Wonder Man

Sorry, I'm late.

I'm assuming you're a Wonder Man and not a Barnaby?

Correct.

I don't have a Doorman waiver on file for you,

so I'm gonna need you to sign this...

Assuming, of course, you don't have superpowers.

The show runner just called.

He's cutting your character from the show.

What happened on American Horror Story, Simon?

I got fired, okay?

- Oh, no, Simon. Really? - No, Mummi, it wasn't my fault.

Of course, nothing is ever your fault.

Don't upset him.

You know I'd never work again if anyone found out.

What are you talking about?

Because of DeMarr "Doorman" Davis.

Sorry. Who's DeMarr "Doorman" Davis?

Oh, damn. Sorry. I can't let y'all in.

What? Why not?

You see, right there, it says you're from Texas.

And I heard they dance weird out there.

Yeah. We don't do none of this in LA.

Oh, my God.

I think we'll be okay.

All right. Get your ass in there, girl.

Don't injure yourself now, you hear? Yeehaw.

Oh, yeah. Look who's in the house.

- Oh, What? - There he is.

Stand back. What's up? Mr. Gad, how you doing, sir?

Mr. Gad? Come on, man.

Call me Josh or J-Gad, I'm trying to make that a thing.

- Anyways, so what's cooking tonight? - Oh, y'all gonna have fun tonight.

We got the guy from Imagine Dragons deejaying.

Radioactive most important song of the last three years, easy.

- Oh, yeah. - Yep.

Listen, if things slow down out here,

why don't you come in and have a drink with me? Yeah?

- Oh, that's very nice of you. - Come here.

Mmm. That's it.

Okay. You're just gonna wear the shades in?

I don't know.

Are you really with him? 'Cause...

Next!

Seems like it was live in here. The line outside was slammed.

People went apeshit when Olaf started crowd surfing.

I bet.

Do you realize the first time I tipped you out was over three years ago?

You kidding? I've been here that long?

- Do you like working here, DeMarr? - Of course. Why you say that?

We don't normally have employees last with us this long.

It's Hollywood. Everyone's an actor or a model and, you know...

Working here is just a stepping stone.

That ain't me. I like this gig.

It's fun.

The tips are good.

I get to talk to people and be myself.

That's all I really need.

You don't meet a lot of people in this town who are happy

with where they're at.

Hold on to that.

Why wouldn't I?

Probably because you're gonna be hauling

a stinky bag of garbage in about two seconds.

Heart-to-heart's over.

Sorry. Thank you very much.

Fun while it lasted.

Shit.

What the hell?

No, no.

No!

No!

Chance.

What's up, Chance?

Chance?

Chance.

Chance, I'm coming.

Hello?

Hello?

Chance, come here. Come. Come here, girl.

What the hell are you doing? Get out of my apartment!

Ma'am, uh, this is a misunderstanding.

I put my hand in some goo, and all of a sudden,

my dog fell through the floor.

- Get out! - I promise I'm not breaking in.

Whoa, I'm leaving.

Oh, no.

No.

Nah.

DeMarr, uh, you okay?

Yeah, yeah.

It's just kinda been a weird day. That's all. Sorry.

No, no, it's fine. Listen, we are totally packed tonight.

Pushing it on the fire code, so just, you know, don't let anyone else in,

- until it clears out a bit. - I got you.

We're melting! Melting, bitches!

What the hell was that?

It's stuck!

- I can't get it open. - Keep trying.

I'm gonna call the fire department. Get that door open.

Okay. Hold on!

The door was jammed. Quick, go through me.

- What do you mean? - Go through me.

- I don't... - What is he saying?

I think he said he wants us inside him.

Pass.

He's saying, he wants us to go through him.

Mmm-hmm...

How does... How do I do this? Do I just enter you?

I really don't know. Really.

Uh, hold on. Just give me a second, let me...

- Now, now. - Okay.

Ugh!

All right.

Shit! Why am I doing this? Oh, God. Oh!

Oh, look! Look at that. There's the other side.

Oh, shit.

It works!

Everyone follow me. Exit through DeMarr.

Hurry! This shit ain't easy.

- Hey. - Jesus!

Sorry, man. I didn't mean to scare you.

I just wanted to come out here and say thank you.

Don't sweat it. I'm sure anybody would have done that.

Are you being serious right now?

You just saved everybody's life in that building.

You just saved my life.

I gotta pay you back.

I don't need anything. I'm good.

- How about a new job? - What?

DeMarr, after what you did tonight, there's no way

no offense, that you can go be a doorman anymore.

Come work for me. I'll put you on the payroll.

Look, Mr. J-Gad, I appreciate it, but I'm fine here.

- Got a good boss... - Starting salary is 200K plus benefits.

- Yeah, that'll work. - Yeah.

Josh Gad is in the news again.

The Frozen star is catching fire and turning heads,

with his new super powered personal valet.

The man in question appears to be DeMarr Davis,

former Wilcox employee,

who's affectionately been dubbed "Doorman."

He's been spotted all over town with Josh

and seemingly has the power to move himself and his boss through solid walls.

Davis recently saved a crowd

from a fire at a popular nightclub.

Now it seems he's exclusively using his talents in service of Gad.

Meanwhile, this Mormon has just Booked a new project,

an action comedy called Cash Grab.

You might say this former LeFou... is Gast-on a roll.

Dying for some sugar.

They got some stale snickerdoodle cookies over there.

- Mmm. - But it's better to have no cookie

than to have a disappointing cookie.

- Know what I'm saying? - Huh.

Frank Preminger, Hanover Agency.

Oh, I heard of that.

- DeMarr, right? - Yeah.

- The Doorman? - Live and direct.

Ding dong.

You're a funny guy.

- Thank you. - Yeah. Do you ever think about acting?

Nah. Not my thing, Frank.

Besides, who will get J-Gad his snack plate?

True. Keep it. You never know.

It's just, you know the heist is feeling flat.

Mmm-hmm, I agree. I think we need something more original.

Well, we could go back to flooding the vault.

I always liked that version.

Snatched you some crab rangoons before they got housed.

Or we could use liquid nitrogen to freeze the locks and shatter them.

The vault needs to be impenetrable.

The whole point is that this crew are the only ones on the planet

that can get in or out.

Um...

I may have something.

Look, man, I wanna help out.

But I can't act.

Who cares? I can't act.

It's never stopped me from being an actor.

We'll make sure it's only a couple of lines.

This will be easy, I'm telling you.

You know what's easy? If you bring somebody else in.

Keep the idea, a brilliant idea.

Bring in a real actor. Then you can fake it with CGI.

Yeah, but what makes it cool is that it's you.

People know who you are, and they would go crazy.

I don't know. I'm more comfortable behind the scenes.

DeMarr, there is a reason that you are making headlines.

You have something that other people just don't.

It's a... a charisma, a charm.

On top of all of that, you can become a door.

It is not every day that an opportunity like this just falls into your lap.

You do realize that, right?

- All right. - Yeah.

All right.

It's gonna be great.

Vamos a la play a, amigos.

We've been training ten years for this.

And now we've only got 30 seconds to grab some cash.

Oh, shit. No! We're trapped.