Entourage

2:00 PM, Burbank,

flight 230, American.

All right, good deal. I'll have a girl there.

You want Rachel? Yeah, Rachel will be there, I guarantee it.

Thanks. You are wanted.

- Why wouldn't I be? - Go.

- Going. - Abby, don't hate me. You're going to Reseda.

- I love Reseda. - Sarah, I need you on the phone.

- What?! Where's the guy that does that? - I fired him.

- He stole Vince's MTV Award. - Oh.

- I'll replace him. Just do it for me today? - Sure.

- And where the hell is Alex? - I don't know.

- I'm here, I'm here! - You're late.

You're late again.

LA is so confusing.

You have a nav system.

You rely too much on those, Turtle, your brain turns to mush.

You can't even find your way home.

Looks like you can't even find your shirt.

Turtle, it's okay. She can wear mine.

- Yeah? - Yeah yeah.

See? We're all good. Just turn around.

- And don't peek, Turtle. - I'm not peeking.

- Okay, where am I going? - LAX.

- But first you take me by Vince's set. - Hey!

- Ed, go! - Send him, send him.

Oh, is this where they light him on fire?

- Yup. - Nice.

Jesus.

Don't worry, Turtle. I'm fine.

Cut!

- Uh... - Pyro resets!

- What's his problem? - Who knows?

- It looked good to me. - All right, get her, boys.

Time to reload.

- Hey. - Yo yo! What's up?

- How're you doing? - Good. You wanted to see me?

Yeah yeah, you remember Chuckie the producer, right?

How are you doing? Good to see you.

- Everything all right? - Yeah yeah. Chuck?

Vince, check yourself out.

- Oh wow, awesome. - Right?

Now watch this.

- Oh, not so good. - Terrible!

- Guess we can't use that. - No, we can't.

So do we get another double or?

We can get another double, but it'll still be shit.

Not gonna look like you.

So what, you wanna light me on fire?

- De Niro would do it. - Look, this is an important movie for me.

Yeah, for me also.

I don't want to bullshit the audience. They're very smart.

So you do want to light me on fire?

I don't want to light you on fire. This scene's fine.

The wide shot looks great. But we do have a big chase scene coming up.

And I want you to do the stunt. Not the stuntman.

You... driving that car.

I want the audience to look at you and go,

"God damn, that motherfucker is a badass."

Because if they don't, because if it looks fake, the movie's gonna suck, Vince.

And you're gonna wind up coming off like...

- Like a pussy ...like a pussy.

You don't want to look like a pussy, do you?

This is really good.

And everybody knows Johnny Drama likes a good piece of meat.

Hey, don't get fresh. Vince, you want a burger?

No, thank you. But, Turtle, see if you can get E on the phone.

Everything all right?

Call me.

Why didn't you just say no?

He was so passionate I didn't know how to.

He basically said the movie will suck if I don't do it.

That's ridiculous. I mean, he should have brought that up

in preproduction, or when they were making your deal.

For him to try and pressure you into doing it now is just stupid.

You know, I did the fall down the steps myself in "My So-Called Life."

- It was very liberating. - And your brain hasn't worked right since.

All right, E, I told Nick I'd do it, so what now?

Don't worry. I'll take care of it.

You better! Because if something happens to Vince, we're all fucked.

Actually only Drama is, since he's the only one unemployed.

My time is coming, driver. In fact, I'm gonna see Yagoda today

to see what show the network's ready to put me in.

- You coming with? - No.

- Turtle. - Why not?

Go with him. He's nervous.

- Fine. - Let me go too so I can take care of this.

Staff meeting is in 10 minutes.

But, E, don't make me look like I'm not a team player.

Don't worry, you won't. I gotta go.

Hey, Jennie, will you get Ari for me, please?

Jessica Simpson wants to come in for some TLC.

Says she's not feeling the love.

I think she's been down since her dog got eaten.

That was like eight months ago, right?

- So show her the love. - She wants you.

And so does Ryan Reynolds. He says he thinks

you're not speaking to him because you no longer show up for poker.

Okay, stop stop stop stop!

Raj, go buy Jessica a new cockapoo.

And, Steph, tell Ryan the reason I don't have time to play poker

is because I spend my life in here being bored to death

by you people, all right?

This is now the biggest agency in the world.

And I'm the head of it.

Which makes me the biggest agent in the world.

Now can anyone tell me why I chose

to be the biggest agent in the world?

It's so I can stop being a fucking agent!

So don't tell me to show the love.

That's what I pay you people for.

All right, so somebody give me something big.

Anybody, please.

Jesus Christ, you all suck.

If I didn't have a five-year lease on this place, I'd shut it down

and work out of a cardboard box by myself.

I just read the NFL is getting ready to resell the TV rights.

- I think they could use you. - Everyone could use me.

- Who are you? - Jake Steinberg.

- I used to be on your desk. - What happened?

- You threw me off. - You're back on.

- Throw the guy off who's on there now. - Seriously?

- Mm-hmm. That's him. - Ari!

Eric Murphy's on the phone for you, says it's urgent.

Somebody find out why we're not selling the NFL rights.

- They do it internally. - They shouldn't,

so somebody get me a meeting.

E! Long time no hear. You married yet?

October, Ari. I assume you'll be there.

Listen, can I keep the little groom from the top of the cake

just in case Sloan never lets you out of the house again?

I can carry you around in my pocket like I always dreamed of.

I can shove it up your ass too. I bet you'd love that.

Feisty, E. Are your impending nuptials making you tense?

No, not at all. I actually feel great about it.

That's natural. It'll pass.

Oh, come on, Ari. You're the perfect picture of marital bliss.

Like a hostage with a machete to his neck,

you have to put on a good face for the camera.

- You're all talk. - Yeah, maybe.

- What's up? - Nick Cassavetes.

What about him?

He wants Vince to do his own stunt.

He comes from a family of method actors.

They'll eat glass if it's in the script. Tell him no.

He already said he would do it.

He wants to do it?

- He wants to be a team player. - Jesus Christ.

- You represent the guy. - I represent everyone now, Eric.

- Can you take care of this or not? - I can do anything.

- Will you take care of this? - Fine, all right.

Try Nick Cassavetes.

And did anyone get a meeting with the goddamned NFL yet?

- Hey, Phil, how are ya? - I'm good.

I'm good, John. How are you?

A little anxious, to be honest,

since you wanted to see me face to face.

Let's smoke up, John.

- Smoke up? In here? - Yeah yeah, eh, fuck it.

You're anxious. It's medicinal.

Smoke up and you'll be anxious no more.

Okay.

So is this a celebratory smoke, Phil?

Afraid not, John.

Really?

- Have a drink, John. - Phil, I don't need a drink. I need a job.

- Drink drink, come on. - You must have something for me.

Afraid not.

I don't understand. You have three shows you're ready to make.

I'm ready to produce them.

The network's not ready to make them.

None of them?

Well, you know. Sit down, sit down, come on.

But "The Fall Guy" remake could be awesome!

We get Minka Kelly for the Heather Thomas part...

It's not gonna happen.

Jesus. So now what?

Well, you got eight weeks left on your deal.

We have to find something before it runs out.

Find it where?

I'm reading everything that I can get my hands on.

- But you gotta do your part. - What can I do?

Talk to your agent.

You put on a full-court press and do it fast.

Alex, you go to the airport at least twice a week.

I don't understand how you can get lost.

There was traffic on the freeway so I got off and tried to take the side streets.

And then this creepy looking cholo started following me

and he freaked me out so I turned off.

Not every guy that drives by you is following you.

He didn't just drive by me, Turtle.

He rolled his window down and said, "Hey, baby, pull over. Let's fuck."

- Where are you now? - I don't know.

Oh... oh, wait! I see a sign. I got it, I got it.

- We're all good. - Okay, good.

Oh come on, let me in, you cocksucker!

- I gotta focus, Turtle. Bye. - Bye.

- How'd it go? - I got eight weeks till I'm homeless.

- What's your problem? - Nothing.

- That Alex driver again? - Yeah.