Succession

- Welcome to the family. - Yeah, I'm finally in.

- Your sister's just in for the day. - Oh yeah?

Just to observe.

Rhea, we got her.

The family trusts her.

You get her on board, that's huge.

I want Pierce.

But it only works for me fast.

On behalf of the Pierce family,

the message would be a typically balanced, nuanced

and objective fuck off.

- Shooter! - Excuse me, excuse me!

- What's going on? - We just want to get you safe.

Where's Kendall? Is he safe?

ATN segment producer. It was a suicide.

We did have one thing to mention.

Twenty-four billion dollars. And they can trust me.

Would it be okay for me to maybe go to another department?

Stop pelting me!

Security!

You're not building a ride that you came up with

on your first day of management training, Roman.

Technically I'm your fucking boss.

Go to bed and masturbate all your ideas out.

- Maybe I will. - You disgusting little pig.

What the fuck is going on between you and dad?

- Did he make you an offer? - It's not going to be me.

Thanks, Richard.

Hey!

- Hey! - Hi!

Hey, how are you? You made it!

- How was London? - Yeah.

- Good. Yeah. - Yeah? You okay?

Yeah, I'm fine. Uh... Where's... Is Ken here? Is...

- Uh... I don't know! - Is Rom?

I don't know. So, are... you okay? What did you do?

- Who did you see? - Uh... Yeah, it was a blur.

- Are you okay? - I'm okay.

I'm just preoccupied.

Okay. But you don't think that...

- What? - You don't think it could be

- today that he... - What?

- ... might announce you? - No.

But...

Yeah, you know, full family briefing pre-departure

to the Pierces', where...

it would be smart to have someone to announce, so...

- Yes. - Yeah.

Okay. Well, why didn't you say, honey?

Because it probably isn't, so would you relax? It's...

I am relaxed. I'm just excited.

Richard! Hail, my fellow toilerman.

I have returned from real America,

bearing the gift of sight.

- How was summer camp? - Hmm? What's that?

Didn't catch that. I've been down in the salt mines so long

with my fellow Johnny Lunchpails,

I no longer speak One-Percent.

Mm, Roman, you were slinging candy apples,

not digging the Panama Canal.

I've seen the world for how it really is, Siobhan,

and it has changed me. I'm a kettle corn shoveler,

here to show you frilly clit-flickers the truth. Hi!

Mm.

Mwah! Hey, Con.

How's the hooker with the heart of gold?

... and, you know, I think that could be a way in.

Ho! Hello! Thanks, all. Um...

Cars are waiting. But first, some announcements.

- Frank. - So, as you know,

the good news is that the Pierces are entertaining

our offer, but, bad news, they're inquiring about

your moral character, hence this weekend.

They all wanna look us in the teeth.

Right. They want our 24 billion, but they also wanna be able

to ensure the integrity of their news outlets

- into the future. - And I want an onion

to taste like a fucking peach,

but there you go.

Before we waste a weekend, can I just check

why this time is gonna be different, Dad?

Lack of readership.

PGM is getting outflanked left and right.

The whole edifice is crumbling.

Oof! Well, that just screams, "Bye, bye, bye!"

I... I'm kidding. I get it.

Even Nan, the queen bee, is feeling the squeeze.

The Pierce Family Trust has fractured.

So, to ensure that everything goes smoothly,

we have prepared a few do's and don'ts for the weekend.

Oh, so, what, don't shit in the soup tureen?

Topics to stay clear of: Ravenhead, ATN, Israel,

Brightstar, and Cruise's rumor mill.

- Mm. - Steer onto gossip, investments,

art, movies... Tittle-tattle. Wider cultural interests.

Well, what if your wider cultural interest

is hate-jerking to Instagram? Just asking for a friend.

Ooh, me! She's talking about me.

What else? Oh, two drinks maximum.

Not big drinkers.

That's okay. Nobody here has any glaring substance abuse issues

that almost brought down the company, right?

Tom, we may have to shake you up a little, push you around a bit.

- Uh-huh? - They hate ATN,

- they hate our papers. - You're the strawman

for the sins of ATN. Cane your haunches a bit, okay?

Okay. Uh-huh. Could we... Could we may... perhaps...

- put the responsibility on Syd? - No, no, no, no.

I know what you're saying, but no. We, uh...

We need to wear the hair shirt, call you a shitbag,

and say that we never watch. Right?

Okay. Got it. Hair shirt.

Rhea and I will handle the big picture.

Uh, remind me again, does Rhea work for the company?

Uh, remind us, do you?

I'm just asking if we really wanna entrust

the fate of our company to another company's CEO.

- We can trust Rhea. - Okay. We don't know Rhea.

- I know Rhea. - Who the fuck is Rhea?

- Exactly. - Guys, what dad is saying

is, just know your role and execute, okay?

Well, my worry is that Kendall

may come across as too cool and likable.

Thanks for all your help.

We need this. Bagging Pierce is the key to our proxy defense.

And the defense is life itself. See you at Plymouth Rock.

- You okay? - Yeah. An hour late,

and make no secret where you've been.

- Yeah, we're good. - And, uh,

keep clean this weekend, eh, killer?

Richard...

- Oh! Sorry about it. After you. - No, please.

- Yep. Chivalry is not... - You know.

- Shit before the shovel. - Allow me to be the shit.

- Pinkie! - Yeah.

Let them take care of the bottom-feeders.

- We work on Nan. - Uh-huh. Okay.

- Good cop, misogynist cop? - Ah, well, sure.

You know, the woman thing?

- Yeah. Well, yeah. - They like your politics.

Okay. Uh-huh. Yeah.

I know you don't like this buy.

No, no, I... You know, I can see the logic. Yeah.

- I guess. - Good, good.

Anyway, my baby soon.

Hmm.

So, how's it going? The course?

Oh. Um, it's actually, you know, I mean, it's bullshit,

but it's good. Yeah.

Ah, well, I'm proud of you, son. Getting back in there.

Thank you, Dad.

But this weekend, don't mention it.

Sounds like you're back in business kindergarten.

Right. Thank you.

Everybody smile.

- I am smiling. - Yeah, not like a pervert.

Wow, Jesus. Check out fucking Papa Smurf.

Oh, this is too fucking weird already.

St. Francis of Assisi!

Are you ready for the rummage sale?

You've brought me animals!

Oh, welcome to Ternhaven, our city on the hill.

- Nan Pierce. - Pleasure.

I suppose you've been waiting for this moment

for quite a while, haven't you, greedy-guts?

- Well... - Teasing. Teasing!

Well, uh, thank you for inviting us to your home.

Well, I think we're gonna have fun getting a look

at all of you, won't we?

Uh, Nan, stop blabbing and let us at the canapés!

Come, come homeward. Promises to keep,

and miles to go before we sleep.

Hello, lovely to meet you. I've heard a lot about you.

Connor, I'm Marnie. Very nice...

Pleasure.

- Welcome. - Nice to meet you.

Gabriel. Nice to meet you.

Shiv.

- Hello, Eduardo - We've met before.

So, how are we looking?

Issue?

Naomi has flown in from Marin, which is...

a nice surprise.

What does that do to the math, then?

Does she... Does she have a share? What does it mean?

Well, it complicates it.

So, why wasn't I prepared for this?

Um... Because it's not my fucking job?

- And ask your people? - So?

She usually sits these things out.

- She has major juice with Nan. - Could we do it without Nan?

- Marnie! - Yes?

Hey. You, me and a martini, now!

Oh, yes!

Um... Oh.

Oh... Penis cat.

- Mm. "This wine is triumphant"? - _

- Uh... - No?

- "Your vagina trumpets." - Shh.

It's, uh, "I triumph in the truth."