Entourage

THE BAT MITZVAH

It may not look like much now but wait till you see Poseidonis in 3D.

- With Aquaman riding Storm. - What's Storm?

That's his animatronic seahorse.

Amazing. Eventually you won't even need actors, right?

In five years we won't.

Kidding.

You still mad at me for bailing on dinner?

I'm not mad at you.

- So what's wrong? - Who says there's anything wrong?

I know you. I can tell.

Vince, you haven't known me in like five years.

True. You've probably changed a lot. I've changed a lot. I learned French.

I didn't know these two had a history.

It's nothing.

Even if something was wrong, I think it's egotistical

that you just assume it's about you.

That's right. I mean, you're right.

But I'm right too. There is something wrong. So what is it?

Nothing.

I don't want to talk about it with you.

We're gonna be up here for a while, we might as well talk about something.

I had a fight with Chris.

I don't want to talk about that.

Vince, how are we ever going to make this movie together?

They're gonna make this movie together

because between them they're making $million.

Fucking actors, they never know when they're miked,

it was weird, on "True lies"

it was Tom Arnold that said he was gonna be governor.

Uh, excuse me, Mr. Cameron.

- Yeah? - Ron's on the phone.

There seems to be a small problem with the hovercraft.

What is it?

- It won't hover. - God damn it.

Gary?

I hope these two are not going to be a fucking problem, Eric.

Go ahead, Jim.

Gary, I need you at the hovercraft right now, over.

Flying in.

What happened with you and Chris? I want to know.

Right now we're having communication issues.

We had those.

- You got to be more upfront. - Oh really?

If we're talking about someone who's never been upfront,

we should be talking about you.

- What? - Well I'm going to be upfront now.

I'm not over you.

And I haven't gotten over you.

How's that for upfront?

We are so fucked.

So first you tell me your rationship with this girl was meaningless.

Then I find out that you proposed to her.

Then you tell me you haven't thought about her in five years

when, as sick as it is, you're still in love with her.

How can I trust anything you say anymore?

How can I trust you? You're the one eavesdropping.

Should have Gavin de Becker come sweep the house for bugs.

You know what? This is a bad situation.

You know what, E? There's is no situation.

Mandy is engaged. You're acting like an obsessed schoolgirl.

E, do me a favor. Manage my career, not my relationships.

This is your career. And mine too, all right?

In front of James Cameron, stop lying to me.

I don't want to talk about this in front of the guys. I'm serious.

Vince, Armani doesn't have a suit for under two grand.

Don't worry, it's all on me.

Seriously, do we need to wear suits?

What else are you going to wear to a Bat Mitzvah? A Knick jersey?

It's formal. I was thinking home whites.

How come you're not trying anything on?

I don't let other men buy my clothes, Drama.

And I'm not paying two grand for a suit myself.

Wear the suit you wore for your high school graduation.

It's hanging in your closet.

I thought that was his communion suit.

E didn't grow much from communion to high school graduation.

It's probably the same suit.

Fuck you guys. I'm going to Men's Warehouse.

Oh come on, E. I think you can afford a nice suit.

Yeah, E. Don't be such a chaza.

I'm brushing up on my Hebrew for the affair.

Chaza means greedy, Drama, not cheap.

- How do you know? - E used to valet park at Ohav Shalom.

That's great, Drama. Now you're illiterate in two languages.

Let's hit shoes.

Men's Warehouse?

Don't start.

What do you think, red or blue?

The red's a little flashy for a Bat Mitzvah, Vince. I like the blue.

Okay. How did you know we were going to a Bat Mitzvah?

- You don't remember me? - Sloan.

- Sloan McQuewick, right? - That's right.

Good memory. Eric, right?

Yeah, good memory too.

This is Terrance's daughter. Terrance is Ari's boss.

- Ari's partner. - That's right. Now I remember.

- Do you? - No, not really.

I'm sorry, how did we meet?

The Christmas party, last year. You were going to Italy, right?

That's right. You were thinking about getting engaged.

- What? - We had a couple drinks.

More than a couple, I think.

I take it you didn't then.

Oh no. We broke up.

So, will I be seeing you both at Ari's party?

- Yeah. - Great. We'll have fun.

- See ya. - Nice to meet you again.

Well, Vince, what else can we do for you today?

I'm just going to look at some more ties and that's it.

Great.

Know what, Philip? I think I'm going to buy myself a new suit.

What? She's not engaged.

Don't even think about not picking that up, Ray,

- 'cause I'll fucking kill you. - Fuck you, Ari.

Fabulous, baby. Fabulous.

Hey, is it me or is her voice getting worse?

Doesn't mean that I don't love her, but she's just awful, baby.

Hey kids. Whose car's out front?

Terrance. He's waiting for you out back.

Terrance is here? Why's he here?

I don't know. Why don't you find out?

Ari, what are you freaking out about?

Guy lives three blocks from us and hasn't been by in five years.

Now he shows up four hours before we're supposed to see him. Something's up.

- Ari. - What?

You're a partner now. You don't need to be afraid of him anymore.

I'm afraid of him? I'll beat that old fuck and throw him in the pool.

Only daddy speaks that way.

Out.

- There he is. - Ari!

Terrance, what a pleasant surprise.

- Nice to see you, mate. - Nice to see you.

- Sweaty. - Ha ha.

Well, I'm looking forward to this evening.

Yeah, well it should be fun, huh?

Cost me enough, it better be.

I hope you're not going to try and expense

any of this Bat Mitzvah to the agency.

Me?

Ah, so little Sarah becomes a woman tonight.

Yeah.

Time flies. Incredible, isn't it?

It seems like only yesterday

that my Sloan was running around in pigtails and braces.

- Amazing. - Yeah yeah.

You know, speaking of Sloan,

she mentioned that she ran into Vincent Chase in Beverly Hills.

You know, she can't stop raving about this guy.

She thinks he's gonna be a giant movie star.

I've been saying that for five years.

Yes, but Sloan is never wrong.

You know, she saw Johnny Depp

in "Platoon" when she was eight years old

and she said, "dad, that's the guy to watch."

You showed her "Platoon" when she was eight years old?

- Oliver did. He wanted feedback. - Ha ha ha.

Listen, the reason for my visit is

I'd like a little chat with Mr. Chase tonight.

I'd like to see into his head,

Find out what his hopes and his dreams are.

We've had that talk dozens of times,

And I could tell you firsthand--

No, firsthand would be him telling me.

So listen, why don't you give me

a proper introduction tonight, huh?

- I mean, make an old man happy. - Yeah.

Oh, listen...

- This is for the little lady. - Oh.

I didn't want my gift to get mixed up with all the others.

Huh?

Would you stop?

- You're gonna spoil your appetite. - You're not my mother.

If I'm not eating, you're not eating.

I'm fucking starving!

Do you know how much food is gonna be at this thing?

You eating right now would be like jerking off

an hour before fucking a supermodel.

If I was fucking a supermodel, I would jerk off.

That way I can go all night.

- You guys ready for a big night? - You sure Ari wants us there?

Of course he does, Turtle. Ari looks at us as family.

Then why doesn't he represent me?

Oh hey! Look at this guy!

$3,000 suit just to line up some pussy, huh, E?

It's a good investment. McQuewick's gotta be worth 100 million easy.

You buying that suit is like buying Microsoft in the '80s.

That's if you can get the girl.

- I just needed a new suit, that's all. - Oh yeah?

- What about the hair? - What about it?

- A little shiny. - Mangoes.

- Don't smell me. - Uh-oh.

Looks like we're headed for another E romance novel.

Get your tissues ready, guys.

Seriously, if this one breaks your heart,

just kill yourself so we don't have to hear about it.

I'll have the Barry Manilow CD ready for you.

- Fuck you guys. - What are you so sensitive about?

We know you well enough to know you're in for trouble.

Yeah? How well do we know you, Vince?