Saving Our Marriage - First Season

Saving Our Marriage

is a reality show featuring couples who are facing struggles

within their relationship.

Things haven't been the same since my retrenchment.

Definitely financial. So finance is a big issue. So we're always fight about that.

Our marriage would be great, better

if we lived in our own home.

I, personally, am going to walk away.

Our experts, Paul Nyamuda

and Ilze Alberts

are there to provide the couples with much needed therapy,

and give them new perspectives

on marriage and each other.

So what is marriage? Marriage is when two people come together

and they say, "We want to do this, and we want to do this for life."

Do you sometimes feel

like you are the man in the house?

Oh, I know I am.

The journey will not be easy.

There are many challenges along the way.

I'm not going to sit here and listen to him lie about me so bluntly.

I am not. He's not. He's not being honest.

But why are you calling me a liar?

-It's a real example, right. -Can I walk out, please?

I want you to... you two to listen very carefully here.

-For example... For example... -In your fantasy world, it's supposed to...

It takes two to tango.

-It's not just an excuse... -It is.

So it has happened before?

-A lot of times -A lot times. Okay.

You're in a safe place.

-I was hurt. I was really hurt. -Mm-hmm.

There's a lot that we need to plan...

what's next for us, you know.

I'm not in charge of your feelings. You sort your own feelings out.

But did you disrespect him?

Marriage is worth the sacrifice.

What are you two willing to do?

I have not been truthful to you all the time. I've lied to you a lot.

When is this big launching out to the moon going to happen?

When I got married I was told,

the important thing I needed to learn to say to my wife is, "I love you."

I'm honestly hoping and praying that

this Asanda that I'm meeting now

continues with me throughout our whole journey of marriage. Because,

this Asanda is the Asanda that I love.

My name is Paul Nyamuda.

"Nyamuda" means one who loves all others.

I think it's very appropriate for this show.

I'm a leadership coach and I'm a marriage coach.

And I'm very passionate about what I do.

My passion in life

is unlocking greatness in individuals,

in teams and in organizations.

I'm Ilze Alberts. I'm a family psychologist for more than 30 years.

I'm also an internationally- published author and a speaker.

And I dedicate my life

to build powerful families with beautiful lives.

So what is marriage? Marriage is where two people come together and they say,

"We want to do this, and we want to do this for life."

First of all, how important it is to have a goal,

a vision, a purpose for your relationship.

I would love to help the couples to find that for themselves.

Marriage can actually be the closest thing to hell or the closest thing to heaven.

And if you've got the tools that you use,

and you use them effectively and practice them

on a daily basis, I'm telling you, it'll be the closest thing to heaven.

And that's why I'm so passionate about imparting these tools

to people, as I counsel them, as I assist them with regards to this.

To learn to love each other for who you are.

To be caring . Not careless,

not careful, but caring.

So we're giving you on this program

the tools to help you to have conversations that matter

with your spouse.

You see, there's such a stigma, isn't there?

With regards to marriage counseling, marriage coaching.

People think, "It's only when my marriage is really struggling

that I can receive coaching or counseling." No.

We all need this.

For me, my process with every couple,

with everyone

is to make sure that they take the responsibility to say,

"I will be the change I want to see."

Meet our couples for this season.

Thabang and Nonhlanhla.

Asanda and Mahlodi.

Paul and Mariah.

Gudani and Vivian.

We've been married for close to five years now.

Look at my brother walking me down the aisle.

Your brother walked you down the aisle, right?

-Oh, Bishop Mathole. -Ah.

-Hmm. -Our bishop.

I met Mahlodi through a friend.

So it was the three of them, and it was the three of us, the girls.

So when we went out,

I guess each and everyone had laid their eyes on another.

-Oh, the rings. -And look at our... look at our rings.

Still here. Let me see. I think I need to change my...

No, you need to get it washed. We both do.

Asanda proposed at Mpumalanga.

We happened to have a couples' getaway.

And then we went for quad-biking.

He just went down on one knee

and he proposed.

I was very happy.

What made me propose was the fact

that I loved Mahlodi.

I still do.

I was excited. I mean, I've always wanted us to get to this point, you know?

-Hmm. -Where we are married

and we raise our children in a home, you know,

where the parents are married.

- In a lovely home, you know. -Yeah.

Babes, let me pour you a cup of coffee. We didn't have electricity earlier on.

So now that it's back, let's... let's get you drinking.

We attended the same high school.

The first time I encountered him,

he wanted to ask me out to his matric farewell.

I said yes and...

that's how we met.

It's Friday. Are you cooking?

-No. No, I'm not cooking. -Not on a Friday.

Not on a Friday. Not on a Friday.

So what do you want to eat?

Now that I'm not cooking.

- I mean, I've... We've been... -I think tea will go down with...

nice cookies.

Well, he proposed the popular way.

He...

I think he took me out to dinner.

There was a News Café in the Vaal way back.

And um...

One day we went to News Café,

and while we were eating he was like, "I want to marry you."

It was in line with who... what the relationship was and who he was.

We like to say we grew up together.

Come, let's get a biscuit.

Who's first? Who's first?

Who's first? Chuchi.

-Who's first? -

What I love about our marriage is that when we are on the same page

and we're game, we are having a lot of fun together.

And things are just so passionate and everything else.

We both love animals. We both love music.

And that's something that really brings us a lot together.

Finished. It's all finished!

We met in 1990 at a matric farewell. And I stole him away from my best friend.

We dated for a bit and we went our own separate ways.

And then we met up again in 2011.

Well you know, after all those years of being apart

and then meeting up again, I saw something in Maria

that I found really attractive and beautiful.

And I thought it was something that I really wanted in my life.

The proposal was brilliant. It was fantastic. We were at

a pub that plays live music and we knew the band.

And the band was playing a song, he got on stage and he proposed.

It was just perfect.

- -You bet.

- Speed. Come, Paul. -Come, Paul. It's taking long, Paul.

Me and Vivian met on a dating show, some time ago.

And then we started dating like, a few days after

- having met on the show. -I pretty much knew, I think within

the first two months

I was dating. I was just like, there's no way

that I'm going to not marry this girl.

So the proposal...

- Can I laugh first because... -

-Hello. - Hello, can you see me?

-No, I can't. -Hello .

Oh, yeah. Now you can see me.

He proposed in the beginning of lockdown. So I think we were on Level Five.

I just wanted

to ask you if you would

do me the pleasure

of... marrying me...

and being my wife. Say you will.

-Be straight. -Are you serious, bro? What the fuck!

Are you serious?

-Over a video call? -Yeah, 100%.

- Come on. -Look, look, look.

Well yeah, because I can't get to you right now, you know. It's late. But...

I am, I am 100% serious.

Sorry.

Okay, of course I'll marry you.

And yeah, that's basically how he proposed.

Nothing like I imagined, really.

And he said he wanted me to remember it.

I won't forget it.

Of course, it was in the middle of a pandemic.

-You're being so stupid. -Ah! Punch me.

Coming after the ad break. Things begin to get very heated

during couples' counseling.

Definitely the trust and the communication need change.

Our marriage is getting pretty boring.

She gets angry at me over things I have no control over.

Your daddy's drunk.

He will shout at you. Get away from him.

She goes and locks the door. Who does that?