Psycho Party Planner

Yay! Yay! Whoo-hoo!

Oh...

Hey, what's wrong?

You heard what the doctor said.

Well, so, maybe we get a second opinion, hm?

Griff, she was the second opinion.

Well

did you hear everyone tonight?

They think we're having kids, like, tomorrow.

Everyone knows we're trying.

So...

Maybe we adopt.

Celebrities adopt.

Politicians create bloodlines. You know this.

All right. So... how about we hire a surrogate?

All right, so I'm supposed to pay some woman we barely know

how much to help you do your job?

Excuse me?

The last time I checked, my only job

was to be a good wife and to become a good mother!

I can still do that.

Yeah.

Well,

apparently, you can't.

What is that supposed to mean?

-Where are you going? -To have a nightcap.

Or three. And figure out what to do about us.

What to do about us? Wh-what does that mean?

It means I don't know if I wanna be with someone

who can't have my kids.

That's not a part of the deal I signed on for.

You know, when I first met you, I always knew

you were a shallow prick!

But then I thought, "Maybe I could fix him."

But, apparently, assholes can't be fixed!

Yeah.

Well, at least we can thank my mother

for insisting on that pre-nup.

Okay, sophomores, thank you.

Oh. See you soon. Thank you.

I think we have to go with Carrington, right?

I mean, we don't have anything like her in the opening lineup.

Got it.

Guess what?

Early acceptance to a university,

driving distance from home.

-Mom... - You made it.

I made it.

-Congratulations. -You made what?

-The drill team. -Oh, my gosh!

Girl's got some moves!

This calls for celebration.

I'm ordering you and take-out tonight.

Oh, Shonda, honey, that's really sweet.

-But you don't have to do that. -Oh, I'm not paying for it.

Your new gallery budget's paying for that.

Hey...

So did Ms. Meadows sing you any praises?

Ah, praises? No.

She hardly game me a head-nod,

but that was a first, so I'll take it.

Yeah. Your dad's gonna be so proud!

Oh, oh. Hi, hi-hi, yeah. Hello. Hello.

So what does that even mean? I mean, practice after school?

You're gonna need a car or something? Hm?

Dad, don't tease unless you mean it.

-Well... -Yeah, honey, don't tease.

She hasn't even taken driver's ed yet.

I know, but I'm going to be able to next month.

Because you know what else?

Hm.

I'm turning 16 in October.

Oh, 16!

Our little one's growing up so fast.

-Don't remind me. -Where does the time go?

You will always be a little girl to me.

Don't forget it.

So is that what you really want? A car?

Because we did talk, if she kept her grades up,

we would get her one.

Well, I was hoping

that you guys might consider throwing me

a sweet-sixteen party, instead.

I-I mean, Misty and May on my team,

both had theirs last year

and they were asking if I'm having one.

When did you become Miss Social?

Come on, mom, is it so bad

that I wanna have a little fun while I'm still in school?

Besides, I was hoping to make it a benefit,

so to help raise money for kids in my class who need assistance

paying for their college applications next year.

Did you just hear that? That's our daughter.

Good for you. Yeah.

Okay, fine.

If you want a sweet-sixteen party,

we will throw you a sweet-sixteen party,

and it will be epic.

-Epic! -Epic!

Really?

Thanks, mom.

-And dad. Ahem. -And dad.

Well, I guess we have to find ourselves a party planner then.

Mm, why can't, why can't you do it?

Honey, you know I'm not good at party planning

and social stuff.

No, I don't. Why don't you, uh, tell me?

-Our wedding. Remember? -Mm-hmm.

I sent the cake to the wrong venue,

I hired that One Hit Wonders wedding band.

Honey, you know we both like One Hit Wonders.

Mm-hmm.

Okay, fine.

But you know what? This gallery opening, I'm just...

I'm kinda slammed, and even with Shonda, I'm drowning, so...

Uh, it's fine, mom.

If you don't think you have the time,

it's okay.

No, honey, of course, I want to help you

and I wanna be there for your big day as much as I can.

Um, maybe just from the sidelines, though, you know,

so I don't ruin your big day.

We are going to find you the best party planner ever.

My only daughter only turns 16 once.

Whoo!

That's what I'm talkin' about.

Well, just like kismet,

here we are.

Whoo! Go, Charlie!

How are we doing today, ladies?

Is that the kind of team spirit you're gonna be delivering

at our first pep rally in a couple of weeks?

I said, how are you doing today, ladies?

Okay, that is more like it.

I see we have a few new faces in our midst this fall.

For sophomores, "Kerry Anderson."

Are you Kayla Crosby's daughter?

Yes, ma'am, she told me

the two of you went to high school together.

That's right, we did, she was never really

the drill-team type, so I'm surprised to see you here.

But welcome to the team. Than-k you, Ms. Meadows.

You guys can all call me coach.

All right then, time to learn our first routine.

Hold on one second.

Yeah, I just feel like a sweet-sixteen concept for girls

these days isn't what it used to be.

Nowadays it can't just be some silly dance

where you crown the birthday girl

like an old-school home-coming coronation or something.

We're talking top 40s cover band

and a severely strict dress code for everyone in attendance.

A dress code?

No hoochie skirts two inches

above the knee.

No open-toed shoes, no tuxes

or prom dresses or anything tacky

or overall snooty.

I mean, like upscale casual,

but still something you can hit the ping-pong table wearing.

Ping-pong! I love that idea.

What mother doesn't? It's a great distraction.

Help all those boys keep their hands to themselves.

Well, I think I've heard all I needed to hear.

Kerry, do you have any other questions for her?

Yeah, no, I'm good. Thanks.

Nice to meet you, Dulcie.

Okay, you're next.

Love her.

And this is... Wait, who are you?

Hi. Lindy Shores.

Hi. Kayla Anderson. This is my daughter Kerry.

-Hi! Nice to meet you. -Hi.

I love your dress.

Oh! Wow, thank you. Well, I, I love your shoes.

Oh, thanks. I actually just got them.

My mom said the heel was a little high, but I disagreed.

Six inches would be a little high,

but two-and-a-half seems just...

Just right.

Okay. Well, they're growing on me, I guess.

-Why don't you sit down, please? - Thank you.

Wow! Lindy, you have a very impressive resume.

"Political fund-raisers, campaign banquets,