My Dad the Bounty Hunter

You fly around the galaxy, in a spaceship, catching alien bad guys?

Like a bounty hunter?

Your mom's gonna kill me.

I thought we agreed we'd never take them into space.

-Wait. What? -What?

About 20 years ago, I took a job,

and the people who were after her, they wanted her pretty bad.

-Instead of turning her in... - We fell in love.

-We're aliens? -That's what you got from that?

This time, stay dead.

You will never be safe.

We will never stop hunting you!

You understand?

We are everywhere...

Hoping the warp pods will get them back to Earth

before the kids' mother arrives to pick them up...

Whoosh!

...finally, they land on the front lawn.

There's not a car in sight.

The kids and their bounty-hunter dad celebrate.

Only as they step off the ship, who do they see

but their mother, standing in the doorway.

- -What happened? Do the kids get grounded?

Mm. Sadly, this is where the chapter ends.

Wait till next week to get the finale.

- When do we hear the next one? -Sean, could you come with me, please?

- - Oh, busted!

New data supports theories that the universe began

in a furious expansion.

So maybe, just maybe,

this will need to happen again before we ever see another life-form,

if there is any.

What are your thoughts, Lisa?

I was listening.

Oh, well, then could you tell us your thoughts on the presentation?

Uh...

You know, Mrs. Peeps, I totally would, but...

pshh, you don't want to hear what I have to say.

Now, Timmy...

-Hey, Timmy! -I wasn't eating the butter!

Ms. Hendrix, I asked you.

I suggest you start paying better attention in class, Ms. Hendrix.

Your grades will continue to slip otherwise.

Now, on the subject of gas giants...

Actually, Mrs. Peeps, I think that, given the most conservative estimates,

the known universe is approximated to be at least 93 billion light-years across,

and each of those light-years has their own stars, planets, and moons,

more than likely all containing their own life-forms

that we haven't even begun to explore.

And to be honest, we might not ever get to

with how slowly our technology is growing and how quickly our planet is dying.

Our planet's dying?

Everything's dying, Ashley.

Oh.

Which means, Mrs. Peeps, it's a little hard to focus on your class

when you realize that Earth is literally a tick on a hair

on a pimple on the butt of the universe.

- -No offense.

Principal's office. Now.

Rich, you're breaking my heart. Let's not beat around the bush, okay?

You know we want your business.

You've got certain goals to meet this quarter,

so what can we do to get you onboard?

Mm-hmm. You know, I don't wanna do this, but I think it's time to play hardball.

KRS.

Way ahead of you, girl. Hardball megamix coming up.

Now, Richard, where were we?

I know your business is important to you, and you gotta do what's best, right?

So if saving money's not important to you, then... Oh.

You will? Well, that's beautiful. Excellent choice, my friend.

I will send over the paperwork right away.

-Talk soon. -

Mm-mm-mmm!

The girl is good...

What in the...

These kids trying to make me break my neck.

- -

Hello?

Yes, this is she.

Wait. What?

I got here as fast as I could. What happened? Are they all right?

They're fine, Mrs. Hendrix. Please, have a seat.

There are some matters we want to discuss regarding your children in the classroom.

Oh God. Is it Sean? Is it the bullying thing again?

You know, I swear, if you let those little mons...

Mrs. Hendrix, Sean's doing great.

Oh. He is?

Yes. Oh yes. And not just that. He's brilliant.

So, so talented.

We were hoping to get you involved in the conversation

around publishing his amazing short stories.

Short stories?

It started as just a simple writing assignment,

but then, well,

we were just so blown away by what he did, we encouraged him to write more.

The characters, they're so real.

The story feels like it could have actually happened.

He's truly a prodigy.

"Robo-Sean hides in the bathroom stall,

while his bounty-hunter father chokes out a hyperspace villain near the sink."

Wow!

He really wrote all of this?

He even did some drawings.

Not just drawings. He storyboarded the whole thing.

-Probably enough for a whole film... -No!

No, no, no. I... I-I mean, we've seen enough of that.

I think, uh, I'll definitely talk to him and tell him what a good job he's done.

-Now, Lisa, on the other hand... -

MW12, MW12...

- -Tess? Hey. You guys here already?

Uh, not yet.

There was a little situation with the kids at school.

- Situation? Everything good ? -Yeah. No, nothing bad.

Just your son went around telling all the kids that aliens exist.

And Lisa, I guess, just decided she didn't need to do homework anymore.

She's on this whole "I hate Earth" kick.

-You okay over there, old man? -I'm not old.

I'm just... full. Had a late lunch.

I keep telling you to cool it on red meat. I packed you five salads this week.

-You knew this was bound to happen. - The dad bod?

What?! No! The space talk.

I mean, not the space talk. We had the...

The second space talk. The other one. You know what I'm trying to say.

So, we will definitely deal with it, you know, when they graduate

from college.

Maybe grad school. We'll see how I feel then.

Look, I know you have your reasons. I get it. I really do.

There's a "but" coming.

But...

Remember we said "no more secrets"? This kinda falls into that category.

I'll think about it.

Well, see you in a bit. We're on our way.

- See you soon. -Bye.

Hey, stop throwing my salads away, Terry.

-Bye! -

Terry.

Where have you been? We need you on the floor.

This place is a madhouse.

Bro, I know it's infected. Can you just tell me if it's contagious?

Right. My bad. I was just grabbing these for a customer.

That's funny, because the security camera caught you talking on the phone.

I know you have a family, Terry, but when you're here, you need to be here.

New Terry is chill Terry.

You got it, Brian. I will do better.

MW12. Male, wide, size 12.

Terry!

Whoa!

Where do you think you're going? You've got a customer.

Uh, Brian, you know, I'm actually off in a couple of minutes.

Oh, last time I checked,

"a couple of minutes" is still on the clock.

Man, come on. We're taking the kids to Splashtown.

They'll be here in, like, a minute. Where's Alex? Get him to help out.

Aw. Oh.

Alex is an idiot. And I believe your customer's waiting.

Hmm.

Welcome to Galaxy Sneakers,

where all of our shoes are out of this world.

How may I help you today?

I need shoes.

Cool. Cool.

Uh, what size are we looking for?

I don't know.

How about we measure your foot and find out, huh?

Sound good?

All right.

Just put your foot on here, and we should be good to...

-Hello, Sabo. -What?

Thought you'd be taller.

Terry!

Stay down!

- -

-Enough! -

- -

We're going to Splashtown! We're going to Splashtown!

What do you think Dad's gonna wanna do first?

-It's all been planned out. -I wanna go on a sugar run!

Yeah, that's not gonna happen. Okay, Miss Thing?

Dad!

-Stay here. -But, Mom...

Stay here.