Hacks

We're going backwards.

Felt better a week ago.

Okay, hear me out.

Maybe we're working too hard.

Maybe we need to rest our brains.

DJ's texting you.

- How do you know? - I can read it from here.

Your text setting is enormous.

It's like the top row of an eye exam.

Ever since she decided to have a kid,

DJ's obsessed with our family heritage.

- Oh, I did that, and I found out

I had a second cousin who lived an hour away

who did not wanna get coffee.

- Huh, it appears I'm a descendant

of a person in the Salem witch trials.

Betty Parris.

- Wait, could we use this for the show?

Like, maybe this is the through line

we've been looking for.

Oh, maybe.

Um, something about how her story mirrors mine.

- Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. - Umm,

beautiful, brilliant woman

blazing her own path in a male-dominated world.

- Yes! - Unfairly persecuted.

- Found guilty in the court of public opinion.

Burned at the stake. - Yes, exactly!

Oh, this is good. This is good.

Um...oh, oh, I know. I know how it could start.

Ooh, shoot.

What?

- Okay, it turns out Betty Parris was actually

one of the Salem witch trial accusers.

She and Abigail Williams kinda kicked the whole thing off.

Lotta innocent women dead.

Her fault.

Mm. - Mm.

Well, I don't need

a stupid through line for my show.

- Not at all. Literally dumb.

- Not my department, and I know you hate puppets,

but I was thinking that... - I know.

I know.

Babe, hi.

Oh, I am in such a rut.

I need you.

Yeah.

How quickly can you get to Memphis?

Hi!

Thank you for the ride,

and remember, love can be an addiction, too,

so set boundaries.

It'll be good for you and her.

I love you so much. Bye!

Thank you! - Kiki!

Yay.

What else?

Oh, I got a haircut.

But it kinda grew out, so you can't really tell.

- It's cute. - Thank you.

And there's this really weird smell

in Vegas right now.

No one knows what it is,

but I think it's feet. - Feet?

- All those shoes people leave behind?

When I'm at my table, girls will literally take off

their high heels, and they will never, ever come back for them.

- No, it's true. The Palmetto lost and found

is full of Jessica Simpson-brand shoes.

I go a lot 'cause I keep losing my retainer.

But don't worry. I always find it.

- Anyway, I'm just happy to be here.

I've always wanted to visit, and I love Memphis music.

- Wait, really? Like what? Like... like Elvis?

- No, like Three 6 Mafia, Pooh Shiesty, Project Pat,

Young Dolph, Yo Gotti, NLE Choppa.

Really? Hello!

Oh, Deborah, that's 24. I'm sorry.

Yes, I can count.

- Hm. - Ugh!

Damn it.

I need this to get back

into my pre-show rhythm.

Come on, bust, bust, bust, bust, bust, bust.

- Ava wins. - Shh.

Oh, Deborah's suing me.

Stop trying to cheer me up.

- Um, not to add more to your plate,

but you should know that Axel is here.

- Axel Axel? - Yes.

Apparently, his restraining order lapsed

a couple years ago. - Sorry,

but who is Axel Axel?

- One of Deborah's stalkers. - One of?

How many stalkers do you have?

Living? 12.

Mm, 11.

Donna died.

Oh, she did?

Oh, she was sweet.

What an athlete.

She scaled that 30-foot pergola like it was nothing.

I mean, seriously,

my little sister steals my husband.

She used to just steal my dolls.

But seriously, that...

that was the worst feeling in the world.

And I once bombed so bad at a USO show,

they put me on the No Fly List.

- So for tomorrow, we have requests

for two radio interviews.

One's with "Gonzo and the Bean."

Let's do the other one.

Wait a second. Where's... where's Axel?

Where's Axel?

Is that him?

Is he leaving?

Hey, Axel.

Wait. Ax... Axel!

Axel! Hey, hey!

Hey, hey, Axel, Axel, Axel.

- Oh, wow! Hi! - Hey.

Hi. - Deborah.

Hi.

How you doing?

- I'm doing better. Thank you for asking.

Got my own apartment.

Just started working at Best Buy.

- Good, good, good, good. So, um...

did you... did you see the show?

Yeah, yeah.

It was good.

It was different. - Yeah, it's a whole...

it's a whole different thing, so...

what'd you think?

- I mean, you're always great to watch.

I don't know, it just wasn't the Deborah Vance I'm used to.

- Oh, you mean the Deborah Vance that you sent

a Ziploc bag full of pubic hair to?

I don't do that anymore.

There were some funny jokes, but... but...

it just...

it was kind of a bummer,

and I didn't really expect that from you.

I miss the Deborah who takes everyone down.

Yeah. Huh.

Well, nice to see you, Axel.

- Oh, quick question while I have you.

Do you know if Chelsea Handler still lives

in Brentwood, California?

No, I don't,

and I wouldn't tell you even if I did.

- You know, she never visits Chuy's grave.

Goodbye, Axel.

- Oof, it's so scary having a stalker.

Oh, you kinda get used to it.

- Someone obsessed with you who could just show up

at any moment.

- Ava! - Oh!

Mom.

- What are you doing here? - Well, you said the tour

was in Memphis for a couple nights,

and you said... you said it would be fun if I visited.

- Those were two different conversations,

but hi.

- Oh, honey. Oh, it's so good to see you.

- Hi, I'm Kiki. - Hi.

- Oh, uh... uh, Kiki, this is my mom, Nina.

Mom, this is my friend Kiki.

A friend!

Oh, Kiki, it's so nice to meet you.

Ava's never mentioned you.

I did, actually.

No, it's okay.

I'm kinda hard to describe anyway.

Kinda have to experience it.

I love your hair. - Oh, thanks.

Well, they're extensions.

No, I... I know that.

- Well, hello. - Hi. Oh, Deborah.

- Hi. - It's so good to see you.

- Hi. How are you? This is fun.

I didn't know that you were coming to visit.

No one did. No one did.

So, uh, Mom, Kiki and I were gonna go to a bar,

but I guess we can get you settled at the hotel.

- Oh, no. No, let's go out.

We can all go, right?

- Um, no, Deborah doesn't wanna go...

Oh, I need to.

My own stalker just ran away from me.

I could use a couple of drinks.

Whoo! Girls' night out!

- Yeah, that's what girls' night out is:

just two friends, someone's mom, and their boss.