Shrinking

I can't believe I'm helping Alice Laird packing for college.

Maybe because you don't. You pretend to be philosophical so you don't get away.

Time really flies.

It feels like you were only yesterday were Sutton's age, and now you're…

- Eighteen. - Eighteen!

You are a woman now.

- Ugh. - But only two bags for the whole school year?

Charlie and I are going away for a few months, and I have a whole bag for my Labubus…

Sutton's Labubus.

Dad drives the rest there when I move into the dormitory.

This is just for the football preseason.

God, I'm leaving in three days. I need more time.

You are ready.

I know. But you are not.

You will be alone.

Liz and Derek are going to Spain, this one to Tennessee,

and you blew the chance with Sofi.

I didn't screw it up.

I panicked and voiced my problems with your grandfather scaring her away.

- Like a pro. - As a professional,

who argued with his boss just before he moves,

and now you ignore each other like a couple of forty-something girls.

Which I like.

I can handle myself. I'm actually looking forward to it.

I can drink things straight from the bottle.

Juice, milk, soy sauce.

And I can walk around the streets.

Now I don't worry at all anymore.

- Soy sauce? - Sometimes I want sushi with soy shots.

Alarming.

Thank you for letting us stay here.

Just until our things arrive.

- Are you going to live in Connecticut forever? - Until I die.

I might do this on the couch.

- Dad! - No.

Maybe you carol on the mug like Elvis.

You have baseball practice. Come on.

- Who is Elvis? - Ignore it.

Why is he still around?

We are working on our marriage.

Sorry I wished that Jimmy had beaten Dave out of you.

- Oh my God. - Did he tell?

I always preferred privacy when I talked about sex with my dad,

so I'll give you a minute.

Thanks.

What? Jimmy blurted it out when he was angry with me.

It was a strange time.

Dave and I had separated, and Jimmy is so caring.

- It wasn't a big deal. - So he was safe cock?

- Excuse me? - Safe cock.

It means sex with no strings attached.

Like how Julie was sure cock

until she definitely wasn't sure cock.

Stop saying "safe dick".

What is "safe cock"?

Your mother shouldn't have said that.

I'll explain later.

You don't.

What's going on? Why is this happening?

What is it?

I thought we would wake up early and get used to Barcelona time.

It's "up and jump" in Spanish.

How do you say "I'm going to kill you"?

Okay, as you wish.

Hello, amigo. You are up early.

- Haven't you moved? - Yeah.

What are you doing here then?

Alice is leaving.

It's not time to leave Jimmy after all he's done.

So you're going to pretend to live here?

Just until I can tell.

It's crazy! He will be happy for you.

Hey Jimmy!

What are you doing up so early?

I don't know. People screamed a lot.

- It was us. - Why are you so happy about it?

Look what day.

Sorry. I was just talking to Derek on my way out of the pool house i slept last night.

Good story.

Do you know what time it is?

Everyone goes to bed again, otherwise te voy a matar.

Have you seen. She looked it up.

What are you staring at?

Usually when a boyfriend tries something new I usually think he's unfaithful,

but i think you got lost and improvised.

What exposed me? That I didn't know where the thumb goes?

Damn, I'm late. I have to get ready.

Well, and that expensive soap I bought? Don't use it on your butt.

Okay. But just in case, do not use it on the face.

Do you have any painkillers?

I can't hear you.

No, you're kidding.

You're kidding.

My treasure.

Darling?

I got an idea.

- What is it? - It's a good one.

We can undress and shower together, right?

Why are you breathing like that?

I always do. Why are you standing like that?

I don't know.

- A shower? - I can't.

I have an early patient.

- Hello then. - Give me a hug!

- Yes, a goodbye hug for you. - Thank you.

My boyfriend. Love it.

A guy hug?

Mothering!

Are we arguing or something?

I don't know. Perhaps. I have no…

Hi, Paul.

- Yes? - Hello.

How is the situation?

Good.

- How is it in Connecticut? - Can't complain.

I have my own chef.

Don't waste your pension all at once.

It's my grandson.

What's on your mind?

I am sorry to…

...it got a little crazy before you stabbed.

You were absolutely right.

What time?

How my feelings were about someone else.

Don't worry.

Typical transmission.

Ninety percent of my patients yelling at me

and realize the next day that I am not their father.

- I know you're not my father. - Do you?

Anyway, it wasn't like that I wanted to separate.

I was actually looking forward to it our farewell breakfast.

There was so much I wanted to say.

You are like that.

You always imagine that things will go perfectly.

But life is messier than that, and that's okay.

- Is Alice coming here on her way to Wesleyan? - Yes.

She is worried about leaving me alone, so I have to show that I can handle it.

And then give her the best farewell ever.

We are going to her favorite places.

When we are at the airport I give the perfect number.

I'm doing it again now, huh?

Yes.

But it's Alice, so I'll allow it this time.

While I have you, I just wanted to say that…

Dad, you can make your own sandwiches.

Hell. Must stop. Get in touch.

I have done everything on my grandma-to-be list before the trip.

I have arranged our old obstetrician.

I sent prenatal vitamins and an interesting article for them

about how vaginas never recover from water births.

- And you wrote that article? - Yes.

- Are you ready for eyebrows and boba? - I can't.

Connor treats me to an expensive lunch. It's our anniversary.

Do I? Is it?

Happy ten months and 13 days.

It's the third time you meet him instead.

Shouldn't we hang out as much as possible before college?

That's right, you're going to move. I forgot, because you haven't mentioned it in five minutes.

- Seriously? - Seriously.

- Seriously? - No, you are not involved.

I sense some disagreement here.

- Shut up! - Shut up!

- I intend to sleep with your brother. - No one asked for your damn opinion!

Why does this keep happening?

It's just the way it is.

Just getting used to it.

Don't teach our son that women are crazy. Let him figure it out himself.

- Liz! - Yes?

- Liz! Are you kidding? - Here I am.

- What are you doing? - You bastards.

Check in.

My God. He finally proposed.

He did nothing.

I found the ring. I tried it.

It stuck.

And what "finally"? Did you know this?

Of course. The Dereks talk about everything with each other,

Derek talks about everything with me, and that means…

Am I a Derek too?

Why didn't you say anything?

I didn't want to spoil the surprise.

I wanted to let you destroy it yourself.

I'm not ready for this. I'm grieving Maya and trying to change careers.

That's why he hasn't asked you yet.

He was waiting for a good opportunity.

It is not up to him to find it.

We agreed to talk about big things, and putting out 13,000 is not talking.

- Did you check it out? - Of course.

I am so proud!

We sit down.

Exhale.

Sow.

We lubricate the hand with lubricant.

Then you put the ring back,

and once he proposes will we be married couple-friends

who go on holiday together and doing crazy White Lotus stuff.

Does that sound good?

And when I drop her off at the airport I say:

“Just remember what I said when you were nervous about sleeping away from home.

Pull the invisible thread between our hearts.