Men in Black: The Series

We'll get you down, Whiskers.

Fire Marshall, Division Six.

We'll take it from here.

Who are these guys?

You never heard of us 'cause we're your best kept secret.

Dig?

That's an undocumented Macurdian sporting

non-department- issue-concealment.

Nothing is what it seems. I got it.

But this cat's mine.

Easy, Tiger.

You don't know what you're dealing with.

Plead all you want.

We're shippin' your mangy tail back to outer space.

Ahhh!

Here.

Steee-rike.

Gentlemen, watch the birdy.

You've got a lot to learn, Slick.

Uh-huh.

List the distinguishing characteristics of a Raynissian Skeezaloid.

No sweat.

Cheese-head dude with 17 digestive systems.

Wrong. That's a Noborian Skeezaloid.

Different moon.

Trick question.

You didn't do your reading, did you?

Hmm. Maybe.

You're not in the NYPD anymore, Junior.

If you're gonna tangle with a Skeezaloid,

you better know how to cuff him.

By the wrists?

Skeezaloids don't even have arms.

I know how to apprehend this alien.

With a rolled newspaper, and a short leash.

Stop, you're killing me.

I'm gonna choke on a biscuit, you're so funny.

Where'd you get such a wit for a partner, Kay?

Wrong again, sport.

This is not any newspaper.

This is the hot-sheets.

Nothin' is what is seems. Right, Frank?

I'm livin' proof, baby.

Read them.

Know them.

Okay, okay.

"Shellfish arrive from outer space."

A little far-fetched, don't you think?

Jumbo Martians with cocktail sauce.

Kay?

Hope you like the beach.

Shellfish thing is true?

The hot-sheets never lie.

Now what?

We're goin' in.

And we are wading in filth, why?

Remember the shellfish overpopulation a few years back?

It gummed up half the city's waterlines.

They weren't shellfish.

They were aliens.

Human beings tend to label that which they don't understand.

Makes them feel like they've got a handle on things.

So, what was it we human beings

didn't have a handle on?

Skraaldians.

From the planet Skraal.

They thrive in moist, humid climates.

Such as this fragrant palace.

They also multiply like gangbusters and they're grouchy.

You don't want to cross one.

I told you not to cross one. Use this.

And you wonder why we don't want them on Earth.

Release the safety catch, Tex.

You'll need to recalibrate.

Recalibrate?

Reject. Say hello to my oyster shooter.

No!

Noisy cricket! Ha!

Shelled you like a peanut!

Ugh!

Just a couple of CPA's having a clam bake, folks.

Don't forget to file your tax returns.

Cleanup, aisle seven.

Bring a scooper.

It lobbed on me.

Never use a noisy cricket on a Skraaldian.

Why not?Blows 'em up.

That's a bad thing? Dude was gonna mess up your haircut.

No. The dude was only gonna sting me.

I would have swelled up and turned the color of rotten eggplant,

but only for a week.

My mistake.

One you'll never make again.

What? You gonna fire me for saving your...

You're marked, Jay.

MIB dry cleaning will handle it.

You don't understand.

Permanently marked.

This is the last suit you'll ever wear marked.

You're a dead man marked.

Skraaldians possess a hive mentality.

They're psychically linked.

They saw what you did, they know what you look like, and they know where you live.

All of them.

Well, it's not the first time bad dudes have been out to get me.

Listen, Slick, this is a whole planet of dudes dedicated to your demise.

Four billion assassins locked onto your DNA, thinking about you every three seconds.

You're a celebrity, son.

Why didn't you tell me any of this before?

It's all there in black and white.

Can't we just nuke their planet?

Out of the question.

MIB's jurisdiction extends only as far as earth's atmosphere.

What.. What am I gonna do?

You? Nothing.

Leave it to me.What are you gonna do?

Leave it to the Twins.

They always come up with something.

Never mind Battery Park.

They're in the Brooklyn Zoo Orangutan enclosure.

It seems Karnelians like to hurl their...

Jay.

Jay? Heard the news, kid.

Sorry about the Skraaldian thing,

but if anybody can get you through this, it's Kay.

Effie? Shake down Bobo the Squat.

I don't want him doing diddly.

Whoa. Zed? Chief?

What do you mean if?

He may not show it, but this is breaking his heart.

Bee, have the twins line up another rookie.

Huh?Standard procedure.

Kay, I hear you may be in the market for a new partner.

Consider me.

I'm itching to get out of the lab.

You told Elle?

Not me.

I told.

It's always sad when the new guy goes.

But I'm not dead yet.

Don't. They're upset enough as it is.

Look, this is ridiculous.

Even if I am marked, who knows when the Skraal guys'll strike?

Could be today, could be 40 years from now.

Probably today.

Well, we're gonna have to have a look in your trunk, sir.

Problem?Code 51.

Visitor trying to smuggle illicit goods.

Seems like sort of a exo-skeleton.

Oh boy.

Kay!I've got just the thing.

What?

What thing? Shoot it!

No.

No.

No.

Kay! Shoot it!

No.

No.