Namaka

You're listening to M.A.U.I. Hawaii

Keeping you informed twenty-four seven

Stay tuned for The Night Marchers with Guy Torino

Starting right now

Aloha, friends. Welcome to Night Marchers Radio

The last bastion of forgotten knowledge on these islands

I am your host, Guy Torino

Phone lines are open so just give us a call

if you have any insights to share

Alright, next caller

You are on the air

What is your name and what is your story?

Am I on?

Oh, you're on

Hey Guy... I've been wondering

about that man you had on your show recently

The one who went missing

Yeah? What about him?

Do you have any idea what happened to him?

I do have some idea but

I'm pretty sure you wouldn't believe me if I told you

I don't know

I've seen some things

I'm pretty open minded

Well then I guess it's story time

Grab yourself a Mai Tai

Kick back and strap in

Because this one's a doozy

Whatcha watching?

Testing out my new hat-cam

Whatever the hat sees

gets recorded on my phone

Pretty cool, huh?

Super cool.

You know what would be even cooler?

If you were packed right now

I'm almost packed

Phase One was getting everything organized for the trip

Phase Two is just fitting it in the suitcase

Well my Phase Two is done

and I need to know whether you have room for my heels?

Why do you need heels in Hawaii?

In case we go somewhere fancy

Your parents don't do fancy

And we're gonna have a baby with us

Fine, no heels

Oh, give me your ring

I'm gonna put it in the safe

Smart

Let's not pack anything we can't afford to lose

Aren't you bringing your guitar?

Nope

It's staying here

Who are you and what have you done with my husband?

When we get there, I want to buy a ukulele

I was thinking the setting might inspire some new sounds

That's cool

It's "oo-ku-le-le"

"Oo-ku-le-le"

Mmm-hmm

"Oo-ku-le-le"

So what's with the hat-cam?

So I can record everything without looking like a tourist

You are absolutely gonna look like a tourist

Yeah, but they won't know they're being recorded

Oh, they're absolutely gonna know they're being recorded

But it's subtle, right?

Just don't go overboard with it

When have I ever gone overboard?

Car's almost here

You gonna finish up Phase Two?

We're leaving now?

I am

Okay

Let's do it

Here, let me grab that for you

So, how's you guy's day going?

Pretty good, a little chaotic, but you know

How's yours?

Oh, so far, so good, you know

This trip is mostly hanging out on the beach, right?

Mostly

And hiking, and snorkeling

And sightseeing, and all the other things

that I put on the itinerary that I sent you

But I can have some time to work on my music?

Sure

When we're not hiking and snorkeling and sightseeing

Sounds like you guys are going somewhere pretty cool, huh?

Yeah, we're going to Hawaii

Oh, nice. What's the occasion?

Nothing special, just, um

My sister and her husband had a baby a few months ago

So we're gonna meet my parents there

Aw, quality time with the family, I love that

It's a beautiful thing

How long is the flight?

Six hours

Ehh

Hey, it'll be worth it though, man

I mean, I haven't personally been to Hawaii

But I hear it's just beautiful

Yeah, we haven't been but we're really excited to go

Who's this clown?

Y'all in a hurry?

Ahh, could you not touch my car?

Sorry, guys

Sir, could you step away from the car, please?

Big hurry to get places

But then what?

Hmm?

Always trying to get somewhere

But you never arrive!

You can probably go now

Hey, have a nice trip to Hell!

And when you get there

Tell 'em Walter Notch sent ya!

Try it again... There you go

Okay, you're all set. Have a great flight.

Mahalo

All these cars to choose from

Of course, we get the minivan

I'm gonna go for a walk, explore the town

What'll it be?

What's good here?

It's all good, brah

Can you make a zombie?

Yeah, I can make you a zombie

A zombie?

That's a good choice

You know why it's called a zombie?

I assume if you have too many

You feel like a zombie in the morning

It's how witch doctors snare their victims

There's a neurotoxin in pufferfish

They slip it in a drink so strong

you have no idea that you're being poisoned

Puts you in a semi-conscious

highly suggestible state

becoming a slave to the person who drugged you

Otherwise known

as a zombie

Nothing but booze in this one

I'll take one of those too

Put it on this guy's tab

Excuse me?

Yeah

You can tell all your friends

that you bought Guy Torino

a drink

"Guy Torino?"

Are you famous?

You don't know who I am?

Is that bad?

Well, I mean, you come in here with your paparazzi hat

I thought you were either a fan or you're stalking me

Nope, uh, just on vacation

I brought that to record the memories

Why don't you use a phone like everybody else?

I thought this would be less intrusive

My wife and her family are a little camera shy

Hello, there

I'm gonna be guest starring in this part of your movie

This is the scene where the weary traveler

meets Guy Torino

and has no idea who he is

But Mister Torino was nice enough to sign his napkin anyway

Hipa Hipa

Hipa Hipa, Guy Torino

I'm Alex Cook

What do you do for a living, Alex Cook?

Ah, nothing exciting

I got a survival job

but that's just till I get the music thing restarted

Restarted?

Yeah, I was in a band for awhile

I'm a solo act now

Any good?

I hope so

It's what I love

Well, I love baseball but no one's bringing me to the Majors

Maybe you shoulda practiced more

Hey, what are you doing, bro?

You get like five bucks for that on eBay

Are you an actor?

I'm pretty enough

But, um...

Nah

I'm just a lowly little radio guy

My podcast

"The Night Marchers"

Two million downloads a month

Get to know us

What's it about?

It's about the truth

All the things that they don't want us to know

Who's they?

You're gonna have to listen to find out

Or, if you're in town for a little while, maybe

come to the studio, you can watch us do it live