Sergeant Tutu

Freeze!

Boss.

Boss.

Are you okay? Where is he?

My brother, he chased a thief that way

Call for backup.

Backup!

Hey! Bros! What's up?

You are blocking me here.

What are we doing here?

Operator this is the end, please rewind.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

This is my town.

Yes. There is no place in this town you wouldn't find me.

On the street because I am very popular.

I am in every house,

maybe not this house though.

There is no chance you wouldn't find me inside these houses.

You still don't know me?? Okay. Riddle time...

I am something, once I'm wet, I rise to the occasion.

Ah, see, you all have dirty minds.

Hey, okay.

If I, resign I will just turn up...

I am coming.

Madam!

- How are you? - Boss well done sir.

- Please help me put it down. - This load is heavy.

See the way you keep adding weight.

Mr. Tutu you talk too much.

Is the price still the same or it has changed?

Honestly, you are very stingy. I have always said that you are very stingy.

If the price increases a bit is it bad?

Don't you know how things are, things are now expensive but quality remains the same.

- Just a little increment. - Little increment.

Seeing your goods, I get confused.

But I hope your goods are worth the money, because I would like to taste it to know if it's worth it.

Please how much drink should I put?

You know how you sell it, sell it that way.

How do I take this? Let me take it from the side, bend it for Tutu.

Bend it. Which one reduces big tummy?

Because our DPO here is a very stingy man.

Any money he takes, he doesn't return. He only knows deposit not withdrawal.

Do you have something that can reduce his big belly?

There is no medicine I don't have... but you know this

urban people, they don't take traditional medicine

and don't want someone to spoil my market.

- You know the value that's why you take traditional medicine. - Tutu.

- My boss needs this drink. - Tutu!

Sir!

- Fall into position. - Yes sir.

Fall in.

Attention!

Breathe in!

Out.

God.

- Tutu. - Sir.

Can you smell how you are reeking of alcohol at this time of the day?

Sorry sir! It's not my fault don't be angry.

It's the condition of this country sir.

Sir, I assure you, I assure you, as I am, any criminal I see I'll shoot one time sir.

Of course, I can see your AK-47.

Sorry sir!

The police force is a combination

of the good ones,

who deserve to be promoted.

In!

And the bad ones whom we are hopeful will amend their ways.

In!

And of course, the very ugly ones who are a total embrassment to the police

and who need to be flushed out.

At ease!

- Tutu I said at ease or do you want me to drill you? - No sir!

At ease!

Sorry sir. Sir it's the weather.

Driver stop me here. Stop me here!

Stop me here!

I say stop me here! Stop me here!

- You never told me to stop you here. - Stop me here.

You want to drive me past my destination, you think I don't know...

Foolish and stubborn person, see what you have done!

You are a foolish person, mad and stupid person. Look at...

They have started... Lagos people.

They have arrived. See them.

- Where are you going sir? - I want to enter the house.

I'll be a mad man to let you into that bank dressed like a tattered clown.

Besides, this is a bank not a residential area.

Alamu Olugbenro.

Your apprentice house boy has insulted our generation.

Did you just call me "spiceless pepper"?

Your mother is a spiceless pepper.

Your father is a spiceless pepper. Same for everyone in your family.

You look like 3 days sacrifice.

Beautiful mosquito, useless and stubborn.

You called me spiceless and I can't enter this house.

Officer, what is going on here?

Why is our customer's cloth torn like this? I hope you are not responsible.

Not at all sir. I was only...

Shut your mouth. This one, this one can never be responsive.

This one can never be responsive.

This frustrated zombie!

Funky Lagido.

-Baba, baba -Responsive!

- Sorry, sorry. Please what is the problem? - Thank you. I was about to enter this place

to see my kid that lives here.

This man said I can not enter into this place.

Even if I wear pants to come see my son, is it his business?

- Baba, sorry. Who is your son? - It's good this way.

- Alamu Ologbenro. - Branch Manager?

Officer, salute and apologize immediately.

Sorry sir. Salute sir.

- Baba, we are sorry. - You see, I wanted to sack him.

- I want to sack him. - No baba, please we are sorry.

Please let me help you.

Let's go inside. Let's go to my office.

- Please, please, please, please. - No, no, no.

- Let us go in. Take me to Alamu. - Let's go in.

- Let's go. - Let's go.

Sorry they don't know what they are doing honestly speaking.

- Let us go. - These people...

You lazy fool. All you can do is to run away when little boys are at the junction.

Little cult boys when they are operating at the junction, you take off!

Sir, I didn't run. I went to bring my African reinforcement.

And concerning our job, it's time for the government to pay us spiritual, extra allowance.

- African Enforcements? - Yes.

Boss, don't act like you don't know what I am talking about.

For this job, we need it to survive. My mother sells it, if you want it I can help you get one.

What do you take the policeforce to be? Some joke?

Boss.

When those boys you call small cult boys, when Detective Sam shot his pistol.

Kunle shot too.

When the boys began to shoot...

Boss.

The way Detective Sam ran you will know that he is an Olympic medalists wasting here.

Well, you boys sir, willingly signed up for this police job.

Every police is a hero and you should ditifully lay down your life for your country.

I have heard you boss... Well done sir.

- And Sam. - Sir.

I have heard complains about you, your boys still obtaining 50 naira from those at that junction.

- I thought I told you to clear the road block. - I'm sorry sir don't mind this useless Tutu.

You know I just returned from my undercover duties and I have not been able to monitor my unit for awhile.

- Tutu, why haven't you removed the road blocks? - Detective Sam.

Were you not the one that said I should remove the road block and put routine check?

Because we will pay someone's school fees soon?

So Sad, I'm shocked, so you are behind, you endorsed this collection of 50 naira bribe at the junctions?

No sir.

Boss we didn't collect 50 Naira.

Boss, routine check is 500.

Driving without seatbelt is 1,500.

No inner light is 1,500.

Over speeding is 1,500.

Too much light is 1,500.

Driving with loud music is 2,500.

Insulting the police force on duty, three slaps, a slap behind the head.

And 5,000 then everything double sir.

This is disgusting. Can you hear that?

You boys are useless, nonsense, you are an embarrassment to the police force.

In short, you're court jesters. I'm so ashamed of you.

You should not belong, you should not be in the police force.

Boss I haven't finished my report sir.

We also have cases of witches and wizards at night.

- Once we arrest them sir, 10,000... - Will you shut up!

- Nonsense, I feel like kicking you now. - Sorry sir.

- And sam. - Sir.

I'm surprised, I'm shocked, I'm disappointed.

I want a full report of this allegation, before the end of the day on my desk okay?

- Yes sir. - And you are no longer on undercover duty.

- I want you to shave your breads. - Yes sir.

- Is that all right? - Yes sir.

Everybody, at ease!

Dismissed!

Minus you, continue your...

Continue! Give me 5,000.

Looks like yours is the fuller.

Come on, dog!

Why the hell are you sitting out here poisoning your lungs with this

local gin and cigarette. while you're missing out on all the fun out there.

Are there naked a girls o girls dressed indecently so I can go press her ass and breasts.

Nigga, you're so full of shit.

Why the hell do you broke ass horny thugs think you can treat women like a piece of ass?

No, I don't like a piece of ass, I like pieces of ass.

I am a strong man, give me a lady with big ass, a very big ass.

- Drop it. - I won't go of her, I swear!

You can't fool anybody.

Why do you keep drinking this local gin.

Look, I bet you man, your sperm comes out in powder not liquid.

May you be struck by lightning.

Bring your mother.

Your mother who is a pastor tell her to come to my house and perform miracles here.

I swear if I don't impregnate her call me a bastard. Foolish man, mad man.

I promise you dude, she will love to come, she would.

But her ministry healing the sick.

Not waking the dead.

- You are crazy. Let me give you a eye. - Chill man.

Look at those dudes, kissing the guy's ass.

And that's your mate.

And no body here kissing your ass.

You are mad. Ask the woman selling local gin here if she doesn't kiss my ass.

We cannot sit idle and allow this man go with the money.