5683

All these little things driving me crazy

I just want to be free

All these feelings got me seeing hazy

I can barely breathe

There's no point in tryna chase me

Only one thing I need

Oh, no, say it ain't so

I do what I want

And I don't like no

Oh no, if there's one thing you should know

Say it ain't so

MAN (ON TV): The liquor flows as freely as secrets,

the depths of desire run deep...

In Carrsville.

What is it, my love?

We cannot keep doing this.

We're just so good at it.

I'm talking about the contracts.

Oh, those.

I think it's best if you keep your pen on the contracts

and out of my inbox.

I love it when you talk stationery.

I am serious.

I don't want to have to choose.

We can do both, but not at the same time.

I disagree.

Then I quit.

You should quit him.

You can't quit.

Girl, his old love cannot be that good.

You're under contract, and I

see a couple places to initial.

And there's definitely a signature required.

Shut up and kiss me.

Yet here I am, watching Deep in Carrsville

alone at 6:00 PM on a Saturday.

Yes!

Yes!

Like clockwork.

Ooh, Benji, you're so sexy

Give this girl a heart attack

Looking so green these days

I love me some gray sweatpants.

Wash my hair with you

Oh, good boy.

You're a good boy.

I can call you a good boy.

I'll call you whatever you want.

I got it bad for you

When I'm holding you

I get so hot

Yes!

Fuck!

BEAUMONT (ON TV): Yes!

Fuck, fuck!

ESPERANZA (ON TV): Yes!

Yes!

Everything all right?

BEAUMONT (ON TV): Oh!

ESPERANZA (ON TV): Yes!

Yes!

Yes!

I'm coming.

Coming!

Hello?

I'll be right there.

Hey. Hi.

Hey.

Sorry, I thought I heard a ruckus.

Ruckus?

Yeah, like a Spanish DJ, but the beat never

dropped, just some noises.

Noises?

Oh.

Oh, I was...

Yeah.

Sorry.

Sorry.

Sorry to interrupt.

I need to learn when not to knock.

Huh?

Have a great night.

You clearly already have.

Congratulations.

Big load.

OK.

Sorry to interrupt?

This should be fun.

Oh, fuck me.

[MUSIC - CIRA GRANDI, "SAY IT AIN'T SO"] Oh,

no, say it ain't so

I do what I want, and I don't like no

Oh, no, if there's one thing you should know

Say it ain't so

It was so embarrassing I don't know why we have to drink here.

Check that out.

Oh, god.

Can't we have one night without a douche bag disturbance?

Hey.

Ladies, I couldn't help but notice you...

From across the bar.

Really.

You're going to have to do better than that.

This is my night out from my husband and my infant son.

Make me want you.

Make me need you.

You two have a good night.

Oh, come on.

Oh, well, that was fun.

Hey.

Thanks.

Hey, girls.

Filling your lull?

Lull?

Well, that's a cute name for it.

I'd go more with the endless abyss.

And that's fitting for you.

Don't be mean.

What'd I miss?

I let Captain one-liner know what he'd need

to do to get all this.

And he doubted himself, so he left.

I see nothing wrong here.

Exactly.

Thank you.

It's just like oral sex.

If I want to be licked like an ice cream cone,

he better not be a dog lapping water.

That was very graphic.

Thank you.

It's true.

You got to spell things out for these men.

You gotta tell them constantly.

Pull my hair.

Slap my ass.

Please, fuck me in my ass already.

You do not have to tell them.

They are always trying to do that.

Time to change the subject.

Children are present.

Sorry I'm late.

Are you leaving soon?

We have at least one more drink left.

And what are you ladies talking about?

Anal sex.

Layla.

Tell me, have you let Ward in the back door yet,

or is he still doing missionary work?

Olivia.

It's all right.

I mean, this is girl talk, right?

Exactly.

So back door?

Why use the back door when the front porch is so beautiful?

Oh.

She got you there, bitch.

I wasn't trying to get anyone.

And here you are getting married.

And yet Vanessa here, who is still trying to get anyone,

is single.

OK, uh-uh, no.

How did this get turned back around on me?

Adrian!

No, don't bring Adrian over here.

Are you just scared because you don't have the security

of your front door?

Yes.

All I'm saying here is I'm meant

to be single for the rest of my life, and I'm OK with that.

But you?

You need a man.

That's so mean.

All right, the usuals.

Grab them if you want them.

Come to mama.

All right.

And water.

That's right.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Adrian, Adrian.

One could say this place is our Luke's Diner, our MacLaren's,

our Central Perk, if you will.

I will.

Have you ever seen Vanessa here with a man?

I can't say that I have, no.

And these two lovely ladies?

Yeah, I've seen James and Ward here a time or two.

Huh.

A time or two.

Now do her.

Do her?

I'm on the clock.

I can't do that, especially in front of an audience.

Performance anxiety, it's a problem.

Let me know if you need anything.

We'd put on quite a show.

Olivia, isn't he a stand-up comedian?

That does not prove approve anything.

Oh, other than Mr. Houghton's keen attention to detail.