Partner Track

Newton's first law of motion.

An object at rest, stays at rest.

And an object in motion, stays in motion.

Basically, bodies keep on doing what they're doing.

It's simple.

If you want to accelerate, you need more force.

I love laws. In physics and in life.

So I became a lawyer.

And why Mergers and Acquisitions? Because I've always wanted to be the best.

The toughest, smartest corporate lawyers do M&A.

And a girl like me really needs to stay tough in a city like this.

See? Exhibit A.

I know if I work harder than anyone else, apply more force, I'll make partner.

They say being on the partner track

-is how you find out who you really are. -

Sorry. I'm coming up now. Sorry, I'm...

- You're doing it again. -What? Oh right.

Guys never apologize. Sorry.

You know what else guys never do? Apologize for apologizing.

It's Waffle Wednesday.

You know I love waffles, but forget me. Save yourself.

Don't think I won't.

I've sold my soul for a lot less than artisanal baked goods.

I need a new case, stat.

What? I just wrapped the Weiland deal. I need to staff ASAP.

You have seriously worked nonstop for six years.

It's in the bag.

M&A's only promoting two, maybe three junior partners this year.

Right. You, Dan, and Todd.

Maybe. We're neck and neck.

- -Oh.

Look. I just need one more heavyweight to lock it in.

You won't lose junior partner 'cause you're not staffed for one day.

I've been for two weeks.

Objection. Motive.

-You want to coast. -Mm-hmm.

-Girl, you need to relax. -Look, I can't.

I have to land a major deal before they decide who's making partner.

I'm in Litigation, but if you want intel on deal flow,

your Mean Girls should have the hot goss.

She turns around, she was a total bakkushan.

- Oh. -Oh God. What is a bakkushan?

A wide margin on the face-body quotient.

As used in a sentence, "The bar was so dark,

Dan didn't notice his date was a bakkushan until it was too late."

It means she looked like you from the back.

But Dan from the front.

-To my disappointment, she wasn't you. -Clearly. She was on a date with you.

- -Are you coming?

-There's Marty Adler. -And half the management committee.

It's hard to carry this firm on my shoulders, guys.

Looks like Marty's rain dance paid off.

Marty's not a rainmaker, he's a kingmaker.

Whoever gets on his deal wins the golden ticket.

They're still promoting everyone who's tracking, right?

What do you have to worry about, Mr. Gretchen Landrus?

-Then there's London Boy. -Yeah, we got a new transfer.

Into M&A? Now?

And I'm stuck on that Pharma Co. deal.

Whichever of you gets to work with Marty will be guaranteed to make partner.

That would be me. You know I love all you bakkushans, but...

this one's mine.

- -Go. Land that deal.

Waffles, anyone?

I have your mother on the line.

I'll call her back later,

and I need all the intel on Marty Adler's new deal.

Your new paralegal.

The hell is this?

HR finally realized that giving Ingrid all the paralegals of color may be racist.

So, this week, she got...

Get your feet off the goddamn desk.

She graduated number two in her class at Harvard Law,

while your ass was probably flunking Colgate.

Show some freakin' respect.

What, no waffles?

Something way better.

So, who was that Brit you met all those years ago at Rosecliff?

Rosecliff. Jane and Tony's wedding?

Yeah, you were Maid of Honor at that disaster, but you said you met...

Bogie.

Yeah.

And you guys...

-Yeah. -Yeah.

And you said it was an instant connection. Fireworks. Upstairs bedroom.

He asked me if I meant what I said in my toast.

About soulmates.

"Belief in true love is the same as believing in God

because you believe in...

...destiny."

That's when he said you had chocolate on your lips and kissed you.

And then he said, "Not chocolate, marzipan..."

-"Pineapple." -"Pineapple." It was nice.

"Nice"? Girl, you said "love at first sight."

You were using soulmate-level language.

He was leaving for London the next day.

-So we agreed "no names, no questions." -Uh-huh.

Where did you get that?

The waffle station.

Mm-hmm.

Are you okay?

What is he doing here?

The love of your life from how long ago?

Okay. He's not the love of my life.

-Six years ago. -Oh my God, Ingrid.

This is exactly what you need.

We're gonna be 30, and you've dated a grand total of three guys.

Three. My 13-year-old niece has more experience than you, which is not cool.

Seriously, Ingrid...

...life is not just about making partner. You gotta get out there and live a little.

I will. After I make junior partner.

Speaking of, I've got a department meeting.

Good luck with you-know-who. And I don't mean Marty Adler.

I want this deal. I'm your guy.

Tyler, we all want you on this case,

but we need a reason to take Gavin off.

Okay. Hey, look. Not only have I pitched six new clients,

I started reading Vogue, Teen Vogue, and Women's Wear Daily when I was 11.

I know Alexander McQueen didn't know couture until Givenchy,

and unlike Gavin Dunmore, I actually know the difference between polyester and wool.

Fine. It's yours.

You won't be sorry.

Luxe for Raymond Vanderlin.

Yes! Remember when you're running Luxury Goods,

I want a huge discount on all client products.

Girl, you won't need it because you'll be running this place.

By the way, can you believe there is not one but two Asian American first-years?

Wait. What?

Don't they annihilate each other in a flash of energy and release a photon?

Come say hi to the kids at the reception tonight.

Uh-uh!

Not if I get on Marty Adler's new deal.

- -

I'm so sorry.

Hey.

Hi.

Ingrid.

Ingrid Yun?

Jeff Murphy. It's a pleasure to meet you.

We've met. Jane and Tony's wedding?

Oh, that's right. Of course. Yeah.

-You don't remember. -No, I do. Of course, I do.

No. You had on that dress, right? Very pretty dress.

Oh, that pink thing?

That's the one. Yeah.

It was blue.

Ooh.

Well, I had a lot to drink that night.

Apparently.

I didn't do anything embarrassing, did I?

No. You were an absolute gentleman.

Was I?

Is that letter or spirit of the law, Counselor?

Clearly you're not compos mentis, so I'll let you off with a warning.

-This time. -How magnanimous of you.

You're the transfer from London.

Guilty as charged.

I take it you're in M&A too. What year are you in?

-Sixth. -So you're the competition.

-Don't flatter yourself. -You think you're that good?

Better.

Yun, should we be jealous?

Jeff Murphy. Just transferred from across the pond.

-Dan Fallon. -Todd Ames. You're from London?

-Um, well, thereabouts. -I used to summer in Kent.

Oh yeah. I spent a lot of time in Knole Park.

I'm Hunter, like the green.

Nice to meet you, Hunter.

Mr. Adler. Ma... Marty. Marty Adler.

- Oh God. -I'm Caleb Sanders.

I'm a first-year here at Parsons.

I am really excited to be here.

May I ask a question?

Don't fucking ask permission to ask a question.

Just ask the fucking question.

- Of course. - Come on, man

So in intellectual property law, we studied the Lexion-Huntsman case,

and how you handled the patent issues was brilliant. And I...

Stop. Stop talking.

Sanders, right?

No one's buying your wide-eyed ingénue act.

-It's manipulative and a cliché. -

And stop laughing. It's making me mad. Laughter is a coward's expression of fear.

Bye.

You know, I've asked them to move this paragraph three times.

They really should go over Marty Adler in orientation.

- -

-Sorry. -Read your audience, pal.

- Beautiful. -You in for bingo?

-Sure. I'll go with "kick the tires." -I'm going with "circle the wagons."

-"Knock it out of the park" for me. -20 bucks buy-in.

Whoever's Phrase that Pays gets spoken first, wins. Feeling lucky?