Entourage

CRASH AND BURN

Hey, Ari.

Where are you? It sounds like you're getting fucked with a jackhammer.

- $10 in the curse jar, daddy. - Sorry, baby.

- I'm test-driving a new car. - Matchbox or Hot Wheels?

Funny. Vince feels bad about giving away my Maserati.

Wow! When my father gave away my car

I was forced to lose my virginity on the back of a moped.

- What do you want? - The road to Bogota starts here, E.

You want "Medellin" you got to get Warner Brothers

to dry-dock "Aquaman 2" for 90 days.

Just talk to Haggis' people. That's what they need.

We'll tell Alan that when we see him.

He's the head of the studio, E.

We don't tell him shit. We ask nicely.

Ari, Vince really wants to do "Medellin."

He already started learning Spanish.

I know. He left 15 messages on the machine.

The wife thinks I'm fucking the gardener.

What the fuck?!

11:00, E. Don't be late.

A little early, isn't it, Gold?

That your car, Max?

Yeah.

It's blocking my driveway.

Oh, sorry. My driver must've forgotten to move it.

If I give you the keys, pull it around for me?

Who's in charge of you? I'd like to speak to an adult.

My folks are skiing Gstaad.

You want to complain about me, you can try my agent or my housekeeper.

Inez's English is for shit, but she's home.

Make sure that I don't see you anywhere near my daughter.

You like it?

Yeah, I like it, but I don't need it.

But you'll take it?

Yeah, I'll take it.

Good to see you finally embracing your inner mooch, E.

What about you, Johnny? You pick?

Really, Vince? Oh, I don't know.

Come on, we took down Spidey!

What kind of Aquaman would I be if I didn't take care of my super friends?

Oh, who loves you, bro? I'll take blue.

So, this beast is for me?

Actually, Turtle, I have another surprise in store for you.

Really?

Big Boy is gonna play one of Saigon's tracks on the air.

Are you serious? I've been trying to get him airplay for a year.

He's gonna give your number to anyone who calls in.

Get out of here!

That's awesome, Vince. Thank you.

- Am I getting a car? - Oh, Jesus.

- I thought that was better than a car. - Greedy bastard.

- Nice, Turtle. - You're right, it is better. I'm sorry.

I mean, I figure Saigon blows up,

you might actually be able to buy your own things.

You're right. I want to be able to stand on my own.

Thank you, Vince.

I'm just fucking with you.

- Of course you're gonna get one. - Tool.

- Idiot. - Tool idiot with an Aston Martin.

So we're gonna take all these to the studio?

Unless you think we're gonna look like schmucks driving the same car.

We'd be schmucks in Jettas. In Aston Martins we look good.

- And independently wealthy. - Good point.

Last one on the lot pays tax and title.

- Fuck that. - Oh, Turtle.

- Put on Big Boy. - Now?

Yeah, right now.

Yeah, baby.

Vince, it don't stop ringing.

Hello? Yeah, I represent him.

Can I call you back in an hour when I get to my office?

Vince, this is getting nuts. You think Ari would talk to me?

- Why would Ari talk to you? - 'Cause I'm in play.

Hello? Yeah, he's my guy.

What, I'm not Persian enough to get one of those, Vince?

Get us 90 days and then we'll talk.

Vince, last time you were here

I told you I wanted you in the Warner's family, right?

Well now, I'm gonna show you how we treat family.

Dana.

I'm like the studio's Vanna White.

That's some allowance.

Yeah, about $1 million more than your old one.

Wow. Thank you.

No, Vince, thank you.

Now we feel this is the start of a very

very successful relationship.

Yeah, uh, listen--

Vince is so excited that we're doing "Aquaman 2."

- That's good to hear. - But before we get into--

Before we jump into the tank,

Vinnie's got a little passion project

that he was really hoping to sink his teeth into.

Well, passion's important, right? What is it, Vince?

It's Paul Haggis's "Medellin." Pablo Escobar's story.

"Medellin"! Hell of a script.

Wow, Vince, that's a great role for you.

- What do you need from me? - We, uh--

- we have a slight scheduling conflict. - Very slight.

Mm-hmm, and you'd like me to push back our start date.

That's all we're asking.

Well, for how long? I've got a water tank

the size of the Staples Center out on stage five.

Who's gonna pay my utility bill?

Well, I have a $1 million check. How big of a bill is it?

90 days, that's it.

It'll really give people a chance to see a different side of me.

You do realize how important

how important this franchise is to the studio though, right?

I do. And it's important to me too.

I could give you 65 days.

Will that help?

Enormously.

So what are we supposed to do with 65 days?

What are you talking about? Paul Haggis comes from TV.

He could shoot 40 pages in a day. He can do this.

I hope so. What's wrong, Johnny?

This guy's been on the phone the whole time.

Vince, I need help.

I got to get back to the office. Anything else I can do for you?

- Just set the Haggis meeting. - Already done. What else?

- Pray. - Done. What else?

Uh, I want you to talk to Turtle. He needs some help with Saigon.

What, is he moving there?

He's my rapper, Ari, and he's blowing up.

- Okay, you got five minutes. - No, I need a sit-down.

- He needs a sit-down. - Okay, you know what?

I'm going to be at Equinox. I'll be at the Juice Bar.

Triple berry dreamsicles on me, okay?

I was thinking someplace more like Spago.

You know, where people would see me with you.

- 1:00, no sweatsuit. - Fair enough.

Are you 100% el certainto it was Max?

Yes, Miss Sarah, she was on phone with that Max

talking about a boat trip.

Damn. Did she catch you?

No, no, but when I asked about her plans for today

she said nothing.

She never lied to me before, Mr. Ari.

But she lied! She lied!

I know, it's that Max. He's trying to steal our little girl's soul.

It's all right. Listen, you keep an ear out.

You got a big gift for Navidad coming, okay?

Was that Mr. Gold on the phone?

No, that was El Salvador.

Okay, Johnny, you gonna tell me what's wrong?

Oh, nothing. I guess I'm the only guy in this house

that doesn't measure up to the Gold standard.

You want to talk to Ari? Is that it?

I've been waiting to talk to Ari for five years.

I'm an actor with no agent.

You know what they say, an actor with no agent is...

- Is what? - Is fucked.

All right, I'll call Ari,

but I can't make him represent you.

Putting me in a room with him for a real discussion is all I can ask.

He wants us to share a meeting? That's ridiculous.

Especially since I had the meeting first.

Ari's a busy guy.

That's fine. I'll take what I can get. Thank you, bro.

So you're just gonna hijack my meeting, Drama?

Hey, fuck off, Turtle. If it wasn't for me,

none of you guys would even be out here.

If it wasn't for Vince, none of us would have stayed.

- Yeah, well... - Well what?

- Shotgun. - Shotgun?

- On the meeting, I talk first. - Vince!

The guy called shotgun.

All right, it's time. Let's go bag us some Haggis.

Let's do it.

Yeah, I got to roll to my meeting too.

Our meeting, and I go first.

- Not if I beat you there. - I called shotgun!

- Math club, huh, baby? - Yeah, should be fun.

Never heard of a math club going on a boat before.

Oh, it's just a bunch of really smart kids, that's all.

Not smart enough.

How do you know it's Max?

A father always knows when his daughter's lying, baby,

and it's heartbreaking.

I'm not your baby. I'm 14 years old and you're spying on me.

You can't keep us apart forever. I love him!

Lis-- Sar--

Too slow, jerk-off. Oh no!

Hey!

- First. - That's bullshit. I called shotgun.

You can't then go and call first and negate that.

Your shotgun was called off location so it means shit.

- We're on location now. - So?

So, shotgun.

- Hey, E. - Yeah?

Ari says Haggis is a little intense.

- I don't want to freak him out. - So what do you want to do?

- Just keep him calm. - How?

Whatever he says, just tell him we'll work it out.

What does that mean?

Means we'll work it out.

- We always do, right? - Exactly.

Let's go get him.