House

Do you want a lean body for summer?

Well, the time to start is now.

No gimmicks, no crash diets, and absolutely no drugs.

Think healthy and be healthy. You can start now.

Just pick up the phone and become the best you, you can be.

Cut! Going again.

Sorry, did I mess up the commercial?

- No, it's fine. Are you okay? - I think it's cramps.

Oh, I have burning on my side.

Sit down, take a few minutes, and catch your breath.

- Everybody else keep running! - We're not filming.

We don't do this for the cameras. We do it for ourselves.

- We can't go with him sitting there. - Fine, but that felt phony.

At least let me get a little workout.

Maybe if I'm breathing as hard as they are,

I won't seem like such an evil task master.

OK, take five, guys.

- How you feeling? - I think I'm ready to do this.

You sure? That's it. That's the way to fight through.

Concentrate on those knees.

Lean into it. And lift.

- Lifting. - Come on, push it!

Come on, you're almost at the top.

Those eight steps are the difference between fat and thin.

Seven, six,

five, four!

One more!

Nice job!

You feel that burn?

That's your body carving out its new shape.

- New shape - Don't sit.

Just take it slow on the way down.

Oh, boy.

Are you OK?

You okay?

House - Season 05 Episode 10 "Let Them Eat Cake"

Sync: NIZ

Any idea why we're getting half as many requests for you as usual?

Democrats'health care plan?

At least we have one case that looks intriguing.

30-year-old fitness trainer suddenly can't breathe.

Collapses and breaks her ankle.

That's it?

You're not gonna argue why this case is beneath you?

No point. I'm in an elevator. Can't run away.

You can't run away anyway.

That's just mean.

Why are we still together?

We are going to our office.

Pronoun confusion.

Starts kicking in once you pass child-bearing age.

Well, that's just mean. My office was recently destroyed.

I thought I'd use the office of the doctor directly responsible.

The patient holding the gun to my head was the one directly responsible.

My desk won't fit in his cell.

You can use our outer office.

Where's Foreman and Thirteen?

Down in the GRC.

- She started her clinical trials today. - What's Cuddy doing in your office?

Other than throwing off the feng shui with her ass

that faces all eight sides of the bagua at once?

These walls aren't soundproof.

I'm well aware.

Normal CT means that her lung problem

has the distinction of having nothing to do with her lungs.

Steroids... No one looks this fit without cheating.

Anabolic steroids hack away at the immune system,

left her open to a pulmonary infection.

Muscles and curves.

My penis is so confused.

She's not on steroids. Her program's all about getting

in shape naturally, exercising, eating right.

And you know this because?

She has infomercials to sell her dvds.

What? I'm up late a lot.

And you actually believe what you see on tv.

- Go run the labs. - The labs are back.

And there's no sign of steroid use.

Can someone please read her file?

Can someone please stop backseat differentialating?

What about allergies?

She goes jogging every morning. Inhales car fumes during rush hour.

Perfect, except that she was jogging half a mile from the nearest road.

In the cold.

Cold air hits the lungs, sets off an attack.

- Exercise-induced asthma. - Nice try.

Except EIA doesn't account for the elevated BP,

if you'd read the file.

Come on.

Before the shrieking harpy melts my brain.

- Her BP's fine. - I know.

Exercise-induced asthma actually fits.

I know. You know. She can't know.

The only good way to test for EIA

is to recreate the conditions in which the attack occurred.

But we can't exactly make her run out in the cold on a broken ankle.

Get creative.

It's gonna be okay.

Any shortness of breath? Tightness in your chest?

- Feeling pretty good actually. - Not even breathing hard.

O2 stats and lung capacity are well within range.

Your cuff's slipping down. You want to stop?

I'd rather not. Haven't had any exercise in two days.

Take it you don't get a lot of fat in your diet.

I take it from your tone you think that's a bad thing.

- Do you ever indulge? - There's more to life than indulging

- your every whim. - I didn't say every.

But a whim every now and then can make life a little...

You okay? Trouble breathing?

No, I feel fine. Why?

No pulse.

This isn't asthma.

There a lot of other people in the trial?

I'm taking over the people that already started it at mercy.

So pretty full.

Stop.

One more time. No talking.

I shouldn't be here.

It's nepotism.

I know the guy running the drug trials, so I get a spot.

You have huntington's, so you get a spot.

One more time.

Just the fingers. No mouth.

The point of this thing is to improve neural cell longevity.

Which doesn't matter before symptoms. You should give my...

Shut up.

You can stop feeling guilty.

Your best tapping rate was 004 taps per millisecond.

Means your nerves have started degenerating.

You wanna work in here?

Fine.

Me too.

We'll split the desk, 50-50.

That side's yours. This side's mine.

You're right.

There's plenty of space here. Neither one of us needs all of it.

So that's your strategy. Taking the high road.

It's not gonna work.

Did you say something?

I couldn't hear you from all the way over here on my side of the desk.

- Patient's heart stopped. - We shocked her back to sinus rhythm.

She's stable. Test didn't set it off. Her EKG was normal.

She's consistent.

The lung problems had nothing to do with her lungs.

A heart problem that has nothing do with her heart.

Something is strangling her system.

Carcinoid tumor?

Find it, cut it out.

Can a leaking breast implant cause joint pain?

No.

And she clearly doesn't have implants.

Or joint pain. What's going on?

Got another patient.

I set up an online second opinion clinic.

People who don't like or trust their doctorse mail symptoms.

I can knock off four or five cases over lunch.

Clear two grand by emailing them back.

Ascending colon's clean.

- That's got to be illegal. - Only in 9 states,

and this isn't one of them.

Legal notice spells out it doesn't replace doctor's visits,

so there's no opportunity for malpractice.

- How come you haven't said anything? - It's no big secret.

I'm not very chatty.

You told us when you renewed your subscription to national geographic.

Small intestine looks clean. Moving into the pylorus.

So you don't mind if I tell House?

Actually House may sort of mind because I

because I sort of set it up in House's name.

Nothing in the bile duct.

And by "set it up in his name," you mean?

I mean, it's Dr. Gregory House's second opinion clinic

with medical advice direct from Dr. Gregory House.

You're insane.

With two days to live.

- House is never gonna find out. - He will if I tell him.

Or you cut me in for 30% and I keep your secret safe.

- That's blackmail. - Yes.

Moving into the...

That's her stomach?

It's the size of a shot glass.

Because our patient's a big, fat cheater.

Subtle.

No way you geniuses could've spotted this.

Gastric bypass surgery. She had her stomach stapled.

Then had the records from her files pulled

So it wouldn't ruin their dvd sales.

Can you do this outside?

I could, but that would defeat the purpose of doing it here.

- Where are the smart guys? - If you mean Foreman and Thirteen,

apparently the first appointment of the drug trial's an all-day thing.

I said yes to this?

Her gastric bypass procedure could...

Forget the bypass. Treat her like a fat girl.

Should we treat her like a 60-year-old asian man too?

- She's not fat. - Not on the outside.

But on the inside, she's still tons of fun.

When she was obese, she probably had type two diabetes.

Could've left her with nerve damage.

Ten points for doing what I said.