Entourage

I WANNA BE SEDATED

Yo, heads up.

- So? - So what?

- So how do I look? - You look okay.

Why are you so dressed up?

You guys are kidding me, right?

What is today?

- What's today? - What is today?

- Is it your birthday? - No, it's not my fucking birthday.

I can't believe this.

I got my record deal signing with Sammy Kane.

- Is that today? - Oh damn, I forgot all about that.

Oh, good luck, buddy.

Biggest day of my life and you forgot.

You guys really suck.

Okay, Turtle!

Guy's finally breaking his cherry. Gonna make a buck.

Don't fuck with the hat, it's new.

How could we forget? Look what everyone did.

- I made your favorite. - Raspberry frosting.

Yeah, and I cut the crust off just the way you like it.

Nice!

- I had the truck detailed. - Really?

And I'm gonna be driving you today.

Unbelievable. What'd you do, Vince?

- I think I've done enough, Turtle. - True true.

But it is still payday.

You know what? I don't think I'm gonna be needing that anymore, Vin.

- What about parking? - Maybe a 20?

All right, thanks, guys. I gotta roll.

I do not want Saigon beating me to this meeting.

I programmed the G.P.S. We'll have you there in no time.

All right, let's roll. Thanks again.

- Have a good one, Turtle. - Later, guys.

It's sad to watch the kids leave the nest.

Well, now that they have, let's talk adult business. You coming to see Ari?

- No. - We haven't heard from him in a week.

It'll make a stronger statement if you're there.

I think it'll make a stronger statement if I'm not.

Plus I'm headed out. I'm gonna grab a couple books.

- By yourself? - Can't go to a bookstore by myself?

- You don't drive. - Yeah, but I do read, E.

I do read.

Come on, come on, come on.

Where the fuck is Saigon?

Maybe he got clipped in a drive-by,

- that would suck. - I'm calling him again.

It's right to voice mail.

Yo, Sai, it's Turtle... again.

Where are you, man? Call me back.

You know what? Just get to the meeting.

Don't even call me back.

This is so fucked.

All right, Mr. Kane's ready for you.

You can come up with me.

What are you gonna do?

I have no idea.

Say a prayer.

Always wanted to do the new Puffy album.

- Hey, yeah. - I love this town.

Hey.

Hey, sorry to keep you waiting, Turtle.

It's no problem at all.

So what's going on, Mr. Kane?

Just life. So where's Saigon?

He's running a little bit late

but he should be here any minute.

Any minute? It's 10:30.

Yeah. Why don't we get started without him?

- Started on what? - You know, the paperwork,

the signatures, all that stuff.

I mean, we can get started on that.

Look, you even got this nice pen.

Don't touch the pen, Turtle. That pen is for artists only.

Gotcha. Sorry.

- What the fuck is going on? - Nothing.

- Are you trying to fuck me? - No.

Then why are you sweating like the guy in "Midnight Express"?

Where is your client, Turtle?

I have no idea.

You've got till 5:00 to produce him or the deal goes away.

Hi, Eric. Wh do you think of the new space?

Looking fancy. Ari around?

Go on in. He's just going through fabric books.

Remember me?

One never forgets their first love, E.

- Where've you been? - Been right here.

It's tough to leave this paradise.

Come look. I'm putting in a shower

right here with a steam.

If you promise to drop your towel I might even let you use it.

Big fancy new agency, suddenly we're not a priority?

Got a lot of priorities, E.

Two weeks ago when you had nothing, it was all Vince all the time.

I sent over 20 scripts. He won't read them.

He read them. He didn't like them.

When Vince is ready to work, I will work for him.

You know, you really are a front-running douche bag, you know that?

Bob Ryan is outside. He said to tell you

that he will hoist himself on his own petard if you don't come see him.

I don't know what it means but it sounds dangerous.

You're not seriously leaving in the middle of this conversation?

Conversations usually end after one person calls the other a douche bag.

You called him a douche bag? He doesn't like that.

Ari!

Check out the new Italian marble, E. I'll be right back.

Who gave Bob the new address?

Not me.

Don't spend the whole day reminiscing, Ari.

Don't tell me how to do my job, Barbara.

Well well, you know I'd have an easier time

getting a face-to-face with Osama Bin Laden.

Try making an appointment, Bob.

Appointments are for salesmen, kid. Come here.

What...

What can I do for you, Bob?

Finally pay me back for helping you sign

Billy Friedkin when you were barely out of the mailroom.

How many Mrs. Beasley's Baskets will it take to make you smile?

Just throw me a movie star I can take to the studios.

And you know I'm not leaving until you do.

I know. I know.

E! You know Vincent Chase?

Vincent Chase? I haven't seen a kid that good-looking

since I was that good-looking.

Meet Eric Murphy, Vincent Chase's manager.

- Hi, nice to meet you. - Hi, nice to meet you.

This is Bob Ryan. He's a legend.

The guy has almost as many Oscars as John Williams.

He produced "Network," "The Sting,"

"Dog Day Afternoon," many others.

Wow. Those are great movies.

What if I was to tell you I have a movie better than any of those

that would be perfect for Vincent Chase?

Now would that be something you might be interested in?

- Definitely. - Boom, I'm a matchmaker.

I love it. Have lunch, talk it over. How about that?

- My driver's waiting outside. - Great.

- Come, let's go. - Thanks, Ari.

Thanks, Ari.

- That was mean. - To which one of them?

Hey, thanks, man. Keep the change.

No, Turtle, there were no calls at the house.

I don't know what the fuck to do, Vin.

I don't know where he is. This is bad.

I'm sorry, Turtle. Anything I can do?

No, I'll figure it out.

- Call me if you need me. - Thanks, Vince.

All right, later.

I'd be careful if I were you.

Why is that?

I saw paparazzi out there. I don't think you want

to get busted checking out your own picture.

Good looking out.

No problem.

I thought we were going to the Ivy.

Oh, forget the Ivy.

What if I was to tell you that my chef Raoul Pepefirio

made a steak so delicious that Cliff Robertson

used to come to the house three times a week just to eat it?

Now would a steak like that be something you might be interested in?

Yeah, sure. I like steak.

Great. And wait till you see my maid Marsha.

Quite the stunner.

Marlon Brando used to come to the house three times a week

just to stick it in her ass.

And that was before it was fashionable.

- Where is your house, Bob? - What?

My second time coming to this neighborhood without my nunchucks.

I am not happy.

Oh, you're not happy?

I got 40 grand riding on finding Saigon in the next four hours.

If I don't, I'm gonna kill myself by eating all your propecia pills.

Relax, Turtle. Relax.

Hey, Turtle. How're you doing?

- Not great. - Oh, what's the problem?

Well, me and Saigon had our big record signing today

and he didn't show. I was just wondering if he was okay.

Oh, I don't know nothing about that.

You don't know about the record signing or you don't know if he's okay?

I don't know nothing about nothing.

- He's not home, is he? - No, he ain't here.

You need to excuse me. I've got my church group inside

and it's not polite to keep the Lord waiting.

No.

- Hmm. - Something here ain't right.

Yeah, no shit, Columbo. But how does that help me?

What are you doing? Drama!

There's a plasma the size of a Cadillac.

But I don't hear any gospel music.

What the hell are you boys doing?

Sorry to bother you again, ma'am,

but can I use your phone, please?

It's a local call. Won't take very long.

Okay, hurry it up.

- You making the call or what? - No.

- I'm all good. - Good.

Oh, ma'am. I'd like to ask you one more thing.

You didn't ask me anything.

Do you know anyone staying at the Standard Hotel?