PONIES

Previously, on Ponies ...

For about a year, we've been trying

to turn a Soviet agent.

CK Solar is highly placed

and working with important Russian intelligence.

We need to get that intelligence.

We need to get to know the person who lives there.

You go inside.

Look around, tell us what you see.

Find out if he's trustworthy.

You put a phone in my apartment

- without telling me. - So, he called you?

He asked me out!

- Hi. George Tallman. - Twila Hasbeck.

I had a great time.

You're very easy to talk to.

- What's your name? - Sveta.

So, what do you think of Moscow?

Whatever you're reading's English, so I figured you speak it?

Yeah.

I'm just here on business.

My company's thinking

of sending more people here

while they expand.

But I gotta go home and tell 'em

send another guy.

I could never live here.

Not that America's perfect.

I'm American, by the way.

It is very American to strike up

a conversation at an airport.

Excuse me.

Can you translate this for me?

It says

"Easy virtue - grave consequences."

This prostitute was

found dead in a park.

Fuck.

Metal box of shit! God!

You fuck, well, I will murder you

you useless robot!

Shit. I...

What do you want me to do? I pressed it. I pressed the button.

- Hey. - Like, what do you want?

- You need to talk to her. - Fuck!

- I have to type up 15 pages of steno - Stupid, fucking box!

For Alan right now. This is just...

It's Twila's method.

The Ambassador was walking down the hallway

and heard her refer to the Xerox machine as a cunt.

- What did he say? - Well, he's the Ambassador

so he agreed with her. He has to be diplomatic.

This is the U.S. Embassy.

It is a very serious place.

We can't be referring to office equipment as

genitalia.

Hallelujah. God bless

Jesus Fucking Christ.

And now she's brought Jesus Christ into it.

Aren't you offended?

I'm Jewish.

Ow. Okay, I didn't know that.

Christ. Thank you, thank you.

That's all I ever wanted from you.

I'm just saying. I don't want

your friendship with her

to tarnish your star, okay?

That's all I'm saying.

Here you go.

Great.

No. No, I said double sided.

It does double sided?

Hey, doll. My office.

Guess you have to make the copies.

Warmed up the machine for ya.

Cunt.

Where d'ya think you left it?

It's in the hotel, I'm sure of it.

Sure. Georgie here got a little too hungover last night

and lost his passport.

Oh, no.

Yeah, not hungover. It's jet lag.

Christ, you are such a Boy Scout. Hey, remember that time

I drove my parents car

through the front window of that Friendly's?

Guess I should've called that jet lag, huh, big guy.

So, what do you need me for?

Get to the hotel and find his passport.

Before someone sells it on the black market.

Okay. George

do you remember where you left it?

I'm pretty sure I know where to look.

Do you wanna pick up the receiver

and then I'll... I'll direct you.

- Hi. - Okay, is he still listening?

- Nope. - Okay. I didn't lose my passport.

Listen, just get in a cab

go to the airport.

Meet me by the Pan Am check-in.

I'll tell you everything. Just hurry up.

Good god, she was gorgeous.

It said she was a prostitute.

And she didn't ask you for money?

No.

Look, I wasn't just using her.

I know that's how it sounds.

I don't know, I just felt a connection.

You sure she didn't ask you for money

and you just didn't understand

'cause you don't speak Russian, or...

We didn't really talk.

Wow. Yeah, that's quite the deep connection you had.

Oh, god.

I don't know. I'm a mess.

I just want to get out of here

get back to my family and forget about this.

I couldn't get on the plane

without at least doing something.

And I thought you could help me.

How?

Well, maybe you could help me get

an anonymous tip to the police.

Tell them, like, where she was that night.

Tell them she was a real person.

And not just some statistic.

I hate to break it to you, George.

But you know, if you

a wealthy American businessman

had sex with a

- beautiful Russian woman - Yes, yes.

At some hotel in Moscow

the KGB, they already know about it.

- Oh, my god. - I mean, the cops, the KGB

it's all the same here.

And she probably saw you coming a mile away

and targeted you.

- Sir. Sir! - Yeah.

They called our flight at last. We are boarding.

Okay. Okay.

Okay. Yeah. You... you get on the plane.

I'll... I guess I'll look into this.

- Yeah. - Yeah.

What are you gonna do?

I don't know. But

something. I...

- I promise I'll do something. - Yeah.

I'm gonna make sure they know

she was a real person.

Thank you, Twila.

Yeah.

- Alright. - Okay.

What the hell?

Your accent is not Muscovite at all.

- He'd pick up on that? - Any idiot would.

Did you pick up on it?

I mean

did you have to throw the peanuts?

Better peanuts than bullets.

Every time I throw a peanut

imagine how it would feel

with a bullet.

Bang, bang.

My family is from Belarussia, would that work?

Fine. When Andrei asks

- you're from Belarus. - Okay.

And we also have to account

for her being an old maid.

I'm not an old maid.

My husband is dead.

- But he was... - He doesn't know that.

Yes, but we should try to match

as much of your cover story

with your real story as we can.

That way you don't have to reach for a lie.

- Okay. - So, you have one younger brother.

Your parents work in a bakery.

You've had three sexual partners.

Wait. Sorry. What...

How did... how did you know that?

He asked. I guessed.

My god, how did you know that?

You have to speak from a place of truth

as much as possible.

Otherwise, he'll know.

And if he knows...

- Bang, bang. - We'd like you to go in

with more information on Vasiliev.

That way you can guide the conversation.

Ray has acquainted himself

with a dossier on his career.

And Mrs. Hasbeck has read a dossier on his personal life.

When did I get a dossier?

Yesterday, when I told you to read it for tonight.

I thought that was just more orientation material.

- No one reads that. - You didn't read

the orientation material?

- Ray? - Yes.

Andrei Vasiliev has risen quickly

within the ranks of the KGB.

And Twila and I both think