Firefly

I don't want it.

River, you have to eat.

It's good. It tastes like...

- It's good. - It smells like crotch.

- Jayne! - Well, it does.

We don't even have to go someplace fancy.

We can just go to the park or something. Feed the pigeons.

Sure, feed the pigeons. Probably get the firing squad for littering.

- Come on, it's not that bad. - It is. It's a core planet.

It's spotless. It's got sensors, and there's Feds.

All central planets are the same.

Could you please tell my wife the fun she's missing out on?

Ariel's quite a nice place, actually. There's some beautiful museums...

...not to mention some fine restaurants.

But not boring, like she made it sound.

There's...

Uh... Uh...

- There's hiking. - Yeah.

And you can go swimming in a bioluminescent lake.

Even if it's got sunsets 24 hours a day, I ain't going to that planet.

No one is setting foot on that fancy rock.

I don't want anyone leaving the ship.

Come to think of it...

...I don't want anyone looking out the windows or talking aloud.

We're here to drop off Inara.

Why come to the core if I can't even step off the boat?

You could have gotten off with Shepherd at the Bathgate Abbey.

Could have been meditating on the wonders of your rock garden by now.

It beats just sitting.

It is just sitting.

- How long will you be planet-side? - No more than a day or two.

Big stop just to renew your license to companion.

Can I use companion as a verb?

It's Guild law. All companions are required...

...to undergo a physical examination once a year.

Could you not do that while we're...? Ever!

So two days in a hospital. That's awful.

- Don't you just hate doctors? - Hey!

I mean, present company excluded.

Let's not be excluding people. That'd be rude.

Son of a...! God!

What the hell?

River, no.

- I got the knife. - He's bleeding.

- That's deep. - He okay?

River.

He looks better in red.

Gorram freak's completely off her axle.

- I'm sorry about this. I don't know... - Shut it. I ain't talking to you.

She gotta go. Both of them gotta go.

Ariel's as good a place as any to leave them.

- Might even pick up a reward. - No one's getting left.

She belongs in a bug house.

- You don't pitch her off now, I swear... - What?

What do you swear, Jayne?

They don't get gone, you better start locking up your room at night.

Next time she gets in a murdering mood...

...it might be you she comes calling on.

Maybe Kaylee or Inara.

You let them stay, we're gonna find out.

Finish your work, doctor.

This is my boat. They're part of my crew.

No one's getting left. Best you get used to that.

You owe me a shirt.

She's to stay confined to her room at all times, no exceptions.

Take her to the kitchen, infirmary, you ask me. Understand?

I do.

When I took you and your sister in, the deal was you keep her in check.

You can't hold up your end, we're gonna have to revisit the deal.

She's getting worse, isn't she?

Yes.

Just look at the bright side.

Maybe you'll meet a young, handsome doctor. He'll ask you out.

What's the companion policy on dating?

It's complicated.

- Well, that figures. - Stay out of trouble.

You too. Bye.

How we gonna find a job if we don't leave the ship?

Alliance territory, ain't any jobs worth having.

Where were the last three places we've been?

My pop always said, "Anyone who can't find work ain't looking hard enough".

We ain't even looking at all.

You can stop looking.

There's a client.

Me.

I have a job for you.

You've got a job for us?

One that'll pay for itself 10 times over.

Oh, forget it. We ain't that desperate.

Do you know what this is?

It's a common immune booster called isoprovoline.

Street value for a dosage this size...

...50 platinum, maybe 20 credits.

Propoxyn, maybe 80.

Hydrozepam, 200.

And all of these are what I had in the med kit when I came onboard.

At a hospital like the one in Ariel City, they'll have shelves of that stuff.

Whatever the take, it's more than enough payment for what I have in mind.

So the med vault isn't the job?

That's the payment.

I tell you how to get in, get out and what's worth taking...

...if you help me get River to the hospital's diagnostic ward.

- What's in the ward? - A 3-D neuro-imager.

If I get River there, I might figure out what they did to her.

So we get you both in there and you tell us...

...how to clean out the hospital. - Yes.

Not to be negative, but don't the hospital need that medicine?

Government-run facility. They'd be restocked in a matter of hours.

She's right. They'll never miss it.

Plus, folks on the rim sure could use it.

You know, it's very sweet stealing from the rich, selling to the poor...

...but you're talking about breaking into a secure Alliance facility.

How will you get around security?

Well, it's not easy, but it can be done.

See, like all core hospitals, St. Lucy's has its own dedicated security force.

A small battery of local Alliance Federals substationed here.

Now, every floor, every doorway is equipped with sensors...

...and at all points of entry, patient ident scans.

However, once clear of the checkpoints, movement within the facility...

...should be relatively unhindered. The standard layout puts the med vault...

Go back to the ident scans.

You and your sister are fugitives. How will you get in the building?

Through the front door.

Believe me, captain, getting the two of us in is going to be easy.

The rest of you, that is going to be the real trick.

We'll need to procure a few items off-ship. I've made a list.

Now, given my status as a fugitive, someone else will have to...

We have some volunteers. Good.

And before we make it to the front door, we have to breach the perimeter.

Only official vehicles are allowed in, so we'll need one.

Now, obviously, we can't steal what we need.

Any illegal activity in the planning stages could end this thing before it starts.

St. Lucy's Hospital contracts...

...with a local municipal dump yard for all its large disposals.

Figures.

First time on the core, and what do I get to do? Dig through trash.

Why couldn't he send me shopping at the Triplex?

Oh, synchronizers.

Big hospitals mean big waste, so we shouldn't have trouble...

...finding what we're looking for.

We'll have to look like we belong.

All we do is slip some bills into the right hands.

That gets us uniforms, ID badges and keycards.

A little creative forgery, and we've got ourselves a working alias.

Now, all these items are easy to obtain.

They'll get us up to the door. Now, in order to get us in...

Patients were cynical, not responding.

- We couldn't bring him back. - They were cyanotic...

They were cyanotic and unresponsive...

And we're unable to...

- Resuscitate them. - Yes.

- Resuscitate. - Resuscitate them.

Which methods did you use?

We tried pulmonary stimulators and cardiac...

- Infusers. - Infusers.

- Pulmonary... - Pulmonary stimulators...

And cardiac infusers.

- What about cortical electrodes? - Oh.

We forgot them.

- Let's try that again. - Yeah.

The pupils were fixed and dilapidated.

- Dilated. - Dilated. Dilated!

We got there, and the patients were cyanotic.

Not responsive, and we tried to resuscitate them.

And despite our best efforts, they kicked.

In spite of our best efforts...

- Which methods did you use? - We tried pulmonary stimulators...

...and cardiac infusers.

What about the cortical electrodes?

What's that?

We applied the cortical electrodes.

We used the electromagnetic... Reaction from...

But unable to get a neural...

Applied cortical electrodes but did not get a neural reaction...

Unable to get a neural...

- Response. - Response.

Hell, if I'd wanted schooling, I'd have gone to school.

I'll get it.

That's amazing. You two did an incredible job.

And now for the finishing touch.

If I didn't know better, I'd say you were ready to save lives.

- Now all we need are a couple patients. - Corpses, actually.

For this to work, River and I will have to be dead.

I'm starting to like this plan.

We're going to be asleep.

Capt. Reynolds will pretend we're dead to sneak us into the hospital.

Once we're inside, we'll wake up, everything will be fine.

You understand?

You're going to suspend cerebral, cardiac and pulmonary activity...

...in order to induce a proto-comatose state.

That's right.

- I don't wanna do it. - I know.

I don't wanna go to that place. I don't wanna die.

No, no one is going to die.

The others will take care of us while we're asleep, and when we get back...

- No, no, no. - Shh, River? River, it's okay.

It's okay. This, this could be what we've been hoping for.

When this is over, I'll be able to help you.

I'll be able to make the nightmares go away.

Okay?