The Ultimatum: Marry or Move On

I am ready to be married.

I want to be with somebody that I could spend the rest of my life with.

I think about being married every day,

my future family, my future husband, my future kids.

I want to share the rest of my life with somebody,

but it's time for her to make a decision.

It's time for us to get engaged and get married,

or it's time for me to move on.

We get engaged at the end of this process,

or we will break up.

I want a ring on this finger, that's what I want.

That's why I'm giving Roxanne the ultimatum.

That's why I'm giving Alex an ultimatum.

This is why I'm giving Riah an ultimatum.

-Welcome, I'm Vanessa Lachey. -And I'm Nick Lachey.

You all came here as a couple.

One of you is ready to be married,

and the other one is not so ready yet.

Someone in the relationship has issued an ultimatum.

Antonio, you're giving Roxanne the ultimatum.

Yes, I think that kind of pressure needs to be applied

for her to think seriously about marriage.

I knew that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with Roxanne,

from the moment that I met her.

I was, like, "Oh, my God. I love this girl."

I love Antonio, but I had a lot of high expectations.

I want someone who works really hard,

and is ambitious, and that's just not Antonio.

He knows I'm extremely, extremely career-focused.

I don't know why I'd put marriage in the middle

of just things all going in the right direction.

Antonio, would you be willing to walk away if she says no?

Yes, I would be.

Psychologists agree that giving an ultimatum,

isn't exactly a good way to get someone else

to do what you want,

but it is the very best way to get the answers that you need,

and, in a timetable, that you can live with.

Now, there are lots of reasons people

say they aren't ready for marriage,

but the truth is, fear of commitment

almost always boils down to just one simple question.

"Am I really with the person

I can see spending the rest of my life with?"

Or is there someone else out there,

who might be a better fit?

All of you are about to have a once-in-a-lifetime experience.

You will explore two different versions

of what your married life could be like.

If you're not ready to marry your current partner,

there's a chance that they could find someone else who is.

Guys, take a look around.

Each of you are compatible with multiple people in this room.

One of those strangers could turn out

to be exactly what you've been looking for.

The terms of The Ultimatum are very clear.

At the end of this experience,

you'll leave here either engaged,

or alone,

or possibly in love with someone new.

Lisa, you issued the ultimatum.

I did. We've been together for almost two years,

and we love each other, and our families love each other,

so it's kind of, like, "What are you waiting on?"

The goal is to leave here with the man

that I'm in love with.

Maybe, you know, we're not ready for marriage.

I feel pretty confident that he's gonna propose,

because I don't think he's ever been put in a position

to where he truly felt like he was gonna lose me.

I just love how she's careless,

I mean...

se...

...selfless, sorry, selfless.

-I apologize. -You better correct that.

Selfless.

Super selfless.

-I love you. -I love you too, stop.

Okay.

I want to make sure that we are in a good financial space,

so that I can provide for our future family.

I'm ready to be married.

You know, we've talked about it over and over again,

that if he's not ready to propose,

then I'm ready to move on.

Okay. Well, Ryann, can I ask you why did you issue an ultimatum?

We're both done with school,

and I feel like it's finally time

for us to make that next step and get married.

We've been together ever since we were 16 years old.

So you were high school sweethearts?

-Yes, ma'am, yes, we were. - Yeah.

We've never lived together.

The longest we've ever spent together,

is about two weeks, like, on a family vacation,

or something like that.

Supervised two weeks.

With a house full of people.

I find it hard to believe in a one true love.

Statistically, I just don't think that's possible.

There's eight billion people in this world.

I feel like at this point, seven years in,

you should know for sure,

like, am I the person you wanna spend the rest of your life with?

I feel like it shouldn't be a question.

Like, if he's unsure about marrying me,

then... what am I doing?

Yeah.

I've been in school for five-and-a-half years,

so I wanna make sure that we're in a better financial space.

Sounds similar to what Brian said.

Your concerns are primarily financial concerns.

Right.

Trey, so you issued an ultimatum.

Where I am in my life is,

it's the right time as far as the financial part,

got that part down pat.

We live together.

I think our relationship is good.

Well, I love her a whole lot.

My parents have been together for 30 plus years,

and I already know that it takes a...

It's a decision to love somebody every day.

It's not just a feeling.

Well, I haven't seen a happy, healthy marriage.

I've only seen, you know, situation-ships or a divorce,

but when you're looking at social media,

you see all these big old cases of roses.

I'm, like, oh, that's nice.

The first Valentine's Day that me and Riah had,

I lined my house with candles all the way

down the hallway to the bedroom,

lingerie laid out, teddy bear on the bed.

I had Beyoncé playing in the back.

So to me, I went above and beyond

the romantic gesture.

-It was nice. -Nice?

Since then, I've been kind of...

-He doesn't do anything else. -

That was it. That was the romance, because I hurt his feelings.

The exact response that I got was,

"It's not quite like the TikTok video."

That's the the exact response,

I got and I was, like, "All right."

He's ready, he has a job,

but I'm still trying to figure things out,

when it's, like, the career and, like,

what I want to do in life.

And I think right now, I have a lot of "I don't knows"

and I need to figure out those "I don't knows".

I'm ready, I think we're ready,

and that's what the experience is for.

If we're not on the same page, got to move on.

This makes me think of when we were dating,

I swore I wouldn't be a girl who gave an ultimatum, and I did.

Well, and let's be honest,

I had my own, what I thought were very valid reasons

for not being ready to...

To jump in, and five years later, I'm, like, "Is it me?"

"Are you ready, if it was the right person,

would you... would you just jump into it or... or is it me?"

So we dated other people.

It was one month, and he had this other thing,

and I had this other thing, and he came back and he said,

"I can't do this with anybody else but you."

He proposed, and that's kind of what this experience is.

Guys, let me tell you from my perspective,

how great marriage can be.

Like, there is nothing better than

waking up every day next to your best friend.

There's nothing more meaningful

I've ever done in my life than this woman right here.

Best thing you can do in this entire experience,

is be honest with yourselves

and be honest with the people that you're sharing this experience with.

Tonight is your last night together as a couple.

Tomorrow, you all are gonna break up and become exes.

You might find that absence makes the heart grow fonder,

or you may find that absence,

makes the heart grow absent.

Over the next week, you'll date each of your new potential partners.

At the end of the week, at the Choice,

you will each choose a new partner.

You'll move in together for three weeks,

and a trial marriage.

And then you'll do it all over again, with the person you arrived here with.

Ultimately, we want you to make the right decision,

with the right person.

Choosing someone to commit your life to

is one of the biggest decisions that you will ever make.

Either way, your lives will be changed forever.

We will be back here in one week for the Choice.

Cheers to love.

Cheers.

In eight weeks, the ultimatum will come to term,

and an Ultimatum is a pretty harsh way

to get someone to do what you want,

but sometimes you've got to take it into your own hands.

It's, like, so crazy how some men here

are actually ready to propose, and you're not.