Barry

Man: Barry.

Barry. Barry. Wake up, buddy.

Fuches? Hey.

How long have you been watching me sleep?

The money from the Rochester job just cleared.

One less bad guy in the world.

Nice work, as usual, Barry.

Oh, well, he was in bed, so it wasn't work exactly.

Then why did it take two days?

Uh, I was doing recon. Ah.

To make it clean.

Or... were you laying around the hotel room

like in Sioux Falls last month or St. Paul before that?

Look, these extra expenses, they add up, Barry.

Okay. All right.

Oh, God. I'm worried about you, buddy.

This shit heap looks like the old Barry,

before he had a purpose.

Barry: No. No, no. I think I'm just burned out.

You know? Maybe I need a break.

Hey, you know what I think? What?

I think what we should do is shake things up a little bit.

You know, so instead of burning another small-town hood

in some snowed-in, rust-belt shithole,

what do you say to a little trip out

to sunny Los Angeles?

You came here to give me an assignment?

It's the Chechen mob. Come here.

A guy by the name of Goran Pazar needs

an outsider to handle something embarrassing.

It's great money.

Get us a lot closer to where we need to be

to hang it all up someday.

When do you think that'll be?

The plane for LA leaves in four hours.

I will have a car waiting for you at the Ontario airport.

Ontario? Wait. Isn't that, like, a two-hour drive?

You can't just, you know, fly into LAX.

You gotta cover our tracks, right?

Why? Because it's cheaper or-- Fuches: Because it is smarter, Barry.

How much cheaper was it?

Hey, Barry. Fuches. Probably still on the plane,

but welcome to California, buddy.

Hey, my guy said he left the car in space 408.

I told him you were my best guy, so he should hook you up.

He said the car is "dope," so enjoy that, buddy.

When you meet Goran, don't be afraid to sell yourself.

Remember that liquor distributor

in Canton you stabbed in the nut?

I think Gordon's the kind of man

who would find something like that intriguing.

So work it into the conversation

to make him aware that, you know, you'll go there.

Oh, fucking-- Fucking dick!

Hey, man! You must be Barry!

I'm NoHo Hank.

I trust the flight was good, no?

Are you hungry?

I mean, do you want a submarine sandwich.

If you're thirsty, we've got juice boxes,

Hawaiian Punch, or maybe beer or something.

So, we're gonna do this outside, if that's okay.

His daughter has some friends over, huh?

They're watching their Jessie.

Jessie (on TV): Why? Did the bowling alley run out of shoe freshener?

We haven't been in LA long,

but we've made a lot of progress:

the harbors, identity theft,

meth, 99 Cent Stores.

Business has been going great.

Recently, personal matters cropped up,

which needs to be kept separate from the business.

So, we called you.

This is Ryan Madison. He's a physical trainer in Silver Lake.

He works with Goran's wife, Oksana.

They've been training together for--

What do you think?

What do you think? Two? Two, three months?

Hmm? Yeah?

Over the past few weeks, these sessions became more frequent.

Goran asked me to follow her,

and I became aware that they were taking up

at a Holiday Inn in Studio City.

I snuck a lipstick camera,

similar to this one, in the room,

and got... this.

Oksana: Harder! Oh, harder!

Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Why would I want to see this?

Turn that off.

Turn it off! Come on.

I wanted to give him the whole--

He gets it. You already said they are taking up in hotel.

Why show footage? Noho Hank: It's important for him to know!

You are just impressed with yourself for planting camera.

I am not-- Okay. Trash that footage.

So, you guys want him gone? Both: Yes.

Good. Okay. We pay you--

No, you don't pay me anything. Fuches takes care of the money.

I just need his name and address,

and it'll be done in a couple of days.

That sounds good. Barry: All right.

Now, there's a lot of ways I can, uh,

do this for you. Um...

One of them...

is I could stab him in the nut.

That's something I-- I did once,

and I am... very comfortable doing it again.

What? Or not.

Why? Forget about it.

Who would want this? Can't you just shoot him?

Yeah. No, I-- Because being shot is very painful.

Have you ever been shot? Huh! I have.

It's, like, crazy painful. Anything is better than stabbing guy in nut.

I'll shoot him. I'll shoot him. I'll shoot him.

Okay. Goran...

I think he's going to shoot him.

Woman: Thanks. Have a nice day.

No silencer. Thanks, Fuches.

(newswoman speaking indistinctly over radio)

Woman: Fuck you too! Fuck you too!

Don't you fucking call me lady!

Don't you fucking call me lady, you fucking asshole!

You motherfucker! Fuck you too!

Don't you fucking call me lady!

Fuck you too!

Who are you? What are you doing out here?

Shit. I lost my place. Damn it.

Sally! He's ready for you.

Shit!

Oh my God. Thanks a lot.

Man: Strong... strong stuff you got here.

Boy. Oh.

What you got wrong with you, you need all this stuff?

Sally: You motherfucker. Man: What?

You fucking asshole. Who the fuck are you?

Who the fuck do you think you are?

Please, lady, why don't you just try to calm down?

Man 2: Bullshit!

Bullshit! It's false, Sally.

I-- look, I-- I know.

I-- I got thrown off right before I was about to go on.

I was outside going over-- Excuse me.

I don't give a shit.

Even your excuses are false.

You're up there, you're stinking up my stage, babe.

What the fuck do you want?

Um... the prescriptions.

Not Linda. You.

Little Sally Reed from Joplin, Missouri.

What do you want?

To be an actress? Again, I don't believe you.

It's all I ever wanted in the whole world.

Oh, really? Except you don't think you're gonna make it, do you?

I mean, that's what you told me.

Oh yeah. Last week,

she takes me out for a cup of coffee after class,

starts to cry, snot running down her nose.

All of a sudden she said, "I'm not gonna make it."

I'm telling you, I was embarrassed.

It was pathetic. Here is a person who's spending her money,

she doesn't have any talent whatsoever.

This chick shouldn't even be in this class!

I cannot believe-- That is not fair, Gene!

Don't think. Just finish the scene.

Don't you call me lady.

I come in here, I give these things to you,

you-- you check-- I'm sick!

I have sickness all around me, and you fucking ask me my life?

Have you seen death in your bed? In your house?

And then I'm asked fucking questions?

"What's wrong?" Suck my dick!

That's what's wrong!

Shame on you.

Shame on you.

Suck my dick.

End scene.

Okay, you know that I had to do that, right? Mm-hmm.

You know I love you. Mmm.

All right. That... was something.

Now, as beautiful Sally just demonstrated,

that's what this class is about: Life!

I want you to create a life

right here on this stage.

I mean, we're not here studying some fucking TV commercial acting.

That's not why you came to LA, is it?

You didn't move all the way across the country for that!