Killer Coaster

This is scary. Shouldn't we get back in the trailer?

We're not allowed in here.

Where are we?

Can we leave?

No, don't you want us to...

What?

Seriously, you really suck at getting hints.

Did you hear that?

-What? -Wait.

Come on, stop freaking out!

It just moved, I swear!

Damn it! Are you serious?

Are you afraid of that thing?

This?

Look.

You will not escape me.

Summer of '98, Palavas-les-Flots.

Every summer, thousands of people came to suckle at the udder of the cow-sun.

The town was a calm and happy place.

The inhabitants were enjoying the summer season,

Luckily, I was looking after my dear fellow citizens.

I protected them from danger.

They could always count on me.

Sandrine Laplace, badge number 19031006.

I will be the town's guardian angel.

-Are you still doing your voice-over? -Not at all.

I know you're new, but we don't do that here.

We issue 130-franc parking tickets.

-And we look after our citizens. -No, we don't.

130 francs. That's it.

PARKING TICKET

If you get bored, count to 1000 and presto!

The morning's already over.

You Parisians are so uptight.

You know what would be good for you? A girls' night out.

We'll go out, get dressed up and get some dick.

-What? -Luzenac dick.

It's a local specialty.

See, that's your problem.

You've been here three months and you haven't had any dick.

It's not normal.

You should make scoubidou charms, have a drink with us.

You know, do the things people usually do here.

We are not in Paris. People are laid-back here.

You're really uptight.

Hey! You there!

-We have to call the police. -I am the police.

In the name of the law, stop!

Sorry!

Excuse me! I'm sorry!

You will not escape me.

You're out of line!

You are crazy, you deserve a reprimand!

A reprimand!

Anyone may apprehend a suspect

and take him to the nearest police officer.

-That's completely made-up. -Article 73 of the Penal Code.

I don't care, Laplace! I don't care.

Ever since you transferred here, everything's been a mess.

This, the supposed fougasse trafficking ring,

the notorious illegal moped gang.

You need to slow down. Act more like Véronique.

Four hundred...

She's a great professional. The best.

I asked her to issue tickets. She issues tickets! Period.

I told you so.

Show me your badge.

That's a nice badge.

What's written on it?

-Auxiliary police officer. -Exactly.

Auxiliary police officer.

Do not overstep your duties. Okay?

Considering what you did in Paris,

if I was in your place, Laplace, I'd stay in my place.

Excellent.

-Excellent. -Excellent, right?

Nothing ever happens here.

Keep this in mind. You're not in a movie.

Attention, ladies and gentlemen,

fasten your seatbelts, get ready to have fun,

-here we go... -No!

-What? That was good! -No, it's wasn't!

We're Jimenezes!

We have the best voices! You are a disgrace!

You're not ready, no.

I do the voice, you be a chick.

Dad told me you need to walk Tyson.

What? Again? I always walk him.

-You do it, Paco. -That mutt is scary.

No, he hates me, he loves you.

Check it out. Look at that clown.

Right, that clown.

With his ugly face. Yeah, that's it,

get out, scram!

Go away, we said!

Go home!

Filthy Poissonnet.

You know what I see? We're strong,

proud, brave, motivated. That's what I see.

We're not going to make it this season.

We were broke. Now we're screwed.

When's your dad coming back?

Soon. He's enjoying his vacation.

He's been on vacation for weeks.

-What are we going to eat? Rocks? -Give it a rest.

He's allowed to get some rest.

Patoche, go rig the claw machines.

Nobody gets any stuffed animals, except for the kids.

Kids are precious. They are entitled to one teddy bear, that's the rule.

They're already rigged. Don't tell me how to do my job.

Another idea. Damn, it's perfect. I'm a genius.

It's the World Cup. We'll put TVs everywhere.

The kids have fun while parents watch the match.

And everyone stays on our rides. Okay?

And speed up on the cotton candy.

-I'll take care of it. -You're not ready.

I am! I made a tropical flavor. Isn't that great?

Crookie, urge people to buy more. We're not selling enough.

I do what I can. Can you call me by my real name?

-Fine. -What's my name?

Well, your name is...

-Jean Crookie? -No.

-Philippe? -No.

-Louis? -No.

-Sébastien? -No.

-David? -No.

-Simon? -No.

-Christophe? Nicolas? -No.

-Jean-Luc? Luc? -No.

-Lucas? -No.

Look, who cares?

To me and the kids, you're Crookie.

I'm Tony, okay?

To-ny, two syllables.

Stay in character.

Think crocodile. Live crocodile.

Jojo?

Put more salt on the fries.

Is your cousin Dolorès coming?

I don't know. Who cares? We don't need her.

Or anyone else! We won't be defeated, will we?

We're Poissonnets, damn it! Okay?

We have a reputation.

We'll get through this, trust me. Now get to work.

Let's go!

And smile!

Shit.

His sweatshirt got caught in the gears of the Ghost Train.

He was strangled by his own hood.

Poor kid.

He was pure and innocent.

He had several wallets on him.

A pickpocket known to the police.

Poor kid. He was purely guilty, actually.

One of the carnies found him.

How convenient.

Fucking Gypsies.

He's been hanging for more than 24 hours.

You let yourself get carried away by your emotions, Bercot.

Your hair is cool, but underneath, your brain isn't working.

In my opinion, he's been here for at least a day.

I need to talk to the owner.

Ms. Poissonnet, we can't reach your father.

Do you know where he is?

He's out of town.

He won't be back right away. I'm representing him.

Do you know why you're here?

We're shutting down your fucking Ghost Train.

If any defect is found,

you'll be charged with manslaughter.

Impossible, I service it.

He was just screwing around.

I don't know...

Maybe he committed suicide.

Or it's a sex game that went wrong. That's pretty common.

To have a stronger orgasm.

Let me be clear. One, don't try to bamboozle me.

Two, quit yelling.

-I'm not yelling. -Three,

if, by some miracle, you find your father,

bring him here immediately.

And four, explain to us this sexual game and how to have a more intense orgasm.

I'm sorry.

Hand off, Jimenez, or your fingers will be sorry.

This ride is important for the Poissonnets.

I want to help you.

-Out of respect for your father. -Don't talk about my father.

Look at the condition of these attractions.

Sell them to me once and for all.

Damn it, Fraco.

A kid died and you're talking about buyouts?

Don't you have enough?

You really have no shame.

You and your stupid cashmere jacket.

It's silk. But that's not the point.

Think about my proposal.

Poissonnets don't forget.

I'll never work for a fucking Jimenez.

I could stay here for the rest of my life.

Me too.