Onze Jongens 3

Wake up.

Hey, Dave. Where will you sleep when the job is done?

In the villa of my smart, rich, and beautiful girlfriend.

Wow. Does that dream woman really exist?

Sure she does.

I just haven't found her yet.

And she has to want you.

Who wouldn't want me?

Quick, slow.

Quick, quick, slow.

Keep going.

Quick, quick, slow.

Jeanine, use your hips more.

Quick, quick, slow. Stop.

Quick, quick.

Step, cross, turn, over your head, and...

What's so interesting?

Oh, we're just enjoying the view for a bit.

We'll have a quick break. Grab a drink. Or a cold shower.

David, when will you do the shopping for a change?

- My inhospitable sister. - You've only got one.

And she wants you to chip in if you eat here four nights a week.

I worked at that dance school of yours all week.

To pay me back the 1500 you already owe me.

So? When will you chip in?

Soon.

As soon as he has a woman who is smart, pretty, and loaded.

Exactly. Like your woman.

But actually smart, pretty, and rich.

Hey, dude. Living with your ma again?

You sleep in your van. I'm saving for my own place.

We'll meet Tristan there.

Ready to clean windows?

No.

- Bye, honey. - Bye, Mum.

- Bye, David. Bye. - See you later.

- Bye. - Bye.

Thanks for doing this with me. It's easy money, really.

Sure it is. Money's money. Sophie needs it.

- Nice, man. - You know it.

- No moves? - His ma won't let him.

G, I'll take you on any day.

Come on then.

Show us.

Check this.

Let's go.

Nice, Jerry.

Oh, you can do it too!

Better take that off.

Coffee, guys?

Don't be shy now.

Never use your back for lifting. Use your legs.

I did this whole pile and now you're telling me?

3, 2, 1, lift.

Sorry, man, for being late.

I couldn't tear myself away from my girl.

Did you get any sleep at all?

What do you think?

I didn't even get any breakfast.

Oh, boy.

Can I have one?

See? We should have left earlier.

No, perfect timing, they're done.

- Hi guys. - Can't tell the time then?

How's it going here, ladies?

Not too bad.

Bas?

Got time for a rush job? A whole roof, finished today?

- What? Today? - Yes. Good.

A whole roof?

Are you sure this is it?

Yep. Sure.

- Nice area. - The roof looks fine.

Dunno. A leak, maybe?

Let's get to it, come on.

- I really need to pee. - The side door there.

- Hi. - Hi.

You brought some fine equipment.

They can go change in there. The ladies will be ready in ten.

Change? Ladies?

- Hi. - Hi.

That looks good.

A hammer drill. Bam, bam.

Bam bam, indeed.

Ladies, let me check: You want us to replace the roof, right?

Oh, I said on the phone: Raise the roof.

That's so funny.

Wait, we still have the same number we had before Miami.

- What was in Miami? - Oh, nothing.

Oh, the ladies want a strip act.

Yes. Duh.

Are you the bride?

No, fortunately not.

The bride is about to be forced into a chair to watch a he-man

with an ego like that and a wiener like that.

Not that size matters.

No, it's what you do with it.

Yeah.

And the he-man is the groom?

No, they ordered some strippers.

- Sounds like fun. - Don't know. It's too predictable.

Guys dressed like cops, saying things like:

So, little lady, I'll have to frisk you now.

You seem to know a lot about it.

Sadly.

I think we should stop objectifying and sexualising bodies.

Shit.

Yes, I agree.

It's a terrible tradition.

- Anyway. Can I help you? - I need to pee.

'Use the bathroom.'

- It's over there. - Bathroom. Right.

Thanks.

I'll pay double, half up front.

My daughter Helene gets a lap dance.

You'll know her by her tiara.

- She'll pay double this amount? - Awesome.

- Can we... - No, we can't. They want strippers.

- What time are they coming? - They're here, you dork.

- We're the strippers. - No way.

They thought of this when they saw us?

Sure.

- I'll give the money back and we'll go. - Bas.

Bas, strippers are just hunks

with big egos and small... hearts.

- We can do this. - Have you ever done a strip act?

You just come in and say:

So, little lady. Stand up straight.

I'll have to frisk you now.

I'll be forced to touch you here and here and here.

Exactly.

Boys, I say let's do it. Jerry?

No way, dude.

- Marcus? - I didn't wax this morning.

Tristan?

I promised to be home early.

She'll cry again if I'm late. Sorry, man.

I have to leave early.

- Boys. - See ya.

I could really use the money.

I really didn't wax.

This is just like in school.

I don't know, G. In front of all those people?

Please. Just do what I do.

Come on. You're my best friend.

Fair's fair, you guys are wildly attractive.

And it really is a lot of money.

That I really need.

- Come on. - Okay, let's do it.

But only for you, and if Bas is okay with it.

I say go ahead.

Dear ladies, and most of all, dear Heleen.

It's been an honour for me to organise your hen party.

I hope this performance will be

the start of a life of love and happiness.

I knew it.

I knew it.

I used to run a strip club in Miami.

- For real? - Yeah.

A good strip act isn't easy.

And besides, times have changed.

- Well... - Yeah.

Watch this. They'll scream now. 3, 2, 1.

Where are you going?

- Sorry, Bas. - It's okay, man.

I was just telling Marcus, a good strip act is hard.

No.

David.

Hey, dude.

Twerk the other way, man. She doesn't want this.

What's that now?

I told you no, asshole.

I told you no.

Stupid prick.

Thanks a lot.

What an asshole.

Oh, boy.

No, thanks.

I'll just, er...

Next thing, it'll be all over the web.

So they actually stripped?

If I had known that beforehand...

Then what?

I'd have been more flexible in our contract negotiations.

There was no way you could have known.

This was an old client of mine.

Of us, of the business.

I've had guys here in the past who offered adult entertainment.

- Did you yourself...? - What?

Strip?

No, silly.

I mean, look at me.

No, no. Can you imagine?

I can, actually. I'd buy a ticket.

Anyhow, if you're ever not sure,

ask them if they want us to bring our special polishing tools.

- Special tools? - For oiling things.

Oiling.

Moisture issues, that kind of thing.

Let me get this straight.