Holey Moley

Hey! Where's my parking spot?

We had to cut back on parking spots this season.

What?

What is going on around here?

Oh.

This is disgusting.

Hey, do you have any of those, uh,

little caviar croissants that I like so much?

Oh, sorry.

Something's not right.

All of a sudden, you're, like, partying in Paris.

Joe, something weird's going on --

Just getting --

Travis Kelce.

Rob. How you doing, Rob?

Good. Nice pants.

What are you doing here?

I'm, uh, you know, just hanging out,

enjoying the day with Joe.

Just catching up. Old friends talking ball.

You may want to catch up with the bosses.

Don't think I can't tell what's going on here, okay?

I can see the writing on the wall.

Something weird is going on with "Holey Moley."

Hm? Oh, uh, m-me?

Uh, oh, uh, well, um...

What can I do, huh? Tell me. I'm desperate.

Excuse me. Would you like a latte?

Finally, a little respect around here. Yes.

I was speaking to Kermit.

Uh, oh, uh, you know what?

Uh, that's okay. Rob can have mine.

No, he can't.

You see? Something's up.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, gosh.

You know, I wish I could help you, Rob.

That's a great idea. Hm?

Yes, you and the Muppets can help save "Holey Moley."

Oh, no, no. I didn't really mean that.

I mean, what I meant was just -- Oh, this is good.

No, this is great, actually.

This is gonna be the biggest super collab ABC's ever seen.

Oh, really? I can see it now.

"The Muppets and Rob Riggle Save 'Holey Moley.'"

Thank you, Kermit. Thank you. Thank you!

Ohh.

You're welcome?

Uh...

Excuse me.

Can you tell me what "Holey Moley" is?

Yeah. Me neither.

Extreme mini golf.

Yeah!

Year after year, we have brought you

the best that sport has to offer...

upping the stakes...

Whoo!

...the hits...

and the damage to ABC's bottom line.

Oh! Oh!

But this season, we go for broke...

...literally...

...with the Muppets' help.

"Bear" with me while I try and find it.

It's a super collaboration for the ages...

Come on, buy me dinner.

...to help Rob convince ABC to pick up the show...

Will they make a Muppet of me?

...forever.

What?

Let's go!

Tonight...

we've got eight players, one winner,

and a final putt worth a quarter of a million dollars.

- Ohh! - Oh-ho!

Hi, everybody. I'm Joe Tessitore.

And I'm Rob Riggle. This is...

"Holey Moley"!

"Fore-ever!"

It's another stunning evening here

as we gear up for television's most exciting night.

And I can say, in my professional opinion,

this is the best yet.

I agree, Joe.

It's just like they say.

The fourth time's the charm.

Third. Third time's the charm.

They say third time's the charm.

No, I don't think so.

That's not enough times to find the charm.

You need at least four -- at least.

You're simply wrong.

Here's how it works.

Round 1, 8 golfers who are gonna face off.

The winners are gonna compete in that sudden-death Round 2.

That's where only the very best

will survive into the final round,

where you go for The Golden Putter,

the coveted Holey Moley plaid jacket,

and, most importantly, a spot in the season finale,

where one of our champions will make a putt

worth a quarter million dollars.

Ooh-whoo!

Let's kick things off with a brand-new hole.

It is time for a trip to the circus.

It is the hole we call Trap-Tee-Ze.

Our golfers putt off a ramp

and launch their ball through the air down to the green below,

then they have to try to make it to the green

traveling from trapeze to trapeze

with the help of a big dummy.

But if they don't, if they fall into that cold water below,

it's gonna be a stroke penalty.

Joe, is that a real person?

It's a dummy.

Who is that dummy?

That looks like an idiot.

Look how ugly his pants are. Ha!

It's actually you. Huh?

Uh, it's modeled after you.

Joe, look!

I'm a trapeze artist. You are.

Hey, here's our first-ever matchup on the Trap-Tee-Ze.

Nick Andrews is from Montana.

Stephanie Boucree is from California.

Hi. My name is Stephanie Boucree.

I'm 39 years old, and I'm the Golf Tiger Mom.

I am such a tiger mom.

Sometimes my son can't come in for dinner

until he makes all of his putts.

I'm crazy about golf. My whole life is about golf.

My husband and I got married at a golf course.

I have a putting green in my backyard.

I sell golf simulators for a living.

We eat, sleep, breathe golf.

I've trained my whole life for this moment.

Hello. I'm Nick Andrews.

I'm 31, and I'm the Cosmic Cowboy of "Holey Moley."

Yee-haw! From the wheated plains of Montana

to the farthest reaches of outer space,

my mini golf game is out of this world.

The Cosmic thrive off the night sky.

The stars give me energy. The moon gives me energy.

In fact, I call my stroke the Silky Way,

'cause it's smooth as silk...

Whoo!

...and always finds its way.

Alright, alright. Got this.

The tee shot on the Trap-Tee-Ze for Stephanie.

Golf Tiger Mom!

Has to make this or she goes to the dreaded drop zone.

Golf simulator sales executive.

There it is. This looks good.

- Nice trajectory. - Hell of a shot.

- There it is. - Off the back ramp.

Onto the green.

Aah! Oh!

Ohh! Ohh!

Into the water.

Are you kidding me?

Oh, she gave it too much.

Tee shot for Nick Andrews.

Come on, Cowboy.

It's just a yee, and it's just a haw.

Nick Andrews. This could be good. This could be good.

Back ramp. Ohh! Ohh!

Settles in near the ridge on the right.

Okay, okay. That's the way to do it.

With that, he has good position on the green.

Stephanie Boucree will be first up on the trapeze.

Remember, you go from one trapeze to the big dummy.

You're pretty gratuitous with the word "dummy."

Says it right here. It says "Riggle Dummy."

Let's call him a smarty. It's not what it is.

Arms straight. Shoulders back.

Got to stay dry, Stephanie.

Wait, wait. And then -- Wait, timing?

You're gonna tell me? Here we go. Ride of a lifetime.

Wait, wait, when you say "hop," that's when I hop.

Ready! Hop!

Aah!

Ohh!

Oh, Stephanie. Stephanie.

What I love, she was talking to the guys

up at the top of the trapeze,

going, "Now, when you say 'hop,' that's when I hop."

Wait, wait, when you say "hop," that's when I hop.

She was very concerned about all the business.

Hop! - And then, of course,

I think they forgot to tell her to hang on.

Aah!

Ohh.

Oh, that's got to sting.

Alright.

And now it's the Cosmic Cowboy's turn to launch.

This one's real. Here we go.

- Ready! Hop! - That means go!

That means go!

Cowboy reaches out.

Oh! I thought he had the Dummy Riggle arms!