iCarly

Subs created by: David Coleman.

Yo yo, momma got da pie.

Yay, I'm so hungry.

Lemme see lemme see.

- Yeah. - All I've been thinking about is..

Where are the pepperonis?

Aw man. They forgot the pepperonis.

If they forgot the pepperonis, then why are there pepperoni-sized circles

in the cheese?

Uh..

You ate the pepperonis.

I did not, I swear on Freddie's grave.

Freddie's alive.

Open your mouth.

Wider.

Ah..

There's no pepperoni smell.

Told you.

It's locked.

Yeah yeah, hold your fudge.

Me want peeeet-zaaaahhh.

It was twenty bucks.

Me want seven dollars.

I need three back.

Me don't have change.

Lemme at them pepperonis.

They forgot 'em.

Aw, they did?

Yup. Those jerks.

Hi everyone.

Hey Gib. What you doing here?

Uh, my Mom dropped me off.

She's taking guppy to see his therapist, so I got four hours to kill.

Well, hey, if you want some pizza..

Then you better hack up seven bucks.

Nah. I gotta pass on the pizza..

Because I spent all my cash on this.

You bought a laser pointer?

No!

I bought my dream.

An exact replica of the phaser they used in Galaxy Wars.

- Weeeee. - Wow.

Whoa man, that thing's really cool. Can I hold it?

Wait! Are your hands clean?

- Yeah. - Let's see 'em.

Now you may touch it.

Awesome.

Oh, man.

This couldn't look more real if it was actually made by Star Fleet.

This is pretty sad.

No it's not.

Hey Freddie, Gib..

Check out the TV..

Cheerleaders underwater.

- Shh! - Hush!

It's sad.

How much was this thing?

Seven hundred bucks.

Whoa!

Well, go man, try it out!

Okay!

Oh.

Oh, that's good.

Oh man that is nice.

Ah!

Want some pizza?

No!

Where are your clothes?!

- Ask Chuck! - Chuck?

The mean kid who lives upstairs?

Who locked you in the basement and squirted you with water?

I wish it was water!

He attacked you again?!

Yes!

He and some of his little eighth grade thug-buddies jumped me!

They stole my pants and my shirt!

And your underwear?

No I forgot to put on underwear this morning.

Uh, what's that in your leaves?

I think that's a bee hive.

Well, don't shake it!

Why shouldn't I shake..

Oh!

Help! Help! Get them off me! Get them off me!

They're stinging!

Oh God. They're stinging me!

In 5..

4..

3..

2..

I know you see.

Somehow the world will change for me.

And be so wonderful.

Live life, breathe air.

I know somehow we're gonna get there.

And feel so wonderful.

It's all for real.

I'm telling you just how I feel.

So wake up the members of my nation.

It's your time to be.

There's no chance unless you take one.

And the time to see the brighter side of every situation.

Some things are meant to be. So give me your best and leave the rest to me.

Leave it all to me.

Leave it all to me.

Leave it all to me.

Just leave it all to me.

Next, on the Dingo Channel..

It's Sing Song Dancy Dance!

Ugh.

Woo-hoo!

Yeah!

I'm so happy!

Woo! Woo-hoo!

Yeah!

Yeah!

Yeah!

Nice..

But did you remember to put on underwear?

Yes!

No.

So you're happy why?

Because I ruined a little boy's life!

What?

Chuck!

Evil Chuck, from upstairs?

Uh-huh! I got rid of him!

Oh yeah, he gone! He gone! He's gone!

Huh? He's gone! Yeah!

Okay, what happened to Chuck?!

I called the cops on him!

- Why? - For snatching my clothes!

He assaulted me with intent to render me naked!

What'd the cops do?!

They went to his apartment and told his Dad he had two choices..

Chuck goes to juvy or military school.

And he picked military school.

- Oh! - Yup!

Finally, I can blade around this building without fear of bodily

or face-illy harm from mean old Chuck!

I thought your roller blades broke.

They did! But I fixed 'em!

Look-it!

See?! I just tightened the toe bearings and lubed up the wheel and..

Ah! Whoa!

How?!

Do something!

Quit it!

What?

Now come on, don't any of you wanna buy one of these off my stick?

Okay, for the tenth time, nobody wants to eat food

that you've jammed a stick through.

Oh, I'll buy a sweet potato from your stick.

What?! Sweet potatoes?! These are yams.

I'm sorry. I'll take a yam.

No! I'm not selling a yam to somebody that doesn't know

her yam from her sweet potato!

T-Bo's been pretty wazzed off lately.

He lives in the same apartment with my Mom.

That'll wazz a guy off.

Okay, I gotta hit the little boys' room.

Carly.. I want you to hold my phaser.

Don't play with it.

Don't let anybody touch it.

Don't even set it down.

Just hold it.

You're the only person I trust.

What about me?

You're a boy.

Why can't you take your phaser into the men's room with you?

What?!

Have you ever been in a men's room?

No.

Yeah, well..

Bleeeeegh!

Ugh!

Bleeeegh!

- He's right. - Bleeeeegh.

Hey, it's my buddy Lurvin.

Just leave me alone.

Why Lurvin?

Who's that guy?

I dunno.. I've never seen him before.

What's wrong?

You don't wanna share your sweet potato with me?

It's a yam.

What'd you say to me?!

Uh..

Nothing.

Gimme my glasses back!

Tell me what you said or I'm gonna break 'em!

Please don't!

They're tri-focals!

Ya know, I ought a bust you up.

Really?

You're gonna "bust up" a kid half your size?

Uh, sit down, honey, or I'll bust you up, too.

- Oh, no. - Poor guy.

Ever seen a Butter Sock?

No, what it's for?