Barry

Excuse me, sir. Do you work here?

Barry, it's me.

- It's Hank. - I know it's Hank!

- In a wig. - I know you're in a wig!

- Mr. Cousineau. - Gene is in pain.

He needs time to process what happened.

Janice was murdered.

I have come to offer you a proposition.

Sweet baby Jesus!

How can we not want to be in business with this, huh?

Esther is throwing complete monkey wrench

into my relationship with Cristobal.

So you kill her. Classic crisscross.

That's not a crisscross.

Oh, thank God you're here!

Mr. Fuches...

You got a court order to take my DNA?

We just got a DNA match on CODIS.

Monroe Fuches. Cleveland.

Ohio!

Barry.

- Barry. - What?

Ground Control to Major Barry.

Are you listening, man?

That troll Esther is pulling fast one.

So Burmese come to America

pretending to be persecuted Buddhist monks.

They ask government for the religious asylum,

then live here in temple until they are clear from immigration.

Then, they join Burmese mafia.

Whole monastery is gateway for soldiers and drugs.

That's actually kind of a genius plan.

No. It's not genius.

She is not a genius, okay?

It's an okay plan. It's fine.

And I guarantee you, she did not come up with it.

I mean, look at her.

And look at Cristobal's face.

That is a cry for help.

So you get in there, you shoot her in her

crazy watermelon-sized head with...

this.

My family sent it to me as threat.

Now, if it came back with Esther's blood on it,

phew, massive fumble turnover for Hank.

Came back with her blood on it? What do you mean?

I don't know how... You want me to get the bullet

out of her head, is that what you're saying?

- Yeah. - I don't know how I'd do that.

- That's not how bullets work. - Okay, um...

Dummy's version: What if you shoot her

with a thick book behind her?

It'll go through her head, get stuck in book, you open up book,

- take out bullet, simple. - No, no.

- It's so simple. - That's not...

So you're saying is I need to get her to read

a really thick book, and then while she's reading,

I shoot her in the back of the head, is that what you're saying?

- Okay. Yeah. I see what you're saying. - You see what I'm saying?

That's a hat on a hat, so... right.

Regardless, everyone has to know this is job done by Hank.

So, come on, take it.

Am I evil?

Huh?

Am I like an...

Am I like, like an evil person?

Oh, my God!

I mean, absolutely.

Do I not tell you that enough?

You are like the most evil guy I know, man!

You know I take no pleasure in killing people.

You know that, right?

Man, all this talking has made me hungry.

You know what I could really go for?

Yoshinoya beef bowl.

What the fuck?

Hey, Loach. Ooh, look at that smile!

Is that your ex?

Who is that... Oh, that's the new guy.

He's cute. It must be weird, though.

You kind of want them to end up with a dog, right?

Mae, what did I tell you about coming in to my office?

To step out.

Um, okay.

Knock, knock.

I'm ready to go on that trip.

- All packed. - Cool. What trip?

Uh, to Cleveland to go interview that Fuches guy.

You're not going to Cleveland.

What? You can't go alone.

That would be a breach of protocol.

Look, Moss was my partner.

This is personal to me, and you have to respect that.

All right? I'm doing this alone.

Is that all you're taking, though?

Did your wife take all the luggage?

I'm sorry to tell you,

but one of the twins smothered the other twin in the womb.

- No... - Why would God allow this to happen?

Maybe he only wanted us to have one child...

- Hey. - Hey.

... a girl.

What's going on?

Everyone was so jealous of your performance last class,

that they wanted to share their own pain.

It's like competitive grief.

We'll name her...

Natalie.

Okay. Got him.

All right, I know you were just a fetus...

Right.

... but is this close to your experience?

From what I remember, yes.

Shh!

- Okay, who's next? - Yo, me, Antonio.

Oh, I cannot wait to eat this taco.

Oh, no, I spill hot sauce on my ankle.

¡Ay, Dios mío!

Eric... Eric, stop.

Doctor, will my leg be all right?

Your pit bull bit through your lower leg tendon.

- Achilles. - Achilles.

Your professional soccer career is over. I'm sorry.

Ay!

Vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom.

Son...

Your mother and I want you to know we're getting a divorce.

It's not your fault. We've just grown apart.

We'll always love you, baby Eric.

Now get these dead bodies out of here,

you fucked up serial killer.

That's not what happened!

Great day! What a journey you all took us on, huh?

A lot of doctors giving us a lot of bad news.

I don't know if your work rose to yesterday's level

from our good friend Barry here.

Well, he was in a war.

So lucky.

Yes, Barry was blessed

with being able to witness the atrocities of war, absolutely.

I bet you all wish you were down in the shit with him.

But here's the difference.

Barry, you told your story with such vulnerability,

such honesty.

Look, I know it is hard to see yourselves

reflected in the exercises up here.

What if we challenged ourselves to discover ourselves?

What if we wrote our own pieces,

using moments from our own lives

that help shape and define us?

What if we didn't elevate

somebody else's character in somebody else's story

but we finally wrote our own?

What if we made it about ourselves for a change?

- Yes. - Now, Barry,

you're gonna tell that story from Afghanistan.

The rest of you, you're gonna find your sheep-fucker moments.

And then we'll take them all,

we will mold them into a show

that we will do for a paying audience

and the occasional VIP comp.

Now, this is the new work, ladies and gentlemen.

Are you with me?

- Well, let's get to it! - Yes, Gene!

Sally, excuse me.

Where are you going? You haven't gone yet.

Oh, yeah. Shit, sorry. Can I go next class?

It's just, I have a meeting to go to at Gersh.

Are you telling me that that is more important

than sharing your truth with the class?

It's just my new agents have put together my reel

of all the jobs I've been getting,

like clips of them, like, cut together.

- We know what a reel is. - I'm really excited.

Sorry. You guys were great, though.

It was really, really good.

You know what? To the rest of you, take a loose 15.

But, like, I'm not surprised that she did that.

_

Hey, Mr. Cousineau?

Hey, Private Pyle. How you doing?

Oh, let's not call me that.

Your story, just an idea...

There is an embellishment called the Dennehy Balloon.

Actually, it's a colostomy bag filled with blood

that Brian Dennehy used during Death Trap.

When he was shot, he would...

Mr. Cousineau, um, I don't really have to tell the story

I told yesterday in front of an audience, do I?

- Of course not. - Oh, good. Thank you.

No, that version is just the beginning.

- Shit. - See during rehearsal...

and this is just my instinct...

you're gonna find more complicated and fucked up details.

Those... we have to hear.

Right, but you know, you said that this is a story

- that, um, has to define us. - Mm-hmm.

I just... I don't think that's the person that I am.

- Barry, you're justifiably nervous. - Yeah.

But I will not hear a word about switching it out, one iota,