The Following Events are Based on a Pack of Lies

So when it starts coming in, I start speaking, correct?

There are always moments when I think I should've known.

-(ominous music) -(indistinct chattering)

Force promises, scare tactics, coercion.

-(crew 1) Right. Okay, lovely. -(bell rings)

I was recently divorced,

in this big house that I'd inherited from my grandmother.

I was dubious at first, but then Mum showed me the website.

That was a red flag.

Why didn't you tell, why didn't you see what was happening

before it was too late?

And then suddenly, whoosh! He'd be off.

I never heard from him again.

Nice and quiet, everyone.

Here we go, and action.

I've always fought for what I believed in.

And whether I did right or wrong, I meant well.

And I wasn't born with a silver spoon.

I've had to fight my way up against a corrupt system.

And I'm proud of what I've achieved.

And yeah,

I've made mistakes.

But what matters is what's inside a man's heart.

And those who know me, know my heart.

And to the doubters and the haters and, yeah, you know who you are.

I believe in a little thing called Karma.

And your Karma's coming.

# Some boys kiss me Some boys hug me #

# I think they're okay #

# If they don't give me Proper credit #

#I just walk away #

A woman who wears this is not afraid to take up space.

She is confident, she is creative...

She is confident, she is creative, she is successful.

Yes, you said, a soy cappuccino and a...

Yeah, no, sorry, course you can change your mind.

I'm just... hang on, Juno.

-(thuds) -(Alice grunts)

-Who's in there? -(Bill) It's me.

Dad, don't forget it's wonga day, have you taken your pills?

-(Bill) Aren't you late for work? -I am going now.

Josh, put your socks on.

-(Josh) Not now. -What's all this?

We've negotiated one cartoon

in return for Josh putting on his own socks and shoes,

haven't we?

-(sighs) -(Benjy) Wow.

You look amazing.

Ready to kick some arse?

Yeah, I am.

It's just, with Juno, it's all about the pitch.

So if I can just stay confident, she'll go with it.

All I want is the chance to show what I'm capable of.

And you will.

-You're gonna go in there. -(Alice) Yeah.

You're gonna tell yourself, "I deserve this."

-I deserve this. -(Benjy) "This is long overdue."

-This is long overdue. -Obviously don't say that out loud.

This is it.

-Kiss me! -Yes, ma'am.

I'm ready.

-(bell tolls) -(classical music)

Special event tonight, Gideon College,

we'd love to see you there.

You can sign up online, bring a friend.

Hey, hi there, special event tonight, Gideon College.

I'd love to see you there, you can sign up online.

-(woman) Sure. -Hey, hi.

-(crowd gasping) -(Rob) Bastard... bike.

-Bollocks. -(man 1) Hey, are you all right?

Do you need a hand?

Can I help you? Are you okay?

Oh, no, we're good, we're good, thank you so much, thank you.

But you posted it yesterday, yeah?

Then great.

Well, then it should easily be there by now.

Sorry, I'm just heading there now.

No, you know what, if she doesn't bite,

we'll find another way in.

Shall we take a look at my pitch?

Third time lucky, exactly.

I can bring it down to your office.

Yeah, it's tonight. Yep!

Yeah.

Okay, over and out.

-Good morning, sir. -Morning.

-Can I help you? -Sorry, I just...

Public entrance on the other side.

-Yeah, I'm not. -Public entrance. Other side!

Robbie?

Alice! Are we ready to do your pitch?

This is a...

Er...

Practical yet stylish design that declares,

-er, an inner confidence. -Mm.

The woman who wears this cape is not afraid to...

to, to...

to take up space.

Sorry, I just...

Al? Are you okay?

Bloody hell.

That is him, isn't it?

Cause remember there was that bloke in Aldi.

And the chap at the fair...

Well, I think so. It's just Greenland?

Disruptive Exploration? What is all this?

What the hell's "Sar-toot Climate Academy"?

And who's Dr Robert Chance?

It's our Robbie Graham.

I looked him up, look.

He's pals with Sir Ralph Unwin?

I don't understand. It says he's a "climate scientist."

He's a what? He's not dead then!

And he's changed his name.

Where the hell has he been?

Don't tell me he's living here. Oh, God!

He doesn't know we moved here, does he?

-How could he? -He's hasn't been

in touch with you or...

Been in touch with me?

-What's your mother gonna say? -Oh, no. No, no, no, Dad.

-She thinks he's dead! -No, let's just wait, please.

-Until we have more information. -You're not to talk to him.

-I don't want to! -You're better off without him!

Of course I am!

-What are you on about? -I just mean...

We all loved him, but... you're doing so good now.

I don't want you going back to how you were.

After he went. We were so worried about you.

Hm.

Have I been waiting for this?

Have you?

I've imagined so many different ways

we might find out what happened to him.

But I never, in a million years, thought...

Bastard!

He will be dead when I get my hands on him!

What the hell's he playing at?

...trying to make the world a better place.

Aspirationally, yes.

We need more light in here.

Isn't she up yet?

Well, I suppose at least she's sleeping.

I can't believe it's finally done!

Oh! Tell me about it.

I was afraid we were heading for another Game of Thrones.

I mean, hit TV show aside, from a publishing point of view,

George is taking the piss.

-(chuckles) -(Cheryl) Morning everyone!

-Morning, Cheryl! -(Cheryl) Well, not quite.

Lola! What are you doing here?

I'm signing book sevens this morning.

Do we have a scholarship meeting?

Oh, erm, Priana's hoping for a decision

on the scholarship candidates by the end of the week.

We need to start organising the announcement dinner.

I still have one shortlisted candidate to visit.

We're dealing with young carers, it takes time.

I'll get back to you as soon as I can.

Regina, let's set up in the Red Room

it's more comfortable.

Now I know the tour wasn't everything we hoped for, but...

It was humiliating.

But the online feedback is 99 percent positive.

Don't lie to me.

The fans hate it.

A few disgruntled people cross about the ending. I mean, so what?

You can't please all the people all of the time! You know that.

I'm so sorry.

Was I trying to write while caring for my terminally ill husband?

So sorry to disappoint. Soulless vampires.

There's already demand for a prequel.

Personally, I don't think we should go down that road.

-Why not? -Well, don't you want a change?

Create a new world?

A new world.

-You know... -(cup clinks)

I wouldn't mind writing a sci-fi.

Or what about a memoir?

You could have a chapter about me.

I don't know, I don't really know what I wanna do.

I haven't thought past the paperback.

So take a break. Go on holiday!

-On my own? -(Regina) Well, people do.

Take a bit of time to, you know,

work out who you are...

without Lance.

Or get back on the dating sites.

Have a go at meeting someone else.

No.