Crash Course

Buddha said, "Life is about sadness.

From birth till death... it is all sadness."

But we only understand this after we die.

Do you feel like dying?

Sure, go ahead.

I won't stop you. I'll just tell you the truth.

When you are hanging from a noose,

your C2 and C3 vertebrae are the first to break.

Instant paralysis!

Slowly... breathing turns to suffocation, and you become unconscious.

It takes about eight to ten minutes for your last breath to leave your body.

This is not a problem for the person who is hanging

because they are already unconscious.

But this happens if you are being hung with the long noose used in jails.

Hanging inside a room is slightly different, my friend.

Because the rope is short and the ceiling is low,

C2 and C3 don't break

and you keep dangling mid-air...

conscious!

Every second feels like an eternity.

As you slowly suffocate,

you start remembering...

your mother, father, friends, siblings...

and all those who love you.

You lament, "Damn, I should have lived longer."

You want to scream, "Save me! Help me!"

But neither does a sound come out

nor does anyone come to save you.

Well, Buddha has also said, "Wake up and look closely at your sadness,

it will start looking like happiness."

Hey, you tortured soul!

What do you plan on doing with this rope now?

The rope that you had bought with so much hope...

What the hell will you do with it?

Use it to dry your wet undies and be happy.

This is the best use of any rope.

Don't sleep, you fucker! Wake up!

This show is not about dying,

it's about living!

Rakesh, go get him.

Hey!

Wait, let me dance for two minutes!

Tell me something, bro.

The seniors' results will be out today.

What's it to us juniors?

Dancing, singing, partying...

It's an official holiday today!

Beer and biryani should be distributed officially today.

Sathya!

I swear I'll treat you to beer and biryani!

Please give me your Physics notes, bro.

-Tomorrow. -Okay.

Girls don't even look at us.

And look at him, a babe magnet!

Sathya, my bro...

We must have a belly dancer in each of our rooms.

Belly dancer?

Yeah, the ones who lie on the floor

and can wriggle a Dirham coin down their body to their navel. That kind!

Enough for you to come, right?

Hey, it looks sexy.

As I move faster...

and faster...

Baby, I'm coming!

Tejal!

Tejal!

Wasn't Vidhi Gupta enough?

You're after her roommate now!

What?

-How are you? -I am fine.

How are things?

Things are fine. My hands, legs, cycle, EVERYTHING is fine.

Now that the results are to be declared, we're a little nervous.

A little...

Do you have a holiday tomorrow as well?

Batra sir takes classes even on national holidays!

It's just studies and more studies...

What's the point?

Not one of his students is among the Top 10!

Why so cocky?

We study at the number one institute!

You must've heard about it...

Your students scored high ranks twice and now you punks are full of it.

Batra sir's students have always got high ranks in the past.

-Never Top 10 out of 10 like us. -Oh, come on!

Jindal bowling from the Talwandi End...

A hat-trick!

Watch out! Batra might have a winner this time!

Yeah, Batra's wieners are right here!

What?

-What, huh? -What...

Hello, look Rakesh is sitting there.

-Hey... -Hey, let it be, Siddhant.

Hey!

Do you guys have to put on this macho act all the time?

Why shouldn't we? Why not? Macho me!

Look, this is how big you are.

Why is your attitude so big?

She's making fun of my genes. And you fuckers are laughing...

-Pal... -Yes?

At the end of the day, we're friends, man.

-Right? -Yes, we are...

Get lost!

-Okay, listen. -Yeah?

Genuinely...

Get lost!

Sir, these will be up within ten minutes of the results being declared.

Real-time advertising.

And we have two options as well.

This and this.

That one is okay.

This.

List, ma'am.

Yeah...

Sir, the Top 10 ranks according to the internal assessment.

Sir, Batra sir's students have secured the 1st, 2nd, and 5th ranks.

Yeah, I saw it.

So, if two lines are parallel

then the angle formed between them will be zero.

Thus, in equation three, Tan Theta equals to zero.

therefore, M1 = M2.

Everybody...

do you agree with him?

-Yes, sir. -Yes, sir.

I see, okay.

You're right.

-Well done. -Thank you, sir.

Well done. Good boy.

Really? This is going to be great fun.

Silence.

Silence, please!

Silence.

-A. K. sir! -A. K. sir!

-A. K. sir! -A. K. sir!

-A. K. sir! -A. K. sir!

-A. K. sir! -A. K. sir!

Okay, okay, enough. Thank you.

Thank you! Thank you, guys!

-A. K. sir! -A. K. sir!

-A. K. sir! -A. K. sir!

-A. K. sir! -A. K. sir!

-A. K. sir! -A. K. sir!

Let's go!

-A. K. sir! -A. K. sir!

-A. K. sir! -A. K. sir!

-A. K. sir! -A. K. sir!

We are the faculty members of the top institute in Kota.

No, please sit, all of you. Sit down.

Sorry to intrude on your leisure time.

Sir, we were just discussing today's results and why we...

Sir... please sit.

No, Prof. Lalchand, this is your seat. Please have a seat.

Please!

You are sitting proudly on these chairs, all high and mighty.

Then why is your position so unstable?

How many students come to Kota every year to become engineers? Tell me.

About 2,00,000.

And to R. J. Institute?

If I add all the courses, about 1,00,000.

-50% -Yes.

Right?!

Right? 50%...

Despite having 50% of the students,

we couldn't get the 1st rank!

Why?

Why didn't we secure the top rank?

Why didn't we get the top rank?!

Answer me!

Sir, the students did very well in their Math and Chemistry exams,

like they do every year.

But... in the Physics exam...

Sir, even though we didn't secure the top rank,

the total number of selections has gone up

from 5,000 to 5,500.

So, should I put up the photos of all 5,500 students on the hoarding?!

This is a Topper's game!

Topper's game!

The salary that you would've gotten

ten years after passing out from IIT,

is what I give you in the first year itself!

Don't mind my saying so...

but you come and beg me!

I give you a house, a car,

and medical reimbursement for your children and your parents.

For everyone!

What do I get in return?

Nothing!

Batra has secured three out of the top five ranks

and Jindal only has two!

I want the number one rank!

I can't tolerate coming second.

I want number one!

One!

This time we've beaten Jindal well and good.

Papa, let's have a victory parade.

If we don't celebrate our victory,

what's the point of getting these ranks, Papa?

A victory parade is a show of strength.

I am a teacher...

and my job is to teach.