeah. My heart bleeds for him.

Yeah, sure, cliffie, he looks like he's having a lot of fun,

but believe me, this is just the first stage.

He's going to end up drinking himself senseless.

Turning into a real jerk, you know?

Spends his time boozing, chasing skirts,

and loving and leaving waitresses.

Wonder what set him off.

Suppose maybe it might've been diaaa...

Diabetes!

You were going to say that name, weren't you?

No, I wasn't.

Yes, you were. You know my rule.

I didn't say it.

I don't even want you to think it.

Use that name, and I will give you a sunroof.

All right, look, look,

what difference does it make how it started?

The important thing is, can we do anything to stop him?

If we can't stop him, can we join him?

If we can't join him,

do you think he'd let me watch?

Cheers.

Uh-huh.

Yeah, he's here. I'll give him the message.

Normie, it's Vera. She says to hurry home.

Her cycle is at its peak.

Again?

Her cycle has more peaks than the adirondacks.

Hey, all systems are go there, big fella.

Even secretariat got to wait till he was in the mood once in a while.

poor coach.

After all you went through with Sam,

seeing him right back there where he was.

Really, Carla, it's eating me up, I'm telling you.

I'm so desperate, I feel like I'm gonna do something crazy.

As a matter of fact,

I am going to do do something crazy.

Wait a minute, coach. What are you going to do?

I know exactly what Sam needs.

Coach, your apron.

He's got an apron!

Diane: Just put them down over there, boggs.

Thank you, miss. Now I know why I became a chauffeur

instead of a longshoreman.

I would have been 72 on me next birthday.

I appreciate your bringing me home, boggs.

Well, your mother and I felt very strongly

that the first face one should encounter

on leaving a place like that

should be a friendly one.

Speaking of mother,

why didn't she ever visit me there?

Well, she wanted to visit you, miss Diane,

but you know how uncomfortable she is around psychiatrists.

She could have written me a letter.

And let them see her handwriting?

Boggs, that's insane.

Well, as your mother would say,

let's see them prove it in court.

Which reminds me, I should be getting back to her right now.

Well, thanks again for driving me home, boggs.

It's my pleasure.

I must say, it's so nice to see you happy again.

Boggs, I think I'm as happy as I've ever been.

I have a new life.

All these wonderful things have happened to me.

I'm better now.

Aah! Miss?

I'm fine, boggs. I was just a little startled.

That's a perfectly normal reaction.

Perfectly.

Aah!